inherently wrong

2010-01-09T08:09:00.001-05:00

When bad haircuts happen to good people who cheat on their stylist

2009-02-08T07:21:00.009-05:00

For the last few months I have been cheating on my regular hair stylist with the girl who works at the next station. It all started innocently enough when I was in desperate need of a trim and found out that M was on vacation for a week. Fine. So I try for the next week only to be told out she was booked solid because of her vacation. Then the nice receptionist said, "Pookie, you can either wait the the two weeks or S has just had a cancellation and can do it today." Being the impatient guy that I am, I took the appointment.

When I arrived that Saturday morning I was greeted with a knowing smile from the receptionist (who I now realize is nothing but a matchmaking little minx) and S standing there with a glass of fresh juice for me. "Come on back, honey" she beckoned - and I did. When I was seated in the strange chair she proceeded to give me something I hadn't had in years - a genuine consultation. M had stopped asking me about my wants and needs a long time ago so this was a nice change. All M and I ever talked about anymore was her kids, her husband (ass hole), my school and work. We were in that old married couple phase of our client/stylist relationship. So when S showered me with attention and then spent a good hour on my hair working magic with her razor, I was hooked. Better yet, when she was done I had a fucking great haircut and not one one of those that you grow into - it was perfect as soon as she was finished.

Then, after I paid my bill (which included the same discount M always gave me) and handed her a tip it happened - we hugged. At that moment we both new this hair affair was on. Fast forward a few weeks and I called to make my next appointment. Now I knew M didn't work on Saturdays but I wasn't ready to tip my hat just yet so I asked for a weekend appointment anyway. Miss Minx, the receptionist, played along with my game perfectly. It was a classic case of DADT: she didn't ask me why after all these years I didn't know M never worked on Saturday and I didn't tell. "S is available, would you like her?" Of course I did. This was how we did it every time - I would call to make an appointment with M and she wouldn't be working --- but S was --- and so it went. Each time I walked away with a perfect out-the-door cut and compliments from all my friends.

It got to the point that S and I even talked about M - in a good way. "Tell her hello for me and that I hate my schedule doesn't let me come in on weekdays anymore...How is M doing? I haven't seen her in ages?....Oh, M got a new dog....M's daughter is on honor roll..." Then came the day I let S do my highlights. This was a HUGE step because anyone who gets highlights know the level of trust that has to exist between stylist/client - and we had it. Again, perfect cut and perfect highlights. Hell, I wasn't even feeling bad at this point because my hair looked great and we both new it. M was officially out of the picture. We had passed the point of "sneaking around" and were in a full-blown relationship.

So yesterday I went in for my appointment and it was just like always. Small talk about M and life in general; the consultation; and then the cut. Everything was going great until she brushed off my neck; removed the cape; and asked me how it looked. When I glanced in the mirror I saw that it was a lot shorter than the other times - and when I glanced at my watch I saw it had only taken her about 30 minutes instead of the usual hour. WTF, we had progressed to a quickie in just a few months??? What happened to us? More importantly, what happened to the precision cut that offered me immediate gratification instead on one that will take two weeks to grow into.

Dammit, I hate this. I realize every relationship has it's off days just like every hair stylist has their off days, but I thought this was different. It is the same cut and precisely even ( yeah I checked) but it is so fucking short. When I left it wasn't the same; I put on a fake smile and gave her the obligatory hug after the tip but this time the cheater feels cheated. I don't think I like this feeling --- cheating isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Typhoid Mommies

2009-02-01T07:42:00.006-05:00

What is it with parents who insist on sending their child to school knowing they are miserably sick and contagious? This past Monday I had 3 kids who were so sick that they had to call for parent pick up.

1) One little girl was coughing, hacking, draining, sneezing, and crying she felt so bad - her mother is a stay-at-home-mom.

2) A boy announced right off the bat that his mommy told him he was too sick to be at school but she an appointment and would be checking him out after lunch - this mommy was so proud of her "new nails" that she felt compelled to take off her shoes and show off her freshly painted nails to the school nurse when she picked up her son with the 102 fever.

My favorite:

3) This little girl was sitting at my work table with 4 other kids when she leaned in and said, "I just pooed my pants a little. This has been happening all weekend! At least I haven't started throwing up yet" - come to find out her two sisters who attend the same school AND mommy were all at home sick with a stomach bug. So why in the hell did mommy send little "Adrianne" to school? Because her best friend in class was bringing cupcakes to lunch for her birthday and mommy didn't want her to miss her friend's birthday - but she would not be at school on Tuesday.

Rest assured "Mommy" got a call to drag her ass right back to school to pick up daughter and a plastic bag with little Adrianne's stinking, soiled clothes (we keep cleans ones for such an occasion). I intentionally didn't tie the bag tight or rinse them out in hopes Mommy got a really good whiff and puked her damn guts out all over the front seat of her new mini-van.

Oh. My. God. By Thursday half of the class was snotty, drippy, hacky, and shitty. I understand there are times when it is really hard for a working parent or one in school them self to make arrangements for their sick child. I feel sorry for those parents and will do whatever I can to make it easier on them - and of course any sick child. However, these three parents were being irresponsible, selfish, and just plain stupid. I hope each of the sick kids is feeling all better and back in class in the morning - and I hope every one of their parents have spent their whole damn weekend sick in bed.

Good Riddens W

2009-01-19T11:03:00.003-05:00

TANKS IN MY MEMORY - Bye, George
Best. Video. Ever.

Hope

2009-01-17T08:16:00.005-05:00

A picture, or painting in this case, speaks volumes. After 8 years of mis-leadership, countless scandals, extreme partisanship, reckless spending, and vulgar abuse of power America is going to be graced with Hope.

When I look at the utter mess this country is in, I realize just how insanely self-serving and utterly disgusting Republicans, in particular the ones in charge, can be. But it's not soley Bush & ilk's fault America is in this state, I lay most of the blame at the feet of the fools - there I said it - who re-elected the Bush Administration for a second term. The ones with the real power in this country, the American voters, were the ones who ultimately gave this clusterfuck of power hungry assholes another term, and they gave it to them on a silver platter along with a blank check. All I can say to those who cast a vote for W in 2004 is that you brought the hard times on yourself. And for the rest of us, well, we just have to deal with the fallout from your mistake.

So is there Hope for the future of this country? It sure seems that way. Hope that the troops in Iraq will finally be coming back home where they belong. Hope that the poor and the middle class in this country will be offered decent health care, education, and equal rights. Hope that eventually this country will once again prosper and gain back the respect lost as a result of the greedy, arrogant Bush Administration. It feels good to be optimistic about the future of this country. More importantly it feels good just knowing that in 3 days, 1 hour, and 55 minutes (but who's counting?) that Hope will be official.

The length of a man's ring finger may predict his...

2009-01-13T06:12:00.005-05:00

...success as a financial trader. Researchers at the University of Cambridge in England report that men with longer ring fingers, compared to their index fingers, tended to be more successful in the frantic high-frequency trading in the London financial district. This according to a Yahoo News article on a study from PNAS: http://www.pnas.org/.

Forgive me if I'm wrong (inherently wrong in this case) but isn't it supposed to be that the length of a man's fingers was indicative (giggles) of the size of his penis? Is there a correlation between the two that a man with long fingers can pick winning stocks and is hung? So how exactly does this apply to me? I can tell you, I happen to have rather long fingers and for a while my account was up about 30%. Today, however, if you were privy to my Scottrade IRA account you'd see that the account has shrunk -- considerably dammit. But the last time I checked, like a few seconds ago, Pookie Jr. was still the same - no shrinkage detected. And, it's cold as all get out this morning. Enough said.

Fugly china, pink sharks, over zealous professors. Oh my.

2009-01-11T06:30:00.013-05:00

This pisses me off. Call me crazy, but the last time I checked this country was in a recession and we were supposed to be cutting back on frivolities. So why the need for almost half a million dollars worth of butt-ugly china for the White House? Yea, I know it's "donated" by the White House Historical Association but get real, there is a time and place for everything. Blatant excess during a time of national crisis is almost as vulgar as the current occupants them selves. And OMG... the Magnolia-Blossom "every day" china is just plain awful. Has Laura Bush no taste at all and did she even check Macy's Cellar for a far more attractive and much less expensive option? I did and I'm not a president's wife (thank God) - So there.

As the proud owner of almost 2,000 s.f of laminate flooring (I chose laminate over wood because of the dog) I feel it only fair to give props to one of the best new gadgets to hit the market. I introduce the Euro Pro Shark Steam Mop in Gayest Pink. Being a poor, struggling student, this Christmas was all about being practical. That and I have more shit than I know what to do with so I didn't need or want anything to wash, iron, or dust. I was telling T that I saw a commercial for this little beauty and how the lady mopping her wood floors made it look so easy. She was all smiles and giggles and shit as she pumped her steamer and set about the daunting task of cleaning her floors. Well, I am a sucker for cleaning gadgets so I dashed to the local Target to see what the fuss was all about. As soon as I saw it was OK for wood, tile , and laminate floors, I was sold. Let me tell you that this is the single best $79 I have spent in a long time. It is really simple to use and it cleans like nothing I have ever seen. This poor students floors haven't been so shiny since the day they were installed and it's safe for them. I highly recommend the Pink Shark. It works great on laminate as well as porous and smooth tile - and it is perfectly gay in color and design.

My first online class in my new Master's program is officially opened. I got the textbooks last week - saved over $225 by ordering from Amazon thank you very much - and for once had even read ahead for the class. Seeing as I've changed majors from counseling to instructional leadership I had no clue what to expect. So the class opened on Friday and much to my dismay I found out that the professor - who refers to himself as Dr. and "facilitator" which was a clue this was not going to be pretty - I spent literally 3 hours reading and re-reading this guy's version of a syllabus. Let me be the first to congradulate Dr. Facilitator X on his recent Phd , he earned it. But like so many other recent Phd's has has the ego to go with it. Why is it that a tenured professor is typically laid back and tries to make the outline of a course simple, while the adjunct professor, or Dr. Facilitator in this case, has to make everything as difficult to understand as possible? Like I said, I am real proud for you that you have your Phd and your credentials are most impressive, but your bedside manner, if you will, for this class leaves to be desired. Nothing makes sense at all.

There are lecture notes in the first module which pick up in one six weeks later and then direct you back to the original week only to send you to module three for a paragraph. Give me a fucking break already. Just copy/paste all the information and put it in one location. The expectations of the class are equally as ambiguous. Granted proficiency in APA writing is a given - this is grad school afterall - but why the need to inform your students on how proficient you are, Dr. Facilitator X? Just tell your class what is expected and then grade the damn work! K? I've a feeling that this is going to be a very long seven week course.

I suppose this will be all for this update. I've got another chapter to read and then a 2,500 word mini-essay due by 5:00 tomorrow. The story of my life for the past two years - research and write. And why did I want to blog again - because I don't write enough??????

Bounce, squeal, bounce, squeal

2009-01-05T18:30:00.005-05:00

What kind of parent buys their kids a personal inflatable jump house? The kind that lives directly behind my house. apparently We woke up Christmas morning to see a similar-looking monstrosity leering over the fence and hoped it was a rental. Oh but hell no. I'm afraid this thing is here to stay. It blows up in a few minutes and it stays up ALL DAY LONG. EVERY DAY.

I wonder how long before a kid grows tired of such a thing. A month?

2009-01-03T07:12:00.002-05:00

Procrastination is like masturbation. At first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself. ~Author Unknown

I put it off for far too long - a year now, but over the winter break I made the decision to change majors from Psychology/Counseling to Education. While this may seem like a drastic leap from one extreme to another, it really isn't because in either regard I will be helping someone - something I've always longed to do. All it really took was a few advanced courses and several hundred pages of research to show me that I would find little reward in marital counseling or God-forbid career counseling. I far prefer the reward that comes from looking into a students eyes when they "get it" - be it reading or mathematics.

Quite honestly, I have come to accept that I have more patience coaching a six year old to accept learn something new than I ever would with an adult. A child genuinely wants to better them self, while many adults spend their entire lives avoiding change.

All this said, I look forward to Monday morning to getting back into the classroom and seeing my class of 18 kids. I've missed their smiles and their emerging personalities and on some scale I've even missed their fearless attitudes and all of the drama that goes along with first grade. There is never a boring day in elementary school - the same cannot be said for adulthood.

Resurrection

2009-01-02T09:18:00.003-05:00

I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying. ~Charles C. Finn

It has been almost two years since I've posted on this blog and looking back I'm not really sure why I stopped. Perhaps it was just time. Even though I've not updated it, I've visited it several times a week - along with those blogs I link to but as a lurker. It seems as if the time has come to revisit why I ever started inherently wrong to begin with and why, at this stage in my life, I feel compelled to re-enter the world of blogging. One possible reason is that over Thanksgiving, through the six degrees of separation, I found out that I had a real-life connection to one of my all time favorite bloggers, Fightin' Mad Mary. As it turns out, my step-niece is married to a former co-worker of Mary. Talk about a small world. Anyway, this newly discovered connection planted the seed in my mind that I should thinking about blogging again.

So a lot has changed in my life over the past two years. I've cheated death, gone back to school and gotten a 2nd degree, and am currently working towards my third. One day, when - if - I grow up, I will be doing something rewarding for very little pay. Time will tell. For now I will just relish in my life as a middle-aged, struggling student. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy New Year to us all.

oopsie

2007-03-20T15:37:00.000-05:00

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS...

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.
He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

Best facial ever

2007-03-16T17:50:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I got the single best facial I've had since living in Atlanta and Saks had their salon/spa.

For $90 I got a men's deep cleansing & refining which consisted of: a starter mask & massage, Micro-dermabrasion followed by a full-face 25% glycolic acid peel, a lifting facial massage, pore extraction, and a 10 minute foot massage while the final mask of "secret healing herbs and minerals" was drying. Cap it all off with a Rosemary & Lemon toner/spritz and you have 90 minutes of sheer bliss. If I were rich I'd have one of these every week.

If anyone knows of a good toner/astringent that doesn't mess up a spray tan let me know. I love that super-clean feeling but not at the risk of ruining a $25 tan.

Parody on a large scale

2007-01-25T08:25:00.000-05:00

The alleged ex-gay blogger, singer, and humorist Donnie Davies is making all kinds of noise in blogger world. His The Bible Says aka God Hates a Fag video has succeeded in exposing the ex-gay movement for what it is -- a joke.

Exposing fundamentalist fascists one asshole at a time.

Something to ponder

2007-01-11T18:21:00.000-05:00

Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4 Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedo's and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. Inline skates and a walker

And last, but not least...

13. Thongs and Depends

Bush speaks on Iraq

2007-01-10T21:13:00.000-05:00

Blah, blah blah. Blah blah, blah blah blah blah.

Blagh Blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah.
Blah, blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, terrorists.

Blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah terrorists, blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Blah, blah blah. Blah blah, blah blah blah blah.Blagh Blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah.Blah, blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, terrorists.Blah, blah blah blah blah.

Blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah terrorists, blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah.
Blah blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah Blah blah blah, blah blah blah terrorist blah, blah blah blah blah.Blah, blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, terrorists.

Blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah terrorists, blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Blah, blah blah. Blah blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah Blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah.Blah, blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, terrorists. Blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah terrorists, blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah, blah blah. Blah blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah Blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah.Blah, blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah, terrorists.Blah, blah blah blah blah.

Blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah terrorists, blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Thank you and good night.

new year....start....attitude....treasures found

2007-01-03T18:42:00.000-05:00

Cheers to those left who still stop by! I trust you all had a safe and enjoyable holiday. May 2007 find you in good health; spirits; and your homes filled with love.

Christmas was for me a quiet and emotional time. It started out hectic and fun-filled. Lot's of dinners, parties and such. Then about 1/2 way through my old friends stress & depression stopped by for an extended visit and I slowed on down the festivities. All in all it was a very nice holiday. Spent time with the family (a little extra Xanax for that one) and some of our relatively drama-free friends. During the ups and downs of it all I did a lot of thinking, perhaps too much truthfully, and without even trying have started the new year off productively and in a very good emotional place.

A couple of my favorite sussies this year was the inno from T and one that I bought myself, a cd: Ultra-Lounge: Wild, Cool & Swingin' - Artist Series Vol 3 w/Mrs. Miller. The inno is amazing. Works like a charm and can be used in the car, at home, or like a normal mp3 player. So far I've found nothing about it that I don't like. And well the CD is something else all together. It's bizarre, disturbing, and makes me laugh out loud. What more can I say? Do yourself a favor and listen to the audio clips. I'm, actually thinking of throwing a small party around this particular CD. Tacky & bizarre food, decor, and of course Mrs. Miller hitting the right notes at all the wrong times. I'll keep ya posted if I proceed with this.

During my recent soul searching and cleansing of the spirit I got some work done around my place that was long overdue and hovering over my head like a dark cloud. My office is officially as organized as it could be. I spent an entire day going through files and setting up my 2006 tax folder -- all ready for the CPA -- and going through boxes in the office closet. I had more shit in that closet. Boxes of stuff that I've moved a 1/2 dozen times and several boxes of stuff that was my dad's. It was actually a lot of fun sorting through things from youth and a lot of stuff from my dad's youth and military days. Also, I found a cigar box full of recipes from my paternal grandmother which I'm going to put into book form for select members of the family -- as time permits. So I'm feeling pretty good about things for the time being.

Classes start on Monday and I really can't wait to get started. I've got an advanced algebra class and a "psychological art class" which is supposed to look at controversial art through the ages in relation to the human (fucked up) mind. What I'm expecting is to read about how since the beginning of time fundamentalist Christians have always hated and feared that which stimulates their delicate (and rather limited) sensibilities. I'll let ya know.

OK, it's time for confession:

In the past two weeks I've...

...smoked a lot more than I'd like
...wanted to smoke pot but never did
...felt like getting really drunk but didn't
...watched 8 episodes of Friday Night Lights on the Internet back to back
...played way too many hours of Internet video games
...lied to get out of having dinner with my mom
...had sex - once
...thought seriously about saying fuck-it and just moving away
...had countless impure thoughts about many people - perhaps if I had sex more than once every two seeks......????
...swore I'd never put up another Christmas tree to have to take down
...paid in advance for weekly house keeping service
...watched too many DVDs from Netflix to count
...wanted to cry but couldn't
...wanted to hit someone but didn't
...took great pleasure in saying fuck
...didn't make a single new years resolution
...fell asleep at 10:45 on New Year's Eve
...became hooked on this guys music: Beirut big time
...decided to post on this blog but only when I really feel like it

So there we have my holiday season in a nut shell. Not too bad.

Sending out hugs & lovin,

Pookie

Merry Whatever-you-celebrate

2006-12-24T12:08:00.000-05:00

2006-12-23T06:22:00.000-05:00

The Magic of Christmas

May everyone have a magical little Christmas!

Fond Christmas Memories

2006-12-06T07:54:00.000-05:00

Female Trouble - Dawns Xmas Present

Merry Christmas to one and all.

I've moved...

2006-11-30T09:33:00.000-05:00

And Blogger won't let me post the address???? WTF? Three times I've tried to upload the link. Talk about pissing on your territory. At some point I may share Part II of this blog still on Blogger but for now it's all mine.

http://blog.myspace.com/chappy1965

Cio for now.

Lauderdale in a nut shell

2006-11-01T15:44:00.000-05:00

Babs was amazing. Girlfriend has still got it going on at 64. Her voice is as clear as it was 20 years ago and she looks fabulous. I admit to being a bit hesitant when hearing that Il Divo would be performing with her but they in fact complimented her. It was a brilliant show that I highly recommend to anyone. And like Barbara said to the (asshole Republican) heckler during the political skit -- don't come to the show if you disagree with my politics, just buy my music.

Ft. Lauderdale is really a very pretty place. I was expecting it to be much bigger; over-populated; and dirty like so many other larger cities but found it to be very charming. The shopping at Sawgrass Mills is to die for. Saks, Neimans, and Nordstrom CLEARANCE centers? Who knew such a thing? I managed to do a little damage and for very little money. The best bargains I saw were at Neiman's Last Call; a D&G sweater for $60 and an Armani suit for $280!?! Too bad neither were in my size. I did find a few cool shirts; a Lacoste sweater; and some shorts on clearance so it was all good.

After being gone for 5 nights I am glad to be home. There is nothing like sleeping in my own bed and using my own shower. And seeing my honey after 5 days was awesome. He was so sweet and detailed my car for me while I was gone and had cleaned the house to near perfection. Add to this he had a wonderful dinner cooking by the time I pulled into the driveway. I just love me some T.

Well, I have a little over an hour to grab some coffee for the road and drive across the city for class so I'm outta here. I have an exam the first 1/2 of class so wish me luck.

Huggers!

309

2006-10-27T14:47:00.000-05:00

It should be a while before I see doctor Death
So, it would sure would be nice if I could get my breath
Well, I'm not the cryin', nor the whinin' kind
'til I hear the whistle of the 309, of the 309, of the 309
Put me in my box on the 309

Take me to the depot, put me to bed
Blow an electric fan on my gnarly ol' head
Everybody take a look, see, I'm doin' fine
Then load my box on the 309
On the 309, on the 309
Put me in my box on the 309

Hey, sweet baby, kiss me hard
Draw my bath water, sweep my yard
Give a drink of my wine to my jersey cow
I wouldn't give a hoot-and-nail for my journey now
On the 309, on the 309

I hear the sound of a railroad train
The whistle blows and I'm gone again
Hitman, take me higher than a Georgia pine
Stand back children, it's the 309
It's the 309, it's the 309
Put me in my box on the 309

A chicken in the pot and turkey in the corn
Ain't felt this good since Jubilee morn'
Talk about luck, well, I got mine
Asthma comin' down like the 309
*haaaaaaaa.....*

Write me a letter, sing me a song
Tell me all about it, what I did wrong
Meanwhile, I will be doin' fine
Then load my box on the 309
On the 309, on the 309
Gonna get outta here on the 309

Hey ya'll and all that stuff

2006-10-27T14:15:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting here in a coffee shop over at the beach and there are all these folks from Georgia here for the game tomorrow -- Florida vs. Georgia in Jacksonville for those not in the know.

Anyway, it's been 11 years since I lived in Georgia and seeing so many of these people together in one location is a lot like going back in time. There's this rich, refined southern accent in the air that I'm not used to any more and I've just realized that I sort of miss it. *Sort of* -- Not enough to ever move back but just enough to appreciate my roots. The few people I've talked to have asked me where I'm from and when I reply "Georgia" they act surprised. I guess I've lost my accent and seeing as Floridians don't have an accent to speak of I'm sitting here wondering who do I sound like now?

Oh well, after a few drinks and a couple of hours of chatting with these folks I'm sure I'll pick some of it back for for a while at least.

Sunday we fly down to Ft. Lauderdale to see Babs. We're going to the Monday night show and I'm getting really excited. I forgot to purposely didn't bring a "nice shirt" or slacks so I'm going to have to find some little something to wear to the show. Dammit ;-) I don't do Tommy Bahamas so shopping around here is out of the question. What does one wear to a Barbara Streisand concert I wonder.

Anyhoo, hope everyone has a great weekend and GO GATORS!

Grab a shovel and a Rosary

2006-10-23T05:40:00.000-05:00

The Blog graveyard is filling up and there ain't a damn thing we can do about it. I'd send cyber flowers with a lovely card but that doesn't seem appropriate. When someone makes the decision to axe their blog we have to respect it. We don't have to like it but we gotta respect it.

Sangrocito: Razing Borders and Sangrocito's World: Your adventures and insite inspired and awed me. I wish you the very best from the bottom of my heart.

Soup du Jour of the Day: At least I sleep beside you every night so I know all your secrets. At least I better know all your secrets.

The Dangerous Man and his RL love Danger Mouse: The cutest couple in the UK. I wish you both all the love; joy; and tenderness in the world. May your relationship always be blessed.

Petunia McGillicuddy: Petunia who can turn the world on with her smile, wherever you are I hope you're happy, healthy, and loved.

Gran's on Bran: May life bring you everything rich in love, health, and happiness. You deserve it.

Gay Mad Housewife: You vanished long ago but your sharp-as-a-knife humor lingers forever. Best of luck where ever you are.

ThatMattGuy: Young, cute, smart, funny and MIA. Whatever you're doing I hope it's fun.

Neurotic Gay Teen: Relish in your youth; wisdom; and talents. There are many of us rooting for you. Take care.

Beer Notes: Poetry. Experience. Humor. Passion. It's all being directed to a new life. Thomas, I hope you're well and living large.

Godspeed, Doris

2006-10-23T05:21:00.000-05:00

Parting is such sweet sorrow. An inspiration; humorist; kind-hearted; talented; helluva fine woman has said goodbye to the blogging world. Doris, you'll be sorely missed.

Huggers - Pookie

The Anas Hit the Runway. Literally.

2006-10-08T08:16:00.000-05:00

Black jersey out. Farm animals & household items in.

2006-10-07T16:12:00.000-05:00

Just in time for the Holiday Season, or Christmas for our Religious Right friends, comes the perfect little cocktail dress.

Comfort replaces black as the "must have" in every woman's closet this 2006. You'll be the envy of every women in the room as your sport a pink-dyed, sheepskin A-line dress with a modest hem line. All you'll need is a few strategically placed baubles on this lovely gown by Sonia Rykieland you'll look just like a pink flocked Holiday Tree.

A little more dramatic but equally adaptable is the Dalmation-dander & magnetic feather-duster dress by Norwegian designer Peter Dundas. Hostesses from New York to Topeka will love being able to work the room beautifully and safely dust the furnishings at the same time.

If you've ever caught yourself staring at a lovely silk poinsettia wondering what it would feel like to wear it, then consider this your lucky day. Jean-Charles de Castelbajac unveils an instant holiday classic with his red silk/synthetic poinsettia frock that will take you from the PTA to the company dinner and everywhere in between. Pair with a stunning marshmallow hat (left) and you are guaranteed to be the talk of the town for years to come.

Each of these unique dresses come from the respective designer's ready-to-wear collection and should be arriving at a Sear's or Walmart near you just in time for the Holidays.

"Looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker"

2006-10-07T15:55:00.000-05:00

The verdict is out and the new trend in women's footwear is apparently comfort and practicality.

Paris Fashion Week may have come and gone but it's clear what sensible grandmothers and busy soccer moms will be wearing come Spring.

The email stupidity continues

2006-10-03T05:58:00.000-05:00

Received this email this morning from a long time friend of the family:

[Fwd: Fw: Fw: Christmas Cards]

Great Idea!!!!!

>Christmas Cards !!!>Yes, Christmas cards. This is coming early (really early) so that you can >get ready to include an important address to your list.>>Read on........ Fun with the ACLU...... Wanna have some fun this CHRISTMAS? >Send the ACLU a CHRISTMAS CARD this year at the same time you mail out your >usual Christmas Cards.>>As they are working so very hard to get rid of the CHRISTMAS part of this >holiday, we should all send them a nice, CHRISTIAN, card to brighten up >their dark, sad, little world.>>Make sure it says "Merry Christmas" on it>>Here's the Address, just don't be rude or crude. (It's Not the Christian way, you know!)>>ACLU>125 Broad Street>18th Floor New York, NY 10004>>Two tons of Christmas cards would freeze their operations because they >wouldn't know if any were regular mail containing contributions. So spend >39 cents and tell the ACLU to leave Christmas alone.>Also tell them that there is no such thing as a "Holiday Tree". . . . It's >a Christmas Tree even in the fields!!>And pass this on to your email lists. We really want to communicate with >the ACLU! They really DESERVE us!!

My reply which was sent to everyone who received the original email:

Dear Miss xxxxxx,Thanks so much for forwarding me that hysterical joke. I really needed it this morning. There is nothing like having a good chuckle with my morning coffee to start the day. I’ve seen it a hundred times before but it makes me laugh out loud every time I see or hear it.

But there are a couple of things I noticed that I wanted to point out before you sent it to anyone else:

1) You accidentally sent me the original that you received and not the version that you took a few minutes to you clean up and make legible. While I am able to read through the fragmented sentences; typos; and poorly constructed paragraphs that all run together, the average person isn't. Can you imagine if some mindless person received this in its current state and continued to forward it? Why, that is a joke all in its own! LOL!

2) Also, somewhere during your editing the punch line (along with half of the joke) was left out. Oh My GOD can you imagine if some fool received a copy of the joke without the rest of the joke, reading the punch line and thought you were serious? Too damn funny! Here is my favorite ending to the joke so you can compare it to your own and see which one you like best:

Those wacky Fundamentalist Christians began circulating the ACLU hoax at the tail end of 2005, during the so-called "War on Christmas" controversy over (among other things) some businesses' eschewing use of the phrase "Merry Christmas" in favor of "Happy Holidays" (or some other non-Christmas-specific wording). It resurfaced again in August 2006, well ahead of that year's holiday season. As a call to action, the scheme this joke proposes (i.e., flooding the ACLU with Christmas cards) has several serious flaws:

It is based on the erroneous assumption that the ACLU engaged in litigation and related tactics to pressure businesses and other entities into dropping the use of the word "Christmas" in favor of non-religious references during the holiday season. This was not the case. Some manufacturers and retailers opted in 2005 (and earlier years) to use religiously-neutral wording in describing their goods and services during the holiday season that runs from November to January, but they did so because they felt such a move would appeal to a broader customer base, not because they were urged or pressured into doing so by the ACLU.

The ACLU headquarters on Broad Street in New York is quite well-staffed, and they could easily divert resources to temporary Christmas-card opening duty in the mailroom for a few weeks without "freezing their operations" in the process.

Private, unsolicited contributions sent by U.S. Mail constitute a relatively small portion of the ACLU's operating budget, and most of those are sent through local affiliate offices, not through the main office in New York. Therefore, if a temporary spate of Christmas cards really threatened to interfere with their operations, the Broad Street office could simply throw the cards away unopened without fear that they were losing a significant amount of financial contributions as a result.

Above all, any rational person might consider whether engaging in deliberate deception and attempting to sabotage an organization's operations over a chimera isn't the antithesis of what Christmas (and Christianity itself) is supposed to be about. The truth is that if every stupid person (usually one of those Wacky Fundamentalist Christians) who wasted .37 on a stamp and $2.00 on a Holiday card and sent to the ACLU were to make a donation to a worthwhile charity a whole lot of people could receive assistance with food, clothing, and shelter for the Holiday season.

Of course that would be too simple wouldn’t it? It’s much more fun to be a Wacky Fundamentalist Christian with too much fucking time on their hands than a Rational Person who actually gives a shit about their fellow man. Isn’t it?

Again, Miss xxxxxx, thanks for the joke! It made my day. Oh, in the event I forget to tell you, Seasons Greetings! May the lights of your Holiday Tree shine bright and long!

Regards,

Pookie

Some people are just so damn stupid

2006-10-02T05:17:00.000-05:00

Some Republicans, not all mind you but the most vocal, are so damn naive. Either that or their are just so caught up in their contempt for democracy that they'll believe anything they read or hear without bothering to verify it's accuracy. Over night I've received three separate emails titled Fwd: Fw: Definition Of Rotten. Basically it's a very old urban legend about Hillary Clinton and the Gold Star Mothers. If for some reason you, my sensible reader, should get a copy of this nonsense simply hit the Reply to Everyone (because you know this brand of Republican can only do mass email and spam) so everyone gets your reply. Then include this simple message:

Dear Jane,

I know that you're much too smart a person to knowingly perpetuate falsehoods and propaganda so you may want to look at this: http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/goldstar.asp. Don't feel too bad though as mistakes are made all the time. America did, after all, elect George W. Bush not once but twice as President and we all know what a monumental mistake that has turned out to be. (insert a smiley face emote here for effect)

I just thought you'd like to know the facts before you send out a little "oops, I made a mistake" message. No need to thank me, Jane, it is my pleasure helping you set the facts straight.

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Pookie

My neighborhood in summary

2006-10-01T19:02:00.000-05:00

Little Boxes
by Malvina Reynolds

Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes made of tickytacky
Little boxes on the hillside, little boxes all the same
There's a green one and a pink one and a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses all went to the university
Where they were put in boxes and they came out all the same,
And there's doctors and there's lawyers, and business executives
And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf course and drink their martinis dry,
And they all have pretty children and the children go to school
And the children go to summer camp and then to the university
Where they are put in boxes and they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business and marry and raise a family
In boxes made of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

Pookie, Can you hear me?

2006-09-21T08:04:00.000-05:00

Guess where I'm going to be October 30th? If you guessed the BankAtlantic Center in Ft. Lauderdale at the Barbara Streisand concert you'd be correct. I am pretty psyched about this. I've always been a huge Babs fan and to have the opportunity to see her live is something I've always wanted to do. And having never been to Ft. Lauderdale I'm very much looking forward to spending a couple of days taking in the city.

So how many days to have to lose that extra 10 pounds?

Betty Butterfield - Fox News Anxiety Attack

2006-09-21T07:43:00.000-05:00

Just in time for the Holidays!

2006-09-19T07:28:00.000-05:00

War On Terror the Boardgame

It's got suicide bombers, political kidnaps and intercontinental war. It's got filthy propaganda, rampant paranoia and secret treaties ... ... and the Axis of Evil is a spinner in the middle of the board. You can fight terrorism, you can fund terrorism, you can even be the terrorists. The only thing that matters is global domination - err, liberation. http://www.waronterrortheboardgame.com/

From an email....

2006-09-13T08:41:00.000-05:00

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have

produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to

create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the

body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

(Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body.

The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human

jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts

and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.

In other words, send it to everyone ! (and God love that pig!)

I love today.

2006-09-12T16:00:00.000-05:00

Dear Diary,

A few great things I want to share:

1) I got my hair trimmed and it looks amazing.

2) As of today I have two different opportunities to stick it to ex-friend, crazy bitch PP#1. Both issues are legal, ethical, and moral but will hit her where it hurts -- her purse. Getting involved with zoning issues and easements can be loads of fun!

3) I made a 100% on my first Psychology exam.

4) My new office may be opened as soon as January.

5) I'm going back to my old company for a meeting tomorrow and I am sitting on the other side of the table representing clients.

6) I may be substitute teaching as soon as next week.

7) The finale of Big Brother All Stars is tonight.

8) T and I are going to diner with the old gay men's dinner group.

9) Did I already say that my hair looks damn good?

10) I haven't heard W's loathsome voice on the radio or TV in over 12 hours.

Gotta love it.

And you may call me Little Miss Sunshine

2006-09-05T06:49:00.000-05:00

If you haven't already done so go and see the movie Little Miss Sunshine. Believe the hype; listen to what everyone is saying' and go see it. You'll not regret it. I won't even give a hint of a spoiler but I will say that only 25% of the movie is about child beauty pageants and the rest is about a genuinely fucked up family. I loved every minute of the film but my favorite scenes were from the pageant itself. Olive, played by Abigail Breslin, in a matter of five minutes manages to steal the thunder from every other actor and becomes the ultimate heroine. I promise you'll love this movie.

The other Little Miss Sunshine I'll talk about today is Nancy Grace from CNN. Oh. My. God. I've always gotten some perverse pleasure watching her show (in very small doses) -- it's like watching a train wreck. But in recent weeks this Little Miss Sunshine has turned it up several hundred notches. Hell, she's ripped off the knob to boot. She is more animated and more bitchy than a human being has the right to be. And I can't go a single night without at least seeing her.

Once Nancy gets a hold of an idea or theory she takes it and she chews all of the flavor out of it but somehow keeps it interesting. Imagine if you will finding a piece of old, flavorless chewing gum on your nightstand. Then picture yourself putting it into your mouth and wondering why the Hell you ever took it out of your mouth. Well, that's Nancy. The thing is that she is very, very bright as well as one of the biggest bitches in the public eye and one of the best drama queens ever. I just adore her.

Nancy Grace, you are my Little Miss Sunshine. If I had a diamond(elle) tiara with the words Queen Bitch on it I'd personally crown you myself. You GO Girl.

When I go two months without a post...

2006-09-03T12:41:00.000-05:00

...I have a lot of explaining to do.

OK, so there really is no good explanation for my absence other than being really busy and suffering from a major writers block (you should see all the drafts that I started and never finished). Honestly, the latter prevails but saying that I'm really busy makes me feel better and it's my blog so there ya have it ;-)

Actually, there have been a lot of changes in my life as as late and I'll try to do a catch up for the readers that I have left. Not surprisingly I've lost a bunch since I stopped posting regurlarly on my blog and leaving replies on theirs. Mind you I've never stopped reading all of my favorite peoples blogs I just haven't felt that I've had anything of interest to offer so I didn't say anything. I've shared all the joy, pain, frustration, and ecstasy (you know who you are) but I've done so in silence. Weird? You bet ya.

I guess I'll start with the home front. Everything is status quo. I still have the world's most wonderful partner and I love him more than ever. No, seriously I do. My doggie is still as bizarre and lovable as ever. As a matter of fact he's going through a new "issue" where he doesn't want to go outside AT ALL. And when he does, he prefers to go on a leash -- even in the fenced rear yard. This is the same dog that hates being on a leash. Go figure.

OK , so here's the good part. I'm going to go down the list in no particular order about what's been happening. Even it makes little sense I promise to upload it and you try and decipher it on your own.

* I am still involved with the "new" project from months ago. It's finally making some progress and we hope to have an office open to the public some February. Thus far it's been a whole lot of discussions and meetings so I am more than ready to get this bitch rolling.

* I am officially back in college. I've been planning on this for a few years and it was during this lull between projects that prompted me to just do it. My co-workers, broker, developer all support me in this and are willing to work around my schedule. Support: Now ain't that a sweet change compared to working with the bitch from hell for so long? Anyway, after almost 20 years I am going for the degree I wanted (and was talked out of) way back when: Psychology. Time and transferring from out of state has cost me some credits that I have to make up but in about 3 years I should be working in my field. Keep those fingers crossed. I'm loving being back in school and this time around I'm a helluva lot wiser and a whole lot more mature.

* So we've covered the status of my new project and college but there is more. I find out this week if/when I start substitute teaching. Whoa...........big change, eh? By doing this I'll gain some field experience for my future career as a therapist and put a little bit of change in my pocket. Key note: Little change. Also, my good friend CJ who owns the spray tan place has asked me to help her out one afternoon a week. Free tans and more pocket change? Well, of course. Pookie needs Botox money and he ain't dipping into his investment; vacation; or emergency accounts for that. Besides I can study and use the computer while I'm not working.

* The oldest daughter of my brother who died is getting married today and obviously I am not in attendance. I'm not boycotting or anything as dramatic as all that but I really didn't care to spend $1,500(+) on hotel, travel, and pet boarding to attend a wedding where I won't be noticed. I sent her a lovely card with a nice, fat gift card in it and wish her the very best.

* A few weeks back I found someone new to cut my hair. The guy who was cutting it moved across town and quite frankly I wasn't keen on the drive and the horrendous traffic over there so we parted ways. Anyway, this new girl is funny as hell and did a great job. I got a really short cut this time and my highlights are damn good if I do say. I will be using her from now on.

* A month or so ago I got my bi-annual Botox and this time from a different doctor -- mine couldn't fit me in for 3 months. AS IF. So the new one was good but I felt like a freaking pin cushion she used so many damn shots. (Do I really look that old!?) The day I got it done I was starting a sinus infection which ALWAYS leaves me with a 2-3 day migraine. Well guess what? One of the uses for "medicinal" Botox is to assist with migraines. And it worked. On one side of my head anyway. Usually I can't keep my eyes open when this happens but this time I could peek out of my left eye and watch TV while my right eye was iced down. Coolness. So not only does Botox keep me pretty (ha!) it prevented 1/2 a migraine AND I don't have a single wrinkle. I am SO going back to this new doctor.

* At the request of some friends T and I started attending a weekly dinner with a group of older gay couples. So now every Tuesday we go out with what I call the "old gay men's dinner club" and we are loving it. It has been such a rewarding experience. No drama, no games, just good conversation. We've made some lovely new friends and for once we are always the youngest ones in the group ;-) The other night someone referred to me as "chicken." OMG I could have shed a tear right then and there. (But with the Botox....you know.....KIDDING) Anyway, when we meet them, this coming Tuesday T and I will be celebrating our 16th year as a couple. Damn the time sure flies. It seems like yesterday that I met him and fell head over heels in love. And here we are today. I am a very blessed and lucky guy.

* OK, here's a confession. Since I quit my job I've tried to be a lot more frugal with the money that I'm bringing in. I even let our housekeeper go and have been trying (note: trying) to keep up the house on my own. Oh. My. God. Do I hate cleaning house. I used to love it. But now I 1/2 do it and it shows. My confession is that my house may look and smell clean (I dust and vacuum occasionally) but it's not clean below the surface. And the only reason it smells clean is because I'll pour bleach or Mr. Clean into the sinks, showers, and toilets to make it "smell" like I've been cleaning. I guess that tactic sanitizes to some degree but it's a bonus effect of my deception. Oh, and I'll spray Pledge on the duster thingie and the whole house will smell like I've spent hours polishing. I should be ashamed but I am not. Actually, my little hoax works pretty good so long as I keep the blinds closed and low wattage bulbs in all the lamps.

* My yard looks like shit. All of the beautiful trees I had planted have been devastated by this terrible Florida heat and they look 1/2 dead. All of my flower beds and potted plants ARE dead. I just dumped everything I could pull up or dump out into the trash bin. I am SO over trying to fight this damn heat. Next years it's silk plants in the yard for me. I just won't let anyone get close enough to see the difference.

* Well, I could update you on my current world views and bitch for hours about what a poor state this country is in and how George Bush and ilk continue to fuck up everything they touch. But most everyone is aware of that so I can pass on it for today.

I guess you could say I've ran out of things to say so I'm going to close for now. I do want to thank those who've left comments and/or emailed me to see if I was OK. Know that I will try to do a better job of updating and leaving comments while lurking about your own blogs.

May everyone have a safe and happy Labor Day weekend.

Less is so much more: Part II

2006-07-20T05:40:00.000-05:00

What can I say? There are no words to describe how wrong this is.

Less is so much more.....

2006-07-18T14:41:00.000-05:00

Imagine if you will hearing this first thing in the morning after a night of heavy drinking.

DCCC Ad

2006-07-16T10:50:00.000-05:00

The controversial DCCC ad

I suppose seeing the true face of Repbulican America offends some people.

Top Ten Reasons Gay Marriage Is Wrong

2006-07-16T08:22:00.000-05:00

(Sent to me via email)

Top Ten Reasons Gay Marriage Is Wrong

1. Being gay is not natural. And as you know Americans have always rejected unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because, as you know, a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Makes perfect sense to me. How about you?

Hear Jesus Christ speak!

2006-07-15T07:58:00.000-05:00

Jesus Speaks!

Self-proclaimed "world famous" psychics Gerald A. & Linda J. Polley channel Jesus Christ himself and dicsuss the miracle of life.

Flags, fags, and tags oh my!

2006-07-04T08:38:00.000-05:00

Flags:

So after my last post (rant) I got to thinking about patriotism and the whole flag issue again. Not wanting to come across as just another America-Hater aka Liberal I thought I'd touch on this again. Appropriate seeing as today is officially "Independence Day" don't you think?

Even as a child in first grade I had a bit of a problem with the flag. No, not the actual flag itself as I always thought it was pretty amazing for a country to have it's own flag, but the fact that I was forced to stand and pledge allegiance to this inanimate object. I suppose part of it was my religious upbringing and the biblical teachings, in particular the Ten Commandments, which made me so uncomfortable.

KJV 1611 - Exodus 20: 4: "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: 5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; 6 And showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments." Even at the age of six I knew that the American Flag was made by man and felt that by pledging (praying), or worshiping as I saw it, this flag that I was doing something I shouldn't be doing. Back then and even now to some extent saying a pledge of allegiance to a piece of fabric, no matter how colorful and lovely it may be, was putting it before God. I know many would...have....still will.....argue with me that my feelings are silly and that honoring the flag is simply paying respect to our country and I say let them. But it's not going to change my mind. I had strong convictions as a six year old and I still do at the tender age of forty-one.

Next on the flag is what it's come to represent to me in the past few years. It seems as if the United States Flag has been methodically and deviously hijacked by the Republican Party and the Christian Right. It's become so that unless you are Pro-George W. Bush, Pro-War, Anti-Gay, Pro-Life, and Pro-NRA then there are those who feel that you no longer have the right to posses a United States Flag much less fly one in your front yard. In fact if you disagree with any of the beliefs mentioned above not only should you not be allowed to fly a flag you are a traitor to the United States and an American-Hater. Just ask a rabid Republican or a Fundamentalist Christian and they'll tell you this with much vigor.

We cannot drive down a highway in any city without seeing at least a dozen SUV's covered with "W", "Support Our Troops", and "Pro-Life" stickers on the bumper. Most of which have been cutely fashioned in some form or another with a USA flag. As if supporting George W. Bush and his war or denying a woman the RIGHT to choose is the only way to be a true American. Quite frankly I've come to associate the modern US Flag with a category of people who consider themselves superior and despise freedom for anyone they deem immoral or un-patriotic. As I stated earlier I see the US Flag has having been stolen away from 1/2 of the US citizens and sole ownership claimed by the other 1/2. Due to the intentional and methodical divide in this country politically and religiously I sadly feel as if the flag has lost much of it's honor. I will not worship the flag but I have always respected that it represented the integrity of this United States. The denial of and stripping away of civil rights; the weakening separation of church and state; and the diminishing right to free speech for all Americans has tarnished the flag and the reputation of this country.

Until things make a change for the better and America's politicians and citizens recognize equality and freedoms for everyone then the only US flag I will ever fly or completely respect is the original one back when America was truly a country of freedom and the flag represented equality for all. My opinions are just that -- MY OPINIONS. But they are valid and they do not make me Anti-American or an America-Hater. The only thing I truly hate is what is happening to this great country and democracy as a whole. I just cannot help but think that on July 4th, 1776 that the Founding Fathers of America had something a little different in mind for their country.

May everyone enjoy a safe and happy day regardless of how you choose to spend it --- while you still can.

Blubbering sentiments

2006-07-01T13:11:00.000-05:00

I was looking for a picture of something "4th of July-ish" and came across this one. To me it represents the senseless deaths of those soldiers hoodwinked into serving in Iraq and the death wish for the civil rights of Americans by our current government. Taking into consideration the sad state of affairs in this country there really isn't anything much worth celebrating this 4th of July. Oh, I'm going to some friends for a dinner party and I'm sure we'll see (hear) some fireworks throughout the evening but I wouldn't call it a celebration. Personally I cannot celebrate that thousands of innocent people have died because of self-serving government leaders and at this very moment the intentional divide in this country between it's citizens is growing stronger. Celebrate indeed.

Not a whole hell of a lot going on in my world. A bit of yard work, a few meetings here and there, and some outings with friends pretty much sum up my exciting life. I'm doing OK on the smoking cessation. I'm allowing myself a few ciggies per day down from a pack a day and it's been much easier on me emotionally than cold turkey. The way I see it is that I am still stopping smoking but on my terms and what will likely be the only way I can do it. Wish me luck.

Over the past few days I've made the decision to not attend my niece's wedding in September. How can I be expected to support the union of two people as life partners when I am denied this simple right for myself? In good conscience I just can't continue to sit by any longer and pretend that this is OK with me. It's not. I deserve to have my own monogamous 15+ year relationship recognized as legal and valid just as much as the next person. And a big fuck you to anyone who disagrees.

On a happier note my garden is looking quite lovely. We've had some decent rain in the past week so green is slowly returning to the color palate. The yard crew did a marvelous job this past week and everything is so neat. I'm very happy that we made the decision to turn the upkeep over to the professionals. This has given me the free time to focus on fine tuning the gardens which I have been enjoying very much. Even my roses are looking better!

I'm toying with the idea of setting up a video account for blogging or "vlogging" as it's called. I'm finding it more and more difficult to express what I want to say in writing. And it's become a bit of a chore to actually sit down and write for me lately. Hopefully, in time, this won't be the case. My motivation is slowing returning and I'm adjusting (finally) to the Welbutrin XL. Why can't my Xanax just solve all my woes? It's such a delightful drug, Xanax, and I just wish it did more than alleviate anxiety. Oh well, we can't have everything can we?

So I'm probably going to see The Devil Wears Prada this weekend. From what I've heard it's just fabulous. Meryl Streep is amazing and I cannot wait to see her in this role. I'll try and give a review of it.

Anyhoo, I hope everyone has a safe and happy weekend. I'm slowly making it around to all the blogs and commenting so look for me soon :-)

Huggers!

Pookie

2006-06-30T09:15:00.000-05:00

Toilet Scare

Surprise your friends!

2006-06-30T09:00:00.000-05:00

Sex Education

Vintage film from decades ago.

2006-06-26T07:17:00.000-05:00

walmart

Low class people at Walmart

2006-06-26T07:16:00.000-05:00

Betty Butterfield - Private Thoughts

If it wadn't for all these cats I'd kill myself!

2006-06-26T07:14:00.000-05:00

Betty Butterfield - War in Iraq

Soldiers comes home and they beats their wives

2006-06-26T07:11:00.000-05:00

Betty Butterfield - Death on the Commode

"She squarshed down too hard and her heart stopped..."

the next generation of wedding songs perhaps

2006-06-25T10:46:00.000-05:00

Perhaps this song will replace "Time in a Bottle"?

"My Humps" - The Black Eyed Peas

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ices.
Dolce & Gabbana,Fendi and NaDonna
Karan, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin' fly
But I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't taken
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating.

My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
She's got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What u gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make u scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Let's spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
U can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
In the back and in the front (lumps)
My lovin' got u,
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.
She's got me spendin'.
(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I'ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
What you gon do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off this hump.
What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work.

She's got me spendin'.
Spendin all your money on me and spendin' time on me
She's got me spendin'.
Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.

2006-06-25T10:33:00.000-05:00

Betty Butterfield - Middle Age

Better Living Through Chemistry

2006-06-25T10:29:00.000-05:00

Betty Butterfield - Hormone Therapy

"Well, cause I'm growing hair I've never growed places before."

2006-06-22T09:07:00.000-05:00

MY HUMPS!

This is too damn cute. And that boy in the red shorts is just adorable.

strange lyrics

2006-06-22T07:13:00.000-05:00

Famous Blue Raincoat - Leonard Cohen. If you want to hear a most etheral version of this song check out Judy Collins Sings Leonard Cohen: Democracy .

It's four in the morning, the end of December
I'm writing you now just to see if you're better
New York is cold, but I like where I'm living
There's music on Clinton Street all through the evening.

I hear that you're building your little house deep in the desert
You're living for nothing now, I hope you're keeping some kind of record.

Yes, and Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that you planned to go clear
Did you ever go clear?

Ah, the last time we saw you you looked so much older
Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder
You'd been to the station to meet every train
And you came home without Lili Marlene

And you treated my woman to a flake of your life
And when she came back she was nobody's wife.
Well I see you there with the rose in your teeth
One more thin gypsy thief

Well I see Jane's awake --

She sends her regards.
And what can I tell you my brother, my killer
What can I possibly say?
I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you
I'm glad you stood in my way.

If you ever come by here, for Jane or for me
Your enemy is sleeping, and his woman is free.

Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes
I thought it was there for good so I never tried.

And Jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that you planned to go clear

Sincerely, L. Cohen

2006-06-21T14:15:00.000-05:00

Betty Butterfield Dinner Date

No, I'm not ok....How are you?

V L O G ~ F L U X

2006-06-19T17:10:00.000-05:00

V L O G ~ F L U X

Just call me 432-A

2006-06-07T10:16:00.000-05:00

Guess who spent Sunday & Monday in the hospital? Sunday morning and T and I had just got to the church parking lot when my chest started hurting/tightening/tingling/crushing. Long story short we ended up going to the ER of one of the hospitals. Many EKG's, CS, blood tests, Parenteral Beta-blockers, nitroglycerine patches, and a day & 1/2 later I found It was basically all written off as Arrhythmia and my good fortune to have come in before any damage was done to my heart. Ain't that the shit? Oh, yea it was probably brought on by stress. Imagine that.

So I am on day 3+ of no smoking. I'm now associating cigarettes to spending the night in a hospital and that's made it much easier for me to resist smoking. So far so good. One minute I feel like being a complete bitch and the next I am OK.

Seeing as I was in the hospital on Monday I ended up signing all my paperwork for the new project on Tuesday. Yeah for me. I am officially working again. The first meeting is on the 19th and I'm very much looking forward to it.

I just read where the Senate has once again told Bush & Co. they weren't supporting his little marriage amendment. So basically 49% of those elected "decision makers" have found that there are more important things to worry about gay marriage. Regarding the other 48% I am so fucking sick and tired of these homophobic, small minded, right wing assholes using my relationship to detract attention from THEIR fucking war and how bad their boy has fucked up this country. Truly, if a majority Americans are stupid enough or so weak minded as to elect another radical Republican government in 2008 then I really don't want to live here any more. Let the mindless sheep, the bible thumpers, and the good ole boys have it. I'll take my 2nd class, hell-bound ass somewhere else to live.

Anyway, so that's my update for today. I'm thinking of hitting the movies and need to get showered. Hope everyone has a great day!

Quiet morning

2006-06-04T06:47:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here working on cup number 3 of my coffee and enjoying the silence that is my home this time of day. T and the dog are still sleeping -- big surprise. The dog is getting to be as bad about staying in bed all day as T is! And me? Well, I do good to stay in bed past 6:30am. In fact that is sleeping in for me.

So over the past few days I managed to put some of my pent up boredom to good use and do a mini-makeover in the living room. With T's help I moved my antique piano and a few other of the larger pieces of furniture around. Then I painted one of the walls a deep Sage green (same paint that is in the built in niche area over the fireplace and two other decorative niche areas. It looks really good --- now. When I first did it I had this huge gray-green wall that was the same color as the couch and none of my art "popped" against it. BORING. So this meant that I had to strip the room of all paintings and mirrors and re-hang everything. Even then it was still blaghhhhhh. So off I went to Ross for that sumthin-sumthin that would bring the whole room together. Well, I found a few things and after some whole house switching around got the room looking pretty damn good. Years ago I loved to redecorate and rearrange furniture. But now it's like a chore. Overall I'm pretty pleased. My goal was to make the large open space (kitchen, dining, foyer, living room, halls) feel like a well-defined loft and I believe I've succeeded. Yeah for me!

So we are going back to church again to the local UCC this morning. We went last week and liked it enough to plan another visit. Perhaps this will be our new church home. Who knows. I do like the fact that the doctrine follows very closely my own beliefs and that the minister hits home with his message in under 20 minutes. No long winded sermons at this UCC.

I sign the paperwork for the new project in the morning and that really excites me. In my last post I made it pretty clear how bored and restless I'd become just sitting around doing nothing. For the first week it was awesome but then it started driving me crazy. By noon Monday I will be gainfully employed again and still receiving another 12 checks from the last project. Yippee for me that money isn't going to be too big of an issue while waiting on the new project to get rolling. I made some pretty good investments last year and we typically pay 3-6 months ahead on our major bills (mortgage, insurance, HOA fees, taxes, lawn service, housekeeping etc...) so at least I don't worry about any nasty large bills showing up. The older I get the more I realize that it's not about money -- it's about happiness and satisfaction in what you are doing with yourself. Of course money is necessary for shelter, food, etc... but I have no desire to be rich per se I just want to be happy. Hopefully the new job will fulfill that part of my life.

Also I am going to try and stop smoking in the morning so I have two exciting this happening tomorrow. Mentally I've been building myself up for this and I think I'm ready. We'll see if I can do it.

Following the premise of one of my fave bloggers, Fightin' Mad Mary, I'm going to do a product review (bashing). Today I am going to tell you what I really think about Miracle-Gro Moisture Control Potting Mix. It sucks. I'm one of these consumers willing to spend more for something that promises to deliver. Well this product does not. Not only does it not retain moisture it actually dries out faster than the potting mix from Target for $1.99 per 8lb bag. And my plants did not grow twice as large as promised by the company -- they all died from drying out so quickly. My advice is to save yourself about $6.00 per bag and buy the store brand instead.

That's all folks. Pookie has to get ready for church.

Bungalow fever strikes

2006-06-01T07:56:00.000-05:00

Since May 8th I've basically been unemployed. For those regular readers of my blog you know that this is by my own choice but on the off chance someone new pops by then scroll down and catch up.

While I've enjoyed having the time off I've now reached the point that I am going stir-crazy. One can only see so many movies...watch so many hours of TV...work in the gardens just so long before it comes tedious. Well, I am definitely there. I cannot wait to get back to work.

This coming Monday I will sign all the paper work for the new project and I hope to immediately jump into months of countless meetings, design sessions, and market research. I welcome the challenges and hard work ahead. Hell, I welcome ANYTHING to do! Just to show you how bored I've become I'll share some of my exciting "accomplishments" from the past 3+ weeks:

set up online bill paying and paid one bill
spent countless hours watching the real-time stock ticker from Scott Trade
watched by-the-second as my positions went WAY down and then creeped slowly back up
learned that the guy who does my highlights has moved (WTF?)
realized that since the new haircut I have no highlights and need to find a new hair dresser
did a home facial: Grape seed extract & Tea tree (not all it's cracked up to be)
spent and average of $100 a day at Publix re-stocking the pantry and freezer for 10 years
made at least 25 trips to Lowe's for gardening supplies
smoked 1.5 packs of cigs a day --- knowing that I plan to quit by June 9th
established June 9th as the day to officially give up cigs
made a point to shower before 4pm (anything later would be downright lazy)
changed out my computer key board
cleaned out my office closet
took and had my car washed & detailed
drank coffee with the housekeeper
went out to dinner 15 times with friends
took 30 Xenical capsules to offset high-fat meals
drank lots of coffee
changed light bulbs in most lamps to the new mini-fluorescent bulbs
brushed the dog
took naps with the dog
teased & tormented the dog by taking his toys and running from him
flossed teeth 17 times
changed the ring tone on phone
changed desk-top background on PC --- three times
spent countless hours doing mundane things to pass the time

This morning it hit me that I just can't wait until Monday. Between now and then I am going to work on a new marketing plan and make the list-from-hell of topics for the first team meeting. I just hope that my pent up enthusiasm and energy will convince my new team that I'm completely insane. The truth is that they may be right.

17 New Country and Western Song Titles

2006-05-31T10:24:00.000-05:00

17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All Day Long

15. If I Can't Be Number 1 In Your Life, Then Number 2 On You

14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

12. I Liked You Better Before I Got To Know You So Well

11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Getting Better

10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out O f Prison By Now

6. My wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him

5. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger

4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

3. Her Tooth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure

2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer

And the Number One song is:

1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman, But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few

Anatomy Of A Republican

2006-05-30T20:48:00.000-05:00

As promised...

2006-05-24T17:03:00.000-05:00

Just for shits & giggles I'm going to post the links to video church reviews by Betty Butterfield. Turn up the voulme and enjoy.

Mmmmmmmhelloooo?

Baptists

Presbyterians

Methodists

Pentecostals

Lutherans

Episcopalians

Catholics

UCC

Jehovah Witnesses

Buddhists

The Mosque

Scientologists

Mormons

A new chapter in the Book of Pookie

2006-05-24T05:32:00.000-05:00

It's official -- I accepted the position over at the new project. There will be lots of hard work involved and many hours of research and meetings ahead but it seems like the best fit for me at this place in my life. I'm excited about it but not for the obvious reasons -- like having job security. That's important for sure but for me what's more thrilling it's more like the beginning of a new chapter in the story of my life.

I feel like the way everything has fallen into place with this was the way it was intended to. Along with the bad and the ugliness I'm taking the good and the potential. I'm not closing the last chapter of the Book of Pookie but rather plan to keep it open and refer back to it often as a point of reference.

Naturally I'll have tons of plots and details that I'll share along the way but for now I'm simply going to bask in the peace of mind in knowing that something new and positive is on my horizon.

For my next couple of posts I'm planning to share some things that have amused me and kept me entertained as late. Hopefully they'll bring a bit of dark humor into your day as well.

Hugs & Kisses!

a summ(er)ization

2006-05-23T06:16:00.000-05:00

To elaborate on the events of the past two weeks would take hours -- literally -- and would open up a slew of wounds that have nearly healed. So I'm going to hit the high(and low)lights in bullet fashion:

Monday the 8th:

Packed up my desk and walked away from a project I loved
Went for drinks with Conspiring Co-worker/Friend (CCF) that quite with me & my T
Called another previous co-worker/friend to inquire about her husband's new project
Met friend/ex-hair dresser for dinner at cool new diner/bistro in Historic downtown
Answered countless calls & emails regarding my departure

Tuesday the 9th:

Made appointment about new project
Licked wounds, patted self on back, licked wounds
Avoided calls & emails regarding departure

Wednesday the 10th

First meeting with friend/project coordinator about new development
Spent the day walking around in a daze
Ignored calls & emails from curious people in the industry
Inform housekeeper that we'll likely have to cut back on her services for a while
Consoled crying housekeeper for an hour over shared coffee and Marlboro Lights
Told housekeeper to stay on schedule until further notice
Made promise to meet up with housekeeper (new friend) socially for drinks/coffee/

Thursday the 11th

Drove over to sister's beach place
Went to spa; had facial; got great (uber expensive) haircut
Spent way too much money on new shirt, cologne, sun glasses (therapy)
Went to a local bar; ran into a friend; drank way too many cocktails on empty stomach
Fell face first onto brick steps leading to house and fucked up face
Looked into mirror and realized that all my internal scars were external
Called T and had long overdue emotional (drunken) break down

Friday the 12th:

Woke up looking as bad as I felt -- bruised, battered, miserable
Got email from PP#2 -- very apologetic, flattering, and LONG OVERDUE
Called PP#1 aka CBWS -- now referred to as CFWI (Crazy Friend With Issues)
Made plans to meet CFWI for coffee the next week and settle 6 mo. of bullshit
T, Sister, and dog arrive at beach place

Saturday the 13th:

Return home late afternoon
Spent evening on phone with CCF discussing our plans for the future

Sunday the 14th:

Mother's Day lunch with mom, sister, brother-in-law, & T
Emotional well being back to 100%

Tuesday the 16th:

Positive phone conference with PP#2 - agreed to complete 2 personal projects for him
Lunch with a friend
Productive therapy session at Macy's and Dillard's clearance racks (saved $800)
Met CFWI at Starbuck's for coffee and "The Talk"
Two hours later hugged CFWI good-bye (Yes, we hugged) and left with resolve & peace
Received email requesting 2nd meeting regarding possible new project

Wednesday the 15th:

Organized office, files, closets
successful and super-positive meeting regarding new project

Friday the 19th:

Yard work, played with dog, enjoying feeling 100% back to normal (whatever that is) again
Dinner with friends and then saw The Davinci Code (very well done IMHO)

Saturday the 20th - Monday the 23rd:

Scabs from tripping on brick steps finally fall off -- look human again
Set up 3rd meeting with new project (today at 10:00)
Spent entire day researching college classes
Ordered transcripts from previous college
Bought umbrella for patio table and re-potted all outdoor potted plants
Watched TV, played computer games, organized home office
Fully recovered emotionally to begin making future career decisions
Reaffirmed that leaving the project was the best thing I could have done FOR ME
Decided that this dry, hot, Florida weather is just too fucking miserable
Will develop and set into motion a plan to move to a place more comfortable -- eventually

So that about sums it all up. I'm feeling great and looking forward to the 10:oo project meeting. I have a lot of questions that need to be answered and definite terms written into the contract before I agree to accept the position.

Through all of this I've learned that the deaths of my Chow - Nikki, my aunt, and my brother have made me hypersensative to my environment. I've also learned that I am not going to settle for anything less than what makes me 100% happy. I won't be walking into another situation that isn't completely healthy for my emotional well-being and I am not going to jump into anything without completely (over) analyzing the pros vs. cons. Life is just too damn short.

From here on out I am doing what's best for me. I'll keep you posted.

Hugs & kisses!

Pookie

a teeny, tiny update

2006-05-16T10:05:00.000-05:00

Everything in Pookie's World is moving right along. The low point was hit and I dealt with that. Now things are moving upwards for me emotionally and professionally. I'll post on everything in between once there is resolution on just a few more things. It's been a wild ride but I held on tight.

Sending hugs and blessings to anyone reading this.

PRISON BREAK OUT

2006-05-10T06:54:00.000-05:00

It is so official now I'm a free man! I feel like I've found the elusive key and managed to escape from the prison that has been my personal hell. If you've not read the comments under my last post then I'll give you a quick run down. On Monday I packed up my desk, turned in my keys, and walked away from my current project. What lead up to this was yet another email from PP#1, quite likely the greediest, most self-serving bitch in the whole world, and a former friend. It wasn't anything unusual - the same childish, petty, vicious kind of email that I've received a hundred times before) but it was my reply - and I stated in my reply that was going to be my FINAL reply ever - that set all of this into motion. One day I plan on posting excerpts of the emails as a small cyber pat-on-the-back to myself. I took a firm stand on the side of ethics, morals, and justice and dammit it feels so good I want to see it published for the world to see.

It's no secret that PP#1 (who will now be referred to as CBWS - Crazy Bitch Without Soul) has done everything within her not-so-reliable powers to make my life and the lives of several good people a living hell. But it wasn't just her that made me cross over from the dark to the light side it was discovering that PP#2 (oh yes - the "good" guy -- the same "decent", ""Christian" man who repeatedly assured me and a few others that he would "always be there for us" were ) was the one who sealed the deal for me. His true colors have shined through like red lace panties under a white gauze skirt. And it ain't pretty.

To my face - and in writing - for 2 1/2 years I've been praised and promised the moon by this guy. But when it all comes down to this pillar of the community and someone who I regarded so highly has turned out to be a cowardly user. This is day 3 since I quit and not a single word. No reply to emails and no return phone calls. Through the grapevine (his 2nd in command) I've heard one message and that is that he "really didn't want me to go." Well duh! If you had someone giving you 110% of their loyalty and talents; working their ass off (off the clock) on your personal projects for no charge; and defending you against the Bitch of the Southeast, of course you want them to stick around. Well, Pookie don't play that game anymore.

I thought about it overnight and this morning tossed back to him, via my own messenger, that I would only consider returning under two circumstances. One of them being that I expected him to convince me of why I should stay. The other being that CBWS have no say so or authority over my own position in regards to any and all of my contributions to the project. Furthermore that any compensation to me for my services come from him directly with her making not one red cent off of my work. For him this is a win/win situation but (always a but) for him to do this he will have to be man enough to iron this out with her (ha!) and have the guts to do a face to face with me and explain to me how he ever allowed the situation to get to this point in the first place. Quite frankly I'm not intimidated in the least by this bitch, I pity her, but it's obvious he is. Go figure. He's the one with all the money and I'm just...Well I'm just a regular (albeit fabulous) guy who is not taking their shit anymore.

So here's my favorite part. I win regardless how this all plays out and here's how. It's highly unlikely that either will accept these terms. But there is no way in hell they are going to be able to avoid the conversation about it. The way I have things set in motion she is going to hear it first and her fucking enormous ego and equally large mouth isn't going to let her sit by without calling him. When he hears about it he'll see $$$ signs by not having to pay her her original cut off of me (which is fairly sizable over a couple of years) AND gets stop the madness in his office. Me back. He may be weak when it comes to confrontation with me but he'll do anything to save $ - especially if he is getting a deal - which he would be. So he is going to have to talk to her (logically at first) just to make the problem go away and fix things in his office. Trust me he will see this as an option worth discussing. Even if he won't talk to me he will talk to her as he pays her. And it will not be a pretty conversation I assure you. They WILL fight over this. I win by either returning to something I absolutely enjoy doing and believe in (not going to happen) OR I win by knowing that she is going to go into stark fucking outrage (inevitable) which will force him into battle mode and that will infuriate her all over again. Her mouth is her own worst enemy and my best friend in the scenario. God I am loving this so much. Who knew taking the moral high ground could be so much fun?

That little party aside (chuckle)...I had an appointment this morning for another project (different players all together) which intrigues me. There is a huge amount of profit potential and it's a very cool concept. The meeting went well enough that I was told that I'd make a perfect addition to the group and asked if I "as a formality would like to meet with the developers to see what we can make happen." We're meeting next week.

I'll keep you posted.

Happy Monday!

2006-05-08T06:52:00.000-05:00

Well, it has been an interesting 48 hours. Since Saturday morning I have been in battle once again with PP#1. This time Pookie has shown his hand and is not backing down. Legally PP#1 has every right to fire me as Florida is a "fire at will" state. Meaning even independent contractors auch as myself can be terminated with no stated reason. Period. I fully anticipate receiving notice by the days end.

But Pookie is OK with this. Over the past few months (years) I've accumulated a stack of memos, documents, and emails. I love paper (especially those with signatures, dates, and comments) and instead of hugging trees this liberal saves them. Well, these are going to come in quite handy. By 10:00am I plan to be in the office of an attorney (the meanest SOB in 5 counties) and presenting him with a folder full of evidence that shows Slander, Libel, and Blacklisting that has been used against me. Then yours truly will be sending Fed Ex packages to the DBPR and all governing National, State, and Local offices of my chosen profession. Trust me I don't care to see one thin dime. In fact, I will go so far as to put in writing that I want no compensation or punitive damages and even pay my own legal fees in the event it comes to it. What I want is justice and to have my good name protected.

I have been fucked with one time too many. Someone wanted to play hardball with me and the ball will be served to them in their court (no pun intended) on a silver platter.

Oh, and did I mention that I have a nice little folder for the media as well?

The only thing I want out of this life is to be be treated the way that I have always treated other people. I want to work a job that I love, excel at, and do with high morals and ethics. When someone challenges my RIGHT to this then they will get the fight of their life.

More later kiddies.

random morning madness

2006-05-06T06:30:00.000-05:00

Along with a few bills and advertisements in my mail from yesterday was a rental from Netflix, The Twilight of the Golds.

The Players: Jennifer Beals, Faye Dunaway, Brendan Fraser, Garry Marshall, Jon Tenney

The Plot: "When Suzanne Stein has a genetic analysis done on her unborn child, she discovers that although she has a healthy baby, the child will most likely be born gay, like her brother, David. She must decide whether to keep the child, or to have an abortion. Her family enters a crisis about love and acceptance as she makes this difficult choice."

My Take: The synopsis says it all. This was one of the most disturbing films I've seen in as long as I can remember. It left me sad, numb, and outraged. That said the story, directing, and acting were brilliant I highly recommend it if you're up to the emotional roller coaster you'll find yourself on while watching it.

Today as I took my morning coffee on the back porch a couple of things came to mind:

After bitching yesterday about it being so dry lately it looks like we may get rain. For obvious reasons it would be wonderful for the lawn & flowers. But on a selfish (vengeful) note if it rains a certain (bitch) someone will have spent and lost tens of thousands of dollars on a (self-serving) event that no one will attend. And if it storms again tomorrow the same (bitch) person will be hosting a smaller but equally as (self) important outdoor soiree with guests canceling due to the weather.

I was invited but politely declined. However, if it rains I may just have to make an appearance and spread a little of my own personal sunshine. Sweet Jesus let it pour buckets all weekend.

Then I remembered something I read on an internet site. It was an article showing how easy it would be for a person to really upset another person. Basically it asked how easy it would be to for someone to print out say 500 address labels. And then what if they were to place these labels on those (readily available and accessible) postage-paid subscription cards that fall from magazines. Finally I had to wonder that if these cards were to be mailed how confused and irate someone would be having to cancel all 500 subscriptions. What an ugly thing that would be to have happen.

It's funny the things that can pop into my head while I'm swinging in a swing and drinking coffee.

What happened to the April showers?

2006-05-05T06:40:00.000-05:00

It's gone from warm, breezy days in the 70's to dry, still days in the 90's in a matter of a couple of weeks. It seems like yesterday that my lawn was soft and brilliantly lush. But as of this morning I can hear that "summer is here" crunch beneath my feet when I walk outside. Even the irrigation system is doing little to no good in keeping things healthy. Can I just say that I love the city but hate the weather?

Years ago Florida was known for it's afternoon showers. You could set your watch by the daily 4:00 shower. Now we're lucky to get a rain once a week. The dreaded "D" word is already being used. Drought. I want to live someplace that has normal weather...the kind with four seasons. Here we get a couple of months of cold and then straight into blistering summer.

T and I are giving serious thought to moving from here one day. We like where we are now much better than Atlanta but this is not someplace we care to retire to and live year round. For several months I've been actively looking for an investment/retirement place up north. WAY up north.

Granted we're about 15-20 years off from pulling in our shingles but in order to afford something we are going to have to do it while we're both still working. Well, I found this place. Sounds like paradise to me. Not very realistic being so far away but the price is unbelievable and the attributes are very appealing. For now the search continues and it's fun to plot out a future for when we're active seniors (old lushes) and enjoying our golden years.

OK, the clock tells me I have to be at the office in 45 minutes so I'm off.

Ut imago est animi voltus sic indices oculi

2006-05-04T05:53:00.000-05:00

Cicero (106-43 B.C.) is quoted as saying, "Ut imago est animi voltus sic indices oculi" (The face is a picture of the mind as the eyes are its interpreter).

And the bible, Matthew 6:23, reads "But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!"

More and more I'm starting to believe there is something to this.

Staying on the subject of television....

2006-04-25T10:27:00.000-05:00

I've recently become all kind of hooked on HBO's Big Love. In particular the character of "Nicki" played by Chloe Sevigny is what keeps me watching. This woman is amazing in her ability to play the perfect bitch. The plot, filming, and all of the characters are brilliant but Miss Nicki with her manipulation and conniving has won my heart.

Another show that's caught my interest as late is What About Brian? That hottie Barry Watson is reason enough to watch the show but there is actually some substance to this show. As far as network comedies go this one s potential. It's got sex, innuendo, scandal, and more sex with a comedic undertone. What more could you ask for?

And then there is my all time favorite leading cry baby Jonathan Antin of Blow Out fame. I still compare this show to watching a train wreck. He is just as annoying, egotistical, and maniacal as he was in the first two seasons. And yet I still continue to watch. The only real difference this season is that somehow he (miraculously) produced an offspring with his fiance (beard) which he occasionally comments on. By offspring I mean a real child....not another line of hair product. Though he is adding his another product to his line of must have merchandise in the form of, "Beauty Water", a shower head which filters the tap water before hitting your hair. As for me I'll continue to wash my golden locks with San Pellegrino. Kidding. But back to the kid don't you just know that this child is going to be royally fucked up with Jonathan as a daddy? Well, at least he'll have great hair.

Turn it off? If you insist.

2006-04-25T06:20:00.001-05:00

TV-Turnoff Week 2006
So I've received all the emails from those with good intentions and followed the media hoopla surrounding this campaign and decided to do my part. I can do this - I just know it.

For the entire week I am not going to watch Fox News. OK - so I never watch this mind fuck of a channel in the first place. But I know that there are people who do. That's why I feel it is my duty to encourage anyone capable of thinking for themselves to join me in Turning off Fox News forever.

Don't we see and hear enough bullshit on a daily basis as it is? Do we really need to have it spoon fed to us under the guise of a legitimate news channel? You decide -- if you can that is.

The Sex (and difficult question) MEME

2006-04-23T06:07:00.000-05:00

Borrowed -- OK STOLEN from my blog buddy Cola Boy. This is one that will be easy to say yes or no to and difficult to admit in some cases.

1. How old were you when you knew you were gay?
10 or 11 maybe...

2. Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex?
Yes. I've been with 11 people my entire life and the majority was female

3. Who was the first person you came out to?
Myself. Then to a friend.

4. Are you out to your family?
Most of them. I don't deny it or put on a front to have them believe otherwise. It's my belief that what someone does or doesn't do in their bedroom is only their business. You cannot control who you love.

5. Do you want children?
Sometimes. However, in Florida we couldn't adopt if we wanted to. Better to leave the little tykes in an orphanage than to give them a loving home, eh Mr. Republican?

6. Do you have more gay friends or straight friends?
Locally my closest friends are heterosexual. T & I travel in several social circles and we have friends from every walk of life.

7. Were you out in school?
For the most part in college. In High School no.

8. Is your best friend the same sex as you?
I have several people I consider my best friends but my partner is a male and my very best friend so yes.

9. If your best friend is the same sex, have you ever had sex with them?
Hell yea! Every chance T is up for the occasion --- no pun intended.

10. Have you ever done crystal meth?
And coke...and MDA...and ecstasy...and acid....you name it I have probably tried it when I was much younger. Thank God I grew up and lived to tell about it.

11. Have you ever been in a sling?
Nope. But recently I've been thinking of getting a hammock and a mechanics creeper. You do the math...

12. Have you ever done a 3-way?
Yes. And hated it. I'm admittedly selfish and do not like to share. For each his own though so long as it's between consenting adults; they are safe; and no one gets hurt.

13. Have you ever dressed in drag?
For Halloween. I went as a best friend's Grandmother one year and as an obnoxious Christian Bible-thumper on another year.

13. Would you date a drag queen?
I've never been in a situation to make the call. I doubt it though.

14. Are you a top/bottom or truly versatile?
Shit it's been so long I forgot....Versatile I suppose.

15. Have you seen an uncircumcised penis?
Only in the pictures.

16. Have you had sex with someone of a different ethnicity?
I can't say that I have. If I were single I wouldn't rule it out for sure but before meeting T the occasion never arose. No pun intended.

17. Have you ever barebacked?
I love barebacking so much I wrote an entire essay about it: Barebacking 101. Seriously, I've been in a very monogamous relationship for 15 years. Nothing comes between me and my man.

18. How many Cher CDs do you own?
One. I bought it right after seeing Cher's (999th) farewell tour.

19. Name of your first love?
Where to begin. Once upon a time I was in love with a girl named Paula. She broke my heart. Before her I was in love with an alcoholic, abusive son-of-a-bitch named Jimmy. I truly believe that life throws us curves so we can eventually become who we are supposed to be. And be with.
20. Do you still talk to them?
Nope. I have no idea where she is and the last time I talked to him he was still a drunk. I do wish them both all the best in the world though....

21. Does size matter?
Remember that when purchasing furniture one needs to be mindful of scale for a truly functional and beautiful room. Oh, I bet this means something else....I can honestly say that I've personally never had any complaints and for the past 15 years haven't had to dish any out.

22. Biggest turn on?
Everything about T turns me on. His scent...little sounds...motions. I particularly am turned on by his arms and his perfect ass.

23. Biggest turn off?
Hell, the wind blows the right way and I get a woody. Regarding my man there really isn't anything that comes to mind.

24. Ever been harassed due to you orientation?
I've never been bashed or anything and I can't remember anyone screaming anything crude at me. I guess I've always surrounded myself with liberal thinking people. If I was harassed I didn't realize it. I know gay harassment exists and I would pity the person who tries that shit on me.

25. Worst gay stereotype that applies to you?
I get my hair highlighted. Of course that's fast becoming a norm with heterosexual men as well so....

26. Ever been to a pride rally?
Yep. It was in Atlanta and I ran into a GORGEOUS hunk of a man who I "almost" dated --- until I made out with him. He kept his eyes open the entire time and had a crazy look about him and that was a major turn off.

27. Would you marry if you could?
Perhaps. Mainly for the economic and logistic side of it. I'm committed...T's committed...and I don't need a piece of paper to convince me of this. Again, for each his own.

28. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?
Well, if you are "rich" and smart there are procedures to keep you looking young and beautiful. So I choose the former of the two.

29. Do you sculpt your eyebrows?
I do tweeze and trim them to keep them looking neat. But I have never had them waxed.

30. Do you trim your body hair?
Regularly. The clippers know my body almost as well as T does.

31. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day?
See #12.

32. Ever been to an orgy?
Nope. Not my cup of tea. But for those who are consenting adults, inclined, and practice safe sex then have at it.

33. Have you dated your best friends ex?
Nope.

34. Would you vote for Hillary Clinton if she ran for president?
If she were the best Democratic candidate running I would.

35. Do you want monogamy in your relationships?
I demand monogamy. It is in fact the basis of my relationship. I just cannot imagine being with anyone other than T.

36. Do you believe in true love?
Absolutely.

37. Do you have any tattoos?
No, but I would like to get one on my ankle.

38. Do you have any piercings?
Both ears are/were pierced. It's been years since I've worn a ring though.

39. Would you date a smoker?
Seeing as I smoke it's a given. T has basically stopped smoking and I am planning to stop by my birthday.

40. Do you get HIV tests every 6 months?
Not anymore. 15 monogamous years with the same person pretty much eliminates the need.

41. Do you know anyone who has died from H.I.V.?
Sadly yes. In my close circles of friends there hasn't been anyone but through the six degrees of separation I know many.

42. Do you know what Stonewall was?
I do. I also had the pleasure of knowing Jack Nichols, a pioneer in the Gay Rights movement, via interviews and many lengthy phone conversations. He was a lovely person with vision, drive, and a heart of gold.

43. Strangest place you have had sex?
In a treehouse located in a park beside a town home T and I lived in for a while. That was back in the wild days -- see #10.

44. Strangest place you've woken up?
On the floor?

45. Are your best years behind or in front of you?
Every day is a gift. I can only hope and pray that there are many more years ahead.

46. Favorite porn movie?
I can only remember the name of one - Two Fistfuls.

47. There was no #47! Guess that's what happens when you steal a MEME.

48. Are you in love now?
Head over heels.

49. Ever been in love with a straight guy/girl?
Yes. See #19.

50. Did you ever have sex with them?
Yes. See #19.

51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
Yes. But it was more of a topless beach and I was a child.

52. Have you ever been to a bath house?
I've been inside a bar that at one time was a bath-house but I've never been a "guest" of an active one. That said I do have a huge shower in my bathroom with a tile bench....

53. Ever had sex in public?
Does #43 count? It was 4:00 in the morning but someone did walk by and see us.

54. Have you ever gotten into a relationship for Money or Security, instead of Love and Friendship?
No.

55. Have you ever stayed in a relationship for Money or Security, instead of Love and Friendship?
Possibly. I stayed in an abusive relationship because I was young and didn't want to move back home. I suppose being knocked around was better than not having my own place at the time.

56. Have you ever keyed someone's car?
No but I was with a group of friends on a night out and one guy, the last person in the world you'd expect, did. I cussed his ass out up and down for doing it.

57. Have you ever fantasized killing someone not famous?
Nope. I've wanted to slap the shit of a few people (and have) but that's about as harsh as it gets.

58. Have you ever witnessed someone dying?
My father and my brother during the saying process.

59. Have you ever contemplated suicide?
Yes. Years ago I let depression get the better of me and came very close to pulling the trigger. Thank God I had the good sense to call my shrink at the time.

60. Are you glad you're still here?
Well, Hell yes! Like I said, every day is a gift. Life is one big adventure and from the bad times and good times alike we grow into who we are supposed to be. I have a lot of growing up to do yet.

And now, any of you readers are welcome to copy (STEAL -- like I did) and fill this MEME out.

Home sweet home

2006-04-21T06:38:00.000-05:00

OK - so it's been a month since I've posted an update. The only excuse I have is that I've been super busy and there hasn't been anything earth-shattering to report. Work is good - my team is being left alone by PP#1 - and we're in full swing for the spring season. Life in the office has been pretty sweet actually.

I've been spending a lot of time working in the yard and around the house in general. Two days went to organizing my dresser and part of my closet. I still have a good day straightening out hanging clothes and removing coat hangers by the hundreds. Those things really must breed! And I broke down and bought a new dishwasher because I hated the one that I picked out when we built.

For two weeks T had a terrible bacterial-sinus infection thing that he brought back from a trip to West Virginia. About the time he started feeling better I caught it and am just now starting to feel human again. Thank God for anti-biotics and orange juice! At the peak of my misery I actually wrote T a thank you note for the "lovely gift" he gave me. It was my little way of making him feel guilty and it worked. And it was quite funny... During this week of hell we had company from Atlanta visiting. My old friend and her husband and 1 y.o. boy came for the weekend and it was really nice. They came down to tour the University Law School and the hubby decided after 1 day that this was where he'd get his law degree. The best part is that they are renting a house in my neighborhood for 3 years. It will be great to have my girlfriend and her family so close by.

On Easter Sunday I actually hid plastic eggs in the yard and had T look for them. I know...I know...It's stupid but it was fun. He just never knows what to expect from me. It was really cute and I took pictures of him walking around the back yard with his basket. Of course I've been forbidden from sharing these but trust me...They are cute.

During the whole funeral trip time I basically ignored my investment accounts. Imagine my surprise when one of my stocks, NABI, I'd bought 6 months ago at $3.06 (down from $23 after a failed FDA trial phase) started making a profit. Overall I'm up an average 42% in my portfolio and am on the hunt for another good Biotech stock which has taken a big hit.

One of office mates, CW#2, just returned from a week cruise on Celebrity and now I'm getting the bug again....Big time. What I'd give to be on a ship right this minute drinking my coffee on the balcony looking at the blue seas....The destination really doesn't matter - I just want to be cruising! I'm feeling a visit to the Royal Caribbean web site coming on....

Well, I have exactly 40 minutes before I need to be in the office and I better get running. It's going to take me 30 minutes just to decide what to wear!

Hope everyone has a wonderful day and I'll be hitting your blogs from the office.

Huggers!

Pookie

Spring has arrived

2006-03-19T07:32:00.000-05:00

I couldn't believe how long has passed since I last posted. In short everything has been going well for the past two weeks but I've thrown myself into many projects at work and at home which have kept me quite busy.

So far things in the office are moving along at a calm pace. No interference from #2 PP has made working there enjoyable once again. So far my other two team members have decided to stay and I have made a firm commitment to #1 PP that I would stay on until the project was completed out. Being in the office has actually been a joy once again.

Since my brothers passing things on the home front have returned to normal as well. My mom and sister still have their moments when the last of the sympathy cards come in but overall they are doing great. My mom has her close friends here who keep her busy and like myself she has taken on the task of preparing our back yards for the new season.

Mom and I both decided to have trees installed in memory of those who've recently passed. From death comes new life is our motto. It's been bittersweet watching as trees & shrubs are delivered and our respective gardens fall into place.

Until yesterday my own back yard has looked like a neglected and unused park. The waist high pockets of weeds and strewn fallen limbs are now gone. The patio has been blown off and all of the roses, shrubs, trees, and remaining flower beds have been pruned & fertilized. And 40 pounds of fertilizer has been put out on the lawn. It actually is starting to look pretty good back there. I told T yesterday that I wasn't afraid to walk back there now.

On Friday we went to Lowe's and picked up 10 bags of pine bark to replenish the beds and pathways. So far we've put three out and the seven in the back of my car has it smelling like a forest. I almost hate to take them out. There is something so earthy and alive about the smell of pine bark. But I cannot drive around with this forever so this morning (when T FINALLY gets up) we are going to finish the job.

There are still so many things left to do but I've enjoyed it and the end result is worthy all of the sweat and sore muscles in the long run. Hell, just being able to walk back there makes it all worth it.

OK, so there was one glitch in my weekend project and that would be the Red-Belly Black Snake that I had a run in with yesterday. I despise snakes. The only thing snake is good for is when they are turned into a belt or pair of shoes. And I am not in the business of making either. Needless to say Mr. Snake and Mr. Shovel went to battle and Mr. Shovel won. RIP, Mr. Snake.

I have another interesting bit of news to share but first a little history. My mother, bless her heart, at 5'7 can't weigh more than 107 pounds soaking wet. Sadly I did not inherit her metabolism. During times of stress she loses her appetite and simply doesn't eat like she should. Well, this worries not just me but her doctor as well. So I've made a deal with my mother. If she will gain at least 5 pounds by my birthday in June I will stop smoking. This is going to take a lot of work on both our parts as she is going to have to force herself to eat and take supplements and I am going to have deal with giving up a nasty habit I've had for 25 years. God help us both! I really would like to quit smoking and now I have the motivation I've been looking for. Wish us both luck. We have a long 3 months ahead of us.

Well, I am going to close with letting everyone know that I'll be dropping by your blogs in the morning. I can't wait to see what everyone has been up to and naturally will have something profound to add in your comment sections.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday!

JEANNE D'AMICO

2006-03-15T14:43:00.000-05:00

JEANNE D'AMICO

The New Living Will

2006-03-11T08:07:00.000-05:00

I received this New Living Will from my friendly CPA. It's one of those topics that none of us wants to think about, but probably needs to look atand discuss with loved ones...soon.

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______a Bloody Mary
______a Margarita
______a Scotch on the rocks
______a Martini
______a Vodka and Tonic
______a Steak
______Lobster
______the remote control
______a Bowl of ice cream
______a Southern Living Magazine
______my hair product
______Chocolate
______Sex

it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Signature: ___________________________

Date: ___________________________

There's no place like home

2006-03-09T06:52:00.000-05:00

The last few weeks has been a frenzy of emotions, turmoil, and travel. As I unpacked one of my two bags I could only stop for a second and say a quick prayer that I wouldn't be using it again any time soon. The other bag, a hanging one, can just wait. At least my toiletries are back in "their drawer" and today I can shower & start my day in my own bathroom!

I don't know how deep I feel like getting into the whole emotional aspect of everything but I am going to touch on a couple of things that I walk away from this whole experience feeling good about: my nieces and my nephew. What wonderful adults they've grown in to over the years!

My nephew, N, is going on the 9th or 10th anniversary of his 25th birthday :-) and has grown into a wise, funny, and compassionate, handsome young man. It's been at least a year since I've seen him and 4-5 years since I've had the opportunity to spend any quality time with him and his partner, T2 (we each have our own wonderful T's), of 6 years. And, yes, he is also gay so I guess there is something to that genetics theory after all.

My oldest niece, A1, is getting married in September to a wonderful guy, G, who is as cute as he is sweet. A1 has grown into a hilarious & beautiful young woman with fire in her eyes and wit forever at the tip of her tongue. I look forward to her wedding day and seeing this little vixen walking down the isle to her soul mate.

The youngest niece, A2 (they both have names beginning with A), is in her own right a brilliant and sweet girl/woman. Did I mention she is also gorgeous? Not in the "I spend 3 hours getting ready in the morning gorgeous" but naturally. I hope that when the time is right that she finds a life partner who is as well suited for her as her brother and sister has.

It was good for me to have the time alone in the hotel every evening and most of the day on Monday. I had the time to reflect on the losses of family members and the renewed relationships with my brother's family. I also took one afternoon and went shopping, to a movie, and out to a very good dinner. And I read two books. Now, my T doesn't do well being alone. Even if for a day he is in the house alone he gets anxious and lonely. Granted I don't even have to be in the same room with him to ease these feelings but just being in the same house is enough for him. But I actually like/need some time to myself sometimes. Solitude can be a good thing occasionally.

Anyway, I'm finishing this post back in the office. I started it this morning and then looked at the clock which proclaimed that it was time for me to get my ass ready for work and had to save it for later.

And this brings me to work. I'm happy to report that #1 CW is staying! She told me on Monday that she was going to quit and when I talked to her on Tuesday she'd done a lot of soul searching and decided that #2 PP was not going to run her off. A big YOU GO GIRL to her. At this point none of us involved with this project are allowing #2 PP to have any influence over us again. That bitch has ran her last course of interfering with our lives. #1 PP apparently let her ass have it and in summary told her that his team would not be broken by her or anyone else. She was told to back off and have little or no contact with us. To follow up with this I am going to call the bitch and tell her that I am done with her on a personal and professional level. She has lost all respect I ever had for her and that I don't want her to so much as utter my name. She has lost that right.

Furthermore, if I so much as hear she has said one negative thing about me or anyone involved with this project (and trust me if she does I will hear it) then I will do everything in my power to see that #1 PP pulls this and all future projects from here. Add to this I will never ever defend her personally or professionally again. She is dead to me and this is a good thing. I don't need the theatrics or drama from a delusional egomaniac interfering in my life. I have Bold & The Beautiful for that if I want a soap opera! And Susan Flannery is far more glamourous a bitch than #2 PP. Trust me.

Well dears, I am going to close with my thanks and appreciation for the kind comments, emails, and prayers during this time. It really means more than you know.

For my next post I will be sharing my recount of "Star: US Airways Super Stewardess" -- OH MY GOD.

Hugs & kisses!

One more time

2006-03-03T20:39:00.000-05:00

I'm flying out at 7:00 in the morning for Atlanta. My brother passed away peacefully at home this morning. He didn't make it to the Hospice facility like he'd hoped but my sister-in-law said that she'd rather have had him die at home - around loved ones - as opposed to dying in a hospital or in an ambulance. His journey for this life is over and he begins a new one free from the worry of illness or suffering. For that I am grateful.

I knew in my heart that I'd get "the call" so I skipped the damned awards breakfast. I didn't want to go anyway so at least I avoided having to sit through 2 hours of bullshit ; fake smiles; and pretend-praise by PP #2 about people they really don't give a shit about. I am so over this person -- my once friend. Where a week ago I was hurt and betrayed by all that I has transpired all I have now is a void and sheer pity for a person who could be so calculating and rotten. My T summed it all up the other night in saying that for too many years I've covered for and stood up for PP #2 when it was never deserved. I will pray for this person to find some inner peace with themself but the friendship is gone.

A lot of crap went on last night and before the meeting even started which ended up with both of my office mates (friends) making it pretty clear that they are leaving. One, my sweet and loyal team mate for over 2 years, is definitely taking another job offer. An interesting turn is that I've been offered a position with this company as well. Here's a kicker -- I'm thinking about it. But not until I get past the funeral & grieving process. As for my other friend/co-worker she has already contacted a third company and is 75% sure she is going to quit as well.

All this said #1 PP came by and is livid at what #2 PP has caused. Not too sure where all this is going to end up. But after talking one on one with and listening to PP #1 I know that I am very valued......appreciated...and cared for in and out of the office. He has been so very kind about the whole death of my aunt and now with my brother that I feel ashamed for even doubting his sincererity towards me for a second. And I told him as much. He is a good man and I'm honored to work with him. This is the one thing that might keep me where I am career wise.

Oh well. I've vented out the work shit and now I am letting it all go for a few days. I have to mourn a loss and celebrate a life at the same time of someone who I share blood with but never really knew..... It's going to be very weird.

So I'm up at 5:00 AM and that means I need to get off the computer and get ready for an early turn in. For those of ya'll who are praying folks feel free to send some the way of my family. Especially my mom. She is going to be burying her eldest child and I'm afraid it's going to kill her as well. And if you're not into prayer then warm wishes for peace and comfort would be greatly appreciated as well. I'm going to be OK. I'm a bit numb from everything that's been happening but I'm surrounding myself with positive energy and will share as much of it as I can with anyone who needs it.

I'm not taking a lap top with me to the hotel (yes hotel -- and this a sore note with my sister -- but I decided that I wanted/needed my own space this go around) so it's unlikely I'll have online access. So until Wednesday I'm outta here.

Hugs & kisses.

Pookie

Hospice opens their doors

2006-03-01T07:46:00.000-05:00

4:30 Afternoon Update:

It has been a totally wild day. My sister-in-law told the Hospice people that my brother struggled to get to the bathroom this morning and they promptly denied him a bed in their facility. Because? Well, because he was able to get out of the bed -- even with the help of his wife and grown son. He must be completely immobile for them admit him. Red tape just sucks. Now everyone is worrying he'll pass away at home in his sleep which is what he absolutely doesn't want to happen.

Guess who called me today? #2 PP. It was a very brief and very to the point conversation totally work related and it was all I could do to keep from laughing knowing that retribution was in route. At least I had this to smile about if only to myself. So the nature of this call was to let us (the office) know that we are expected to buy a $100 gift certificate for a door prize for an awards ceremony that WE are all receiving awards at. OK -- so we are the recipients of our own donated gifts? Well, how fucking cheap is that? The unadulterated nerve.

All Hell broke loose about 3o minutes before I left the office. A superintendent cussed out an appraiser who promptly cursed him out and then came in and blessed out our office. Well not everyone -- she likes me for some reason. She was very nice to me. I guess her gaydar went off and she knew I would say something witty and tell her how fabulous her Chanel sunglasses looked on her (which I did). I admire her for sticking to her guns and not allowing a man to boss her around. I like her so much I asked for her business cards and plan to give them to select people in my company that do only top dollar sales. She will get herself some good business leads and keep herself in Chanel glasses for years to come I hope.

The worst of my day was finding out that my sweet aunt who just passed away did not indeed die from a heart attack -- she bled to death in her kitchen. I don't know the exact circumstances but it was mistakenly told to me by another relative that she accidentally took a nasty arterial cut and due to her blood thinners literally bled to death in a matter of minutes. This just makes me sick. On the one hand I am still relieved that she died quickly and at home. She never was admitted to a nursing home or long term care which was her worse fear. On the other hand I am sick to the heart that this precious lady bled to death. Apparently no one but the family medical community (where is how I heard this) and her immediate family knows this. It's not my place to tell anyone -- honoring what I assume is their wishes -- but now I have this horrid image in my mind and can't share it with anyone.

If my T really, really loves me he'll take me out to dinner tonight or order in. The maid came today (who I'm insanely wild about) and I cannot bare to see the kitchen messed up. Everything shines..Is in it's place...and I don't want to ruin the moment.

Now for the good news -- OK -- a diversion from all my drama actually -- Hairdom's cry baby extraordinaire, Jonathan Antin, is coming back for a 3rd season. Oh. My. God. When we last saw Jonathan he announced that he'd fathered a child with his live-in girlfriend of the moment. Yes, Jonathan is all heterosexual/metrosexual manly man. I'm guessing that season 3 will be all about designer diapers & crying contests between he and the new addition to his Hollywood home. I cannot wait. As much as I bitch about Jonathan Antin I never miss a Blowout episode. It's like watching a car wreck. Better yet a really bad hair wreck. It starts on Wednesday, March 15th on Bravo. Do a search within my blog for all my past Jonathan rants.

***********************************************************************************
So last night I took my mom out to our favorite Mexican place and on the way back my sister calls. For the past 2 days my brother has slept at least 15 hours of the day and taken in nothing but a sip of water. His in-home nurse has told his wife that the time has come. He's not speaking now but will still nod or so I'm told. The nurse started the paperwork to get him into a Hospice unit in a near by hospital. He told his wife on Saturday that he didn't want to die at home and that a hospital bed at home was not going to happen. So this morning or later today they are moving him out of his house. This is his last journey and I hope it's a peaceful one.

The hardest part of this has been watching my sister and mom fall apart. My sister more so than my mom which is strange. My mother is a tiny little woman with a steel attitude for facing obstacles. She has her moments where she falls apart but I'm able to talk her through them and keep her going. My sister on the other hand is taking all of this extremely hard and I'm not sure if I'm any help to her during this or not. She said yesterday that she just wants it to be over. I agree. I believe the dying process is far worse than the actual death for the living survivors.

I can't thank everyone who has left comments and emailed kind remarks. I truly mean it when I say that if I could jump through the screen and hug your necks that I would. You are the best.

Side note: Your Pookie has taken a bit of revenge on #2 PP. Nothing too evil or malicious rather something entirely legal and ethical from a professional stand point. I can't elaborate yet but let's just say that I've planted a very large seed in a small pot. When the seed grows, and it will definitely grow, someone is going to account for their own actions whether they like it or not. Only two people in the world know exactly what I'm talking about and one of them called me last night and told me that I was their hero. Awwwwwww shucks. I feel all warm, fuzzy, and vindicated now. Truth be known I feel alot like Norma Rae at this moment. More on this later.

I'm still alive...but barely

2006-02-28T07:22:00.000-05:00

It's been a really weird two weeks. Trying to keep this brief but cover everything that's been going on I'm going to hit the highlights of recent events starting backwards.

The Cold

Everyone in my office and all my friends and family have been walking around sick. Par for course they won in the end and gave it to me. Thanks guys. For three days I've felt like shit. Back in October I got the flu shot so I've not developed the full fledged version of this crap but I got something and it's not pretty. I fell somewhat better today but far from being 100%.

The Cancer

My brother in Atlanta isn't doing well at all. In fact he's getting much worse. It's past the point of treating his cancer it's a matted of keeping him as close to pain free as they can without killing him with Morphine. He's very fortunate to have Hospice coming to the house to control his medications but he's reached the point that he so much as said that he doesn't want to die at home. I feel it's a matter of days before he makes the decision to check into a Hospice facility. He really doesn't want his wife to have deal with him dying at home and the horrible stigma their house will have for her. All I can do is pray that his suffering ends sooner than later. He isn't going to get any better and at this point he has no quality of life. I've never been extremely close to him as he was grown and out of the house by the time I was born but it's hard watching my sister and mom have to watch this happening.

While I was away

Apparently PP #2 was a real bitch to my peers and coworkers. In her true fashion she opened her damn mouth and poison poured out. Both of the women I work with came close to telling her to fuck off and quitting on the spot. I'm flattered that they jumped to my defense when the crazed PP #2 questioned whether or not someone had actually died and if I was even at a funeral. The upside to this is that before I left I called PP #1 and told him of aunts passing. He told me to go. I was needed up there more than down here and that nothing was more important than family. I just love this guy. He said he'd deal with PP #2 and deal with her he did. I suppose he got wind of her latest vicious attacks on my team and let her have it. She is no longer attending our bi-weekly meetings and is to have no contact with us unless she can "control her mouth" -- I love it! She stands to lose millions of $ if she pisses off PP #1 and he walks so I have a feeling she'll obey his (our) wishes for a while at least.

The Funeral

On the 10th I rode up to Atlanta with my mom & sister for my Baba's funeral. Not to sound weird but it was an uplifting experience for me. In the case of her passing it was more of a celebration of life as opposed to a sad occasion. She was likely the only true Christian that I've ever known. She literally lived to die. Her entire life was dedicated to her faith; loving people from every walk of life; sharing her wisdom and blessings; and eventually accepting the reward that the Big Guy had in store for her when her life on earth was over. She died at home and apparently in a matter of seconds. For the family it is hard letting her go but knowing she is now in a place of eternal joy (which she deserves) makes it easy for me to let go. While up there I was able to see many relatives and acquaintances that I'd not seen in a decade or more. It was nice seeing everyone and reliving the past a bit but I was glad to get home. I flew back in on then 12th and was back to work on the 13th.

The Cruise

It was wonderful. Great food & libations. Beautiful weather and people abound. My new favorite place in the world is Marigot Bay, St. Maarteen. It's the French side of the island and it is a place I could move to and live out my days a happy man. The only downside is that there are few if any hand rails on the shops entrances and being the klutz I am I took a nasty fall on some marble exterior stairs. I didn't actually hit the ground but I did twist the same ankle and land on the same foot that was broke/shattered about 13 years ago. Needless to say it still hurts. I didn't need crutches or anything -- just plenty of Pina Coladas to dull the pain. Eventually I'll have to have this foot/ankle operated on but no time soon. I'm putting that off as long as possible.

During the week I met some very interesting people and spent until 3:45 one morning drinking and sharing tales with Bowser from Sha Na Na. After seeing his show I was convinced this man was another cheesy has-been entertainer but meeting him later on and getting to know him changed my mind completely. He is hysterical! One of the most sarcastic, bitchy, brilliantly dry humored people I've ever met. Sans the hangover the next day it was one of the best times had on the cruise. Also, that same night, I met the owner of the spas on the Royal Caribbean line ships. Having this guy around was like being in a gay bar with the stereotypical drunken drama queen who shares WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION and passes out unsolicited advice to ANYONE who will listen. We all had a good laugh avoiding him and enduring him while he was around. A relatively nice guy but only in small doses.

So that about sums up my life over the past 3 weeks. Me and my cold are off to work in an hour. I'm finalizing the plans & design for PP #1's new office and meeting with the architect today to implement MY changes. I love it. This is truly a project I will put into my portfolio should I ever decide to jump back into full-time design again. If I do say so myself it is going to be a fabulous building. (Pats self on back)

I hope to be able to catch up on what's happening in your lives later today.

Have a great day.

Off again

2006-02-13T07:23:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately I'm going to have to postpone my review/recap of the cruise for a few days. Yesterday, when we arrived back at port, I received a message on my cell phone telling me that my favorite aunt, a precious little lady, had passed away the previous day. Baba was 93 years old and had one of the youngest, brightest spirits of anyone I've ever known. She passed at home and suddenly which exactly as she said she'd always prayed for. Obviously, in her case, God was listening.

In all likelihood I am heading up to Atlanta in the morning and back on Wednesday after the service. Seeing as #2 PP has absolutely no regard for her own family, much less anyone else's, I'm not even going to bother telling her I'm going. As soon as she popped off something smart I'd probably slap the shit out of her.

Anyway, I will keep you posted and hopefully be sharing my tales & observations from the sea shortly.

Last day at sea

2006-02-11T07:26:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I return home and I am ready. It's been a very fun week but it's time to get back into my routine. Too much rich food (yesterday for lunch I ate plain rice & fresh steamed broccoli) and way too many cocktails (Thursday night I got back to the cabin at 3:30 am!) so home and domestic bliss is looking real good.

I'll post the highlights when I get back. You can look forward to reading about my winning in the casino twice; getting drunk with several "C" celebrities; the sad lady in the red dress at the piano bar; my new Versace sweater (deep discount of course); "Johnny Rockets Boy" from Romania who makes me feel sexy; and how my mother still thinks of my sister and I as children. ISSUES!

The cabin internet connection has been hit or miss all week -- VERY slow at best -- so I'm looking forward to reading all my fave blogs (hearing Jay's first audio post!) and leaving profound and witty comments for everyone.

Hugs & Kisses!

Pookie-at-Sea

Bon Voyage, Pookie

2006-02-04T07:08:00.000-05:00

This time tomorrow I'll be about an hour away from Port Canaveral and boarding this lovely ship for my cruise. If I'm not mistaken my cabin is 3 rows up and directly above the third life boat on the left. If you fast forward time and look real close you can almost see me standing on my balcony (with an overpriced but yummy drink in hand) waving to you. The way the balconies are situated I may very well be butt naked so if you look close enough you may be privy to a real treat.

I am so ready for this trip. More ready to get way than I've ever been for a vacation. Physically and mentally I need this and I am going to take full advantage of every moment I'm away. And I'm really excited to explore some new places like St. Maarten and St. Thomas. I could care less about the Bahamas -- been there done that but I do look forward to the beach mat I've reserved and sucking down countless libations.

Did I mention the casino? And the sex that is inevitable when staying in a strange bed? Nothing better than travel sex. Hell yes. I am so ready for this trip.

We are going to have unlimited internet in our cabin but not sure how reliable it is so I may or may not updating my blog next week. If I am able to connect you can expect greetings from a slightly drunken and well rested Pookie.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Cleanliness is next to sanity or Pledge saved my life

2006-02-02T06:15:00.000-05:00

First off things are going well in the office. Drama free but super busy. I've been working non-stop, every day since that fateful meeting a week ago. By the time we head for the port on Sunday for the cruise I will have worked 10 straight days. If you remember I normally work 15-18 days a MONTH. This has been a shock to my system. I love the work and can live with the long, extra days seeing as something good has come from all the drama. But I am running out of time and have done nothing to prepare for my trip.

Thankfully, I got GNW (Gorgeous New Housekeeper) on the phone last night and she's coming in the morning, 5 days early, to help out. OK, some reading this may think me petty and spoiled relying on a housekeeper but with mine & T's schedules (even with my old schedule) it is impossible for us to keep this house clean and this place running smoothly. I am truly happiest when everything in my home is perfect. It's almost spiritual to me knowing that there isn't dust hiding on top of the pictures & mirrors and that everything is in its place. I've always been a neat/clean freak (I blame my mother, "Miss Perfect Homemaker" for raising me in a spotless home) but it became even more important to me several years ago when I was at the height of a full-fledged depression. I'd closed a business that I poured my heart & soul into and was virtually left with nothing to do with myself; a depleted bank account; and tens & thousands of dollars in debt. Add to this that I had just started to allow myself to grieve for the death of my father -- 4 years after the fact.

At my lowest point the only option I saw for myself was death. Sad but true. It literally took me finding myself on the floor of my den one afternoon holding my father's antique pistol (loaded) and completely broken down before I made a call to a shrink and decided to make a change. It was life or death for me. I wisely chose the former. I remember this moment as if it were 5 minutes ago. It’s said that there is a changing moment in everyone’s life that decided who they will become and this was mine. Slowly I pulled myself back up to walk among the living. With medication, therapy, and tons of free time I threw myself into my home. It was all I had left -- or so I thought anyway. Part of my grieving process was cleaning and organizing. I was obsessed but in a good way as I had a mission….something to strive for. And at the end of the day the glean and shine, the smell and feel, of a clean home was like being held by a loved one -- something back then I wouldn't(couldn't) allow a real person to do. I had to do this alone.

Aside from my therapist I wouldn’t allow a person to get close to me during this time but dust rag and a can of Pledge became my best friend. I couldn’t open my heart up to a friend or family member but I exposed my soul to the tops of the cabinets and the underside of my household appliances. Organizing drawers and closets was healing for me and carefully vacuuming a treasured Persian rug was like confessing my sins and secrets to a priest.

I remember one day vividly. I was cleaning the antique piano (circa 1890) that my father had bought and refurbished for me shortly after I was born. It is a gorgeous Tiger Oak upright piece with a contradiction of bold, thick curves and delicate carvings and detail. As I painstakingly cleaned each key and polished each notch in the fine carvings I allowed myself to let go of some of the sorrow and worthlessness that was consuming me and simply enjoy being alive. When I was finished with this task I sat down and began to play. Nothing elaborate by any means but rather a little song that to this day makes me laugh, “The Happy Little Robin”. It is Beginner piece that my piano teacher, Miss Clara Goddard, taught me to broaden the agility of my young fingers and accustom myself to the keys. It is basically a series of scales, a heavy pedal, and a repetitious chorus. My mother HATED this song as I would play it over and over and over. I would practice for 2 hours a day and 50% of the time it was this song. “My GOD can’t you play something else?!?!", she’d scream out from the kitchen or “Are you really sure you want to take piano lessons?” Anyway, I played The Happy Little Robin on my perfectly cleaned/polished piano and the healing began.

Back to the theme of this post…each spotless mirror, painting, surface, wall, or perfectly polished piece of glass or silver represented an achievement of mine and proved to me that I was worth something again. Eventually I lowered the wall I’d built around myself and began to allow people back into my life. But only when I deemed my home perfect.

Obviously things changed for me fiscally and emotionally over time and I'm happy to say that the long, hard road that got me where I am today was the best thing that ever happened to me. Coming up from my emotional bottom was a humbling, growing, test of self worth. I emerged stronger, happier, and well-adjusted than I'd ever been in my entire life. The small things in life -- such as a clean home for example -- were something I'd never take for granted again. I am thankful for this dark period in my life as it opened my eyes and heart to what was/is truly important to my existence.

Eventually, the cleaning became slightly less important and living each day as if it were my last took its place. But it’s through this experience that to this day I want my home…the core of my being to be as perfect as possible. I can’t do it all myself and “live” a normal life but I “need” it as a reminder of where I have been and who I’ve become. That’s why I hire a housekeeper. I still get that warm, tingly feeling when I come home at the end of the day and my home shines – it’s a reflection that I now shine as well. That and quite frankly I spent WAY too damn much time cleaning! J It's my hard earned money that I part with bi-weekly for a housekeeper and one of the few real indulgences in my life. So I'll not defend it to anyone. As long as I have someone who takes enough pride in their work and is trustworthy enough for to trust them in my home alone and I can continue to afford their services I will have a housekeeper. It’s a hell of a lot less expensive than my therapist was and it makes me truly happy.

Anyway GNW is coming Friday morning so I will have a clean home when I leave town and a clean home when I return. It’s a win-win for me all around!
You know what? I think before I leave for the office this morning I’ll actually play The Happy Little Robin on my soon-to-be cleaned piano.

Keep your fingers crossed for me

2006-02-01T06:57:00.000-05:00

In a little over an hour & 1/2 I have a meeting. Yes, dears, and this time I'm the one who called it. Well, actually I asked that a meeting be moved up a week in order to accommodate MY schedule and all the PP's agreed.

It's been 4 days of sheer bliss in that there have no harsh emails, hateful phone calls, or people quitting their jobs. I've a feeling that this meeting will go pretty nicely. #1 PP and RHM have gone out of their way to assure those of us left in the office how much they love us. OK, so we didn't get flowers, candy, or fat bonus checks left on our desks but each of us has been called by the big-wigs "to make sure that we're all doing OK and happy". Enough said. All I've ever wanted is to be appreciated, compensated, and occasionally told what a good job we do.

Not a peep out of my "close friend" and #2 PP. This isn't unusual because anytime they stir up shit they tend to avoid me. This is fine by me.

I had the meeting moved up because I will be gone next week and given all that has happened didn't feel it would be in my best interest to miss it. Thankfully I won't have to.

Now, I do have a little excitement to bring to the table and that's 4 more sets of plans that I've changed so much that they look like large red maps. Yippee for me!

I'll let ya know how it goes.

Bush speech to set election-year agenda..........

2006-01-31T16:23:00.000-05:00

........and who gives a shit? 60% of the USA now sees him about as credible as Howard Stern or Anna Nicole Smith.

FLUSH
Alito Is Sworn in As Associate Justice

........Civil Rights as we know them are going down the tubes into the GOP crapper

SAD NEWS
Coretta Scott King Dies at 78

...........I had the pleasure of meeting Mrs. King once when I was 20 years old. She came into a law firm that worked in with then Mayor Maynard Jackson (a regular around the firm). I found her to be a very dignified and classy lady.

CHICKEN LITTLE! THE SKY IS FALLING!
Fed Raises Rates; Another Hike Possible

.........very soon people will be crying about "high interest mortgage rates" of 6.5% and a falling economy. Doesn't anyone remember when an 8% was still considered good? Spoiled brats.

OSCAR SAYS
'Brokeback Mountain' and Small Films Lead the Way

........the poor dears at the AFA must be seeing red. Or is it a pinkish-gay that's blocking their distorted vision after hearing this news from "helly-wood?

KEEP THOSE HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM
Concern grows over Kama Sutra computer virus

.........just say no when the email masturbation fairly comes a knocking on Wednesday or you may lose more than your load.

HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE NEWS BUT IT'S MY BLOG AND ONE OF MY FAVORITE FILM DIALOGUES
..........Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte (1964)

Miriam: Yes, I told Jewel. And I told your father, too. Why wouldn't I? After all, I wasn't much more than a child then, and all I ever got in this house was people telling me how lucky I was. And your father always favoring you and holding you up as an example. Why wouldn't I tell him that his pure, darling little girl was having a dirty little affair with a married man!

Charlotte: You're a vile, sorry little bitch!!!

Miriam: How was I to know it would end in murder - with John being butchered?- Olivia de Havilland, Bette Davis

It's Meme Time!

2006-01-31T06:38:00.000-05:00

I found this meme at one of my new favorite bloggers site. Her answers we so raw and honest that I was moved to do it myself so here ya go:

3 names I answer to:

* Pookie (well, that's a given) -- I got this nickname from my T
* Chapmac -- I use(d) it in online virtual worlds = games. It's a combination of family surnames Chapman & McCallum (see heritage question below)
* Chappy -- A spin off of Chapman given to me back in colleh when I was a TKE

3 parts of your heritage:

* Scottish -- from my great grandfather on my fathers side
* Scottish -- from my great grandfather on my fathers mothers side
* Scottish (the remaining 1/4 is British) -- from my mothers grandparents

3 things that scare me:

* The intentional political & religious divide in this country
* Snakes -- hate them...hate them... hate them....hate them... hate them...
* Losing T -- No, not splitting up but when the day comes that one of us passes away

3 of your everyday essentials:

* Redken Clean Lift 07
* Black coffee -- 1/2 decaf & 1/2 full octane blended
* My Franklin-Covey Monarch Dayplanner (it is the glue that holds me together)

3 things you are wearing right now:

* A bronze v-neck Nautica tee-shirt
* Ratty no-name shorts I've had for too many years but can't part with
* Lacoste Pour Homme

3 of your favorite songs:

* A Love That Will Never Grow Old - Emmylou Harris
* Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order
* Mad World - Gary Jules

3 things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:

* Pride in appearance -- no matter the age or size any woman can be beautiful with a little effort
* The ability to be bitchy without being mean or cruel -- I LOVE bitchy women
* Nice tits -- I no desire to touch them but I love seeing them in a sweater or nice fitting top

3 things you want in a relationship (other than real love) :

* Loyalty
* Humor
* Honesty

3 of your favorite hobbies:

* Shopping -- clothes, home decor, books, groceries....so long as I can find a bargain
* Playing on the internet -- playing games, reading blogs, sending emails, doing research
* Decorating my home or garden

3 Places you want to go:

* San Francisco -- again & again...I never tire of this wonderful city
* Italy
* London

3 things you want to do before you die:

* Get my Masters and either teach, counsel, or work in Social Services
* Have a book published
* Meet some of my favorite bloggers in person and give them a big hug

3 ways that you are stereotypically a male:

* Put my hands down my pants as soon as I hit the couch (gotta protect the boys ya know)
* Pee standing up (99% of the time anyway) -- and I ALWAYS raise the seat
* Think about sex A LOT

2 truths and 1 lie (in any order):

* Worked in a male strip club, The Lemon Peel, and had a picture taken with Caroline Cossey aka Tula
* Hiked Mount Everest
* Drank awful champagne and smoked a joint with Bono and several lesser known band members in a limo back in the late 80's

3 people you would like to take this survey:

Anyone who is up to the challenge

Straight men, you've been warned

2006-01-30T06:40:00.000-05:00

WARNING

Police are warning all heterosexual men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach.

After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women, to whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage."

Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females. Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.

If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.

Click HERE for a video to see how beer works on unsuspecting men.

After the raging storm comes a calm....

2006-01-29T07:22:00.000-05:00

....as to how long it lasts is anyone's guess.

Where I left off: #2 CW (the sweetest, most loyal friend I have in this city) cannot lie. She tells me that her gut instinct is work until the day I get back from my cruise and then quit without notice. And who can blame her? After EX CW was raked over the coals #2 PP turned all their attention to discrediting this girl. The morning of the meeting from Hell I knew something was up when #2 CW was 15 minutes late and hadn't called me. Everyone else was there and we were waiting on her to start. So I called her on my cell (from a bathroom no doubt for privacy!) and she said a major family crisis came up and that there was no way she could be there. Knowing her as I do I knew something bad was going on that and couldn't attend the meeting. This girl does not neglect her duties or obligations. She simply doesn't have it in her. So the second -- and I mean instantly -- I announced to the group that something had come up and #2 CW wouldn't be joining us #2 PP went on a rampage. WTF? This was supposed to be a typical meeting so why would it matter? I could take notes and fill her in. This should have been my first clue.

Back to #2 CW telling me she was going to quit. Honestly I can't and don't blame her for feeling this way. #2 PP has been bashing her every chance she gets and to anyone who will listen. I'm hearing this from not just my office but from other people in the company AND mutual friends of #2 PP and myself. OK, this is just wrong. Anyway, #2 CW and I talk for a long time and ultimately decide to let things cool off and figure out how to get through the next two weeks. We've had countless conversations trying to work out the dynamics of what had happened; how this came about; and WHY #2 PP was being so cruel. (For this weekend we've agreed to not even discuss it because it truly is a bunch of orchestrated BS with an agenda of lies, greed, and a maniacal egoist on a mission.

Fast forward a bit: Thursday, as I've said, was an emotional roller coaster. One minute things are looking up and then another bomb is dropped. Countless calls from #2 PP saying that things are going to work out in one breath.... more criticism of the team and now mainly #2 CW, and endless "I love yous." I thought for sure that I'd be left alone after the office closed. I mean how damn much misery can one person inflict on another? Surely it gets tiring after a while even for a masochist like #2 PP. Guess what? I walk in the door at 5:30 and the cell rings. I don't even have to tell you who it is -- #2 PP and there is a company VP on the phone. Yes, a 3-way call -- just what I needed. This time the bitching is about a complaint #2 PP received from another person in our company. OMG this could be a story in itself as the complainer is...well...I'm not even going there. Suffice it to say that even #2 PP finds this person difficult to deal with and calls a "troubled individual". So we yap (no, I just listen and defend) for a good 20 minutes when #2 PP starts bashing on #2 CW. I immediately say, " WE ARE NOT GOING THERE. DROP IT." and for once #2 PP listens. But the bashing doesn't end it just moves to someone else -- the right hand man of #1 PP who I am going to refer to as RHM. Yep, now there is a whole new victim.

For 10 minutes I hear how "worthless, mean, trouble maker, what an asshole, rude, incompetent" person RHM is. The truth is that RHM can be crude, yells a lot, and can come across as an asshole -- he'll even admit to it! But I see him everyday and incompetent, worthless, or mean he is not. Hell, he makes #2 CW cry sometimes with the cussing & yelling but at the end of the day we all know he has only the best intentions and a good heart. This guy would give a stranger the shirt off his back in a second. Anyway, #2 PP goes on and on about how --- now get this --- they are offended that #1 PP and RHM are trying to discredit me???!!!! "Mainly RHM because he is trying to sabotage your credibility with #1 PP and doesn't like you", then adds, "It could be because you're gay but I think it's because he's jealous. I am going to talk to #1 PP about getting rid of RHM. It's in his best interest." (planting seeds of doubt) WHOA. So now #2 PP has told me another blatant lie --- RHM is the one who insisted that I be placed in charge. AND RHM is not jealous of anyone. Furthermore, RHM is not homophobic. If he has a problem with someone he will damn well get right in your face and tell you. He doesn't sneak around. What you see is what you get. Anyway, I finally tell #2 PP that my dog is about to shit on the floor if I don't let him out and then I am sending them the bill for the cleaner and I hang up.

OK, so a pattern is evolving here: #2 PP is trying to tear apart any alliances and goodwill between me and everyone involved with this project. For almost a week #2 PP has dropped comments that so & so has "sold me out" and so & so "can't be trusted"; "#1 PP has lost faith in my loyalty and dedication; RHM wants me gone BUT #2 PP "is telling me these things because they real, really love me and cherish my friendship." Do ya'll see where this is going?

After I hang up the phone and let the dog out I go back to my study and just sit there. Then I start thinking...doubting....mistrusting EVERYONE left in this project but #2 CW & #3 CW. Maybe #1 PP & RHM really do want me gone? Maybe they really do think I am lazy? This goes on in my head for a good ten minutes. Then I realize that I can't go on like this. I have nothing to lose but a job --- which is starting to look very bleak and I'm considering walking from anyway. So, I decide to do something -- I need to test #1 PP & RHM to see if they are still loyal to me or if they are going to sell me out.

So I call RHM on his cell. I start by saying "I am going out on a limb here and trusting you", immediately RHM raises his voice, "Pookie, dammit, you KNOW YOU CAN TRUST ME. You always have and you always can." He was offended (or was pretending to be offended) that I doubted his loyalty. I continued by telling him that given everything that was going on that I felt he needed to know something. I wanted to warn him that #2 PP was apparently tapering off the attack against my team and that now HE was the target. I didn't go into too much detail - just enough of what #2 PP told me to get a reaction from him. He laughed in typical RHM fashion. "Do you think that I give a shit what #2 PP thinks? #2 PP is crazy as hell and I know it and you know it and #1 PP knows it. Hell, EVERYONE KNOWS IT!." Then he told me to go have 3-4 drinks -- that I needed it. To get some rest and he'd see me in the morning.

OK, the test was in place. Two things were going to happen. He was going to tell #1 PP and they would pass on my "warning" to #2 PP to use as leverage for getting rid of me OR he would tell #1 PP and they would have a laugh about it because they know how #2 PP is. Well, Friday...Saturday..and now Sunday morning has come and went and no call from #2 PP about my calling RHM. Trust me, if #2 PP knew I called RHM and told him about our conversation I would have heard about it by now. Even more so I would have been blasted for telling him.

Now I HATE, HATE, HATE testing people. I find it offensive and cruel. But at this point and given everything that has occurred I had to know. It was the only way I could look #1 PP or RHM in the face and ever trust them again. Now I know. I am respected by them and important to them. And now I know for certain that #2 PP has a big time agenda. I'll share my theory on that in another post and AFTER a few more things transpire.

I knew on Friday that either I was going to be busted for leaking information to RHM and a deeper level of Hell was going to swallow me up or things were going to be a bit smoother. With a deep (and hesitant) sigh of relief I can say it is the latter. Friday began the healing of my immediate wounds so I could prepare for the next battle. I'm leaving town in one week. Our next scheduled meeting was set for the time I was going to be gone. So I call #1 PP (who I feel I can trust again) and ask if we can move the meeting up a week. I really need to be there. #1 PP immediately agrees and tells me he'd already decided to to that. "I want you there. You're too important not to be there" -- I love being showered with love.

So I send out an email to everyone on CW/PP list and say that per #1 PP that we are meeting a week sooner. I reiterated that I was going on a cruise and "didn't want to interfere with anyone's schedule" but felt it important that I be there. The replies start pouring in immediately. All but the reply from #1 PP. Everyone agrees to the new date, everyone is glad to accommodate me, and everyone looks forward to the meeting. THEN I get a reply from #2 PP. At this point I dread and I mean DREAD even checking that email account especially when I see something in the inbox from #2 PP. The reply was short; in all caps; bold; and cc: to everyone on the list: "OF COURSE I CAN BE THERE. I WAS JUST THINKING HOW WE CAN'T HAVE A MEETING WITHOUT YOU. YOU'RE TOO IMPORTANT!" Whew......

THEN, about an hour later I get another reply to the same email from #2 PP without the cc: to everyone but me. "Pookie, there is no way you can miss out on this vacation. You've worked too hard and you NEED this trip. I love you, #2PP"

I've not received an email or call from #2 PP since.

Friday at work was busy but productive. I was by myself in the office and didn't go to lunch, let the dog out (T came home and did it), or even pee the whole day. No lie -- I never even took a pee break. I was there for 9 1/2 hours and it was a wonderful day.

Saturday I worked with #3 CW (now a FT team member since EX CW left) and we had a busy but wonderful day. I asked her if we could spend one hour talking about #2 PP and all the ugliness of the past few weeks and then can we not mention it again. She hugged my neck and agreed. What was interesting is that during that one hour we compared a lot of mental notes. #2 PP had been trying to discredit myself, #2 CW , EX CW, #1 PP, and RHM to her through quick calls and emails. I was only briefly bashed but everyone else was thoroughly raked over the coals. Especially #2 CW. Well, the thing I adore about #3 CW is that she has known #2 PP for years and doesn't believe a word that comes out of their mouth. Then, until I left early, we laughed and had a good time being together.

This drama is far from over but it appears as if the first battle is over. There is a lot of underlying issues that will arise which will ultimately cause #2 PP lots of grief. If #2 PP ever says a negative word about RHM there will be hell to pay. #1 PP and RHM have been close friends & business partners for 20 years and if #1 PP tries to come between that then ....LOL...it is going to be ugly. I just hope and pray that when (and it will) happens I can have a ring side seat. #1 PP is very loyal to RHM and vice versa so no one is going to come between that -- especially #2 PP.

The good things from all this:

* #2 CW and I are closer than ever
* #3 CW and I will be working together much more
* Effective immediately I am going to be working more but will be paid considerably more
* My trust of #1 PP & RHM is even stronger
* Most importantly myself and everyone else are going to see #2 PP for what they really are --- I've seen to that. Without going into detail I've set something in motion that will eventually teach #1 PP a huge lesson. It won't be today but it could be next week or next month. Lets just say that I've given #1 PP just enough proverbial rope to tie a noose. Eventually their greed and manipulative nature is going to cause them to hang themself. As I've said before - Payback can a real bitch and when push comes to shove so can I.

I plan on posting something later today that has nothing to do with this recent nightmare. I've purged my ill feelings through this blog and I am ready to take a baby step forward.

Thanks to everyone who has left a supportive comment, sent an email, or said a prayer. I feel your love and I'm sending it right back to ya. (((((((((((smooches)))))))))))))

whenTHEshitHITStheFANyouBETTERrunFORcover

2006-01-28T07:39:00.000-05:00

I've decided in this post not to cast an actor (OK -- actress because I like bitchy women better) to play the role of Pookie in my Made-for-TV-movie. The movie isn't going to happen for two reasons: 1) No network would have the balls to broadcast it, for Christ sake NBC canceled The Book Of Daniel because it was too racy -- they blame it on poor ratings! and 2) there isn't an actor alive who would go through the shit I have the past week(+) even if it meant they got a paycheck. So instead I'm going to just tell you what's been going on. A picture may say a thousand words but this one just barely offers a quick personal note in a Hallmark greeting card.

Back & forth accusations, meetings, harsh emails & words, emotional blood-letting, brain rape, stomping on hearts, destruction of morale, an egotistical company owner with personal agendas, so called "friends" lying for personal gain and true colors of a persons soul rising to the surface. That has been my last 4 days.

Let me share with you snippet or two from an email I received at 10:30pm 2 days ago from my "close friend" of 10 years AKA #2 PP. About an hour before this was sent to me (and my team) we'd ( #2 PP and myself) talked on the phone about how loved and appreciated I was personally and "how dedicated and professional I was compared to 90% of the people (#2 PP) has ever known in 30 years of business" ..."how I was the hardest worker and most productive person".... "Amazing how hard you work and and never complain"....."you make it difficult for me because I always have to compare everyone else to your ethics and standards and no one else can match you".... The call ended with my being told "I love you so much and value you more than you will ever know. You have always been there for me and I consider you to be one of my closest friends"....

Here is the email in part:

...You were so fortunate to have this project and you have never really acted appreciative by keeping yourselves informed and getting really involved. You are all "takers" and not "givers" I think it has really come back to haunt you. I think that you have covered for each other and tried to just get by. I don't blame XXXX for being upset; you should all be upset with yourselves. It isn't just XXXX, he is just the most lethargic and he has a right to be after all of these years. The rest of you are just lazy! ...... You all seem to do whatever it takes to "just get by" You are so lethargic about it all and it shows. It really does and it is embarrassing!.....You are an embarrassment to me personally & professionally.....You are the company joke. NO, YOU ARE THE JOKE OF THE INDUSTRY".....

This email was sent to everyone on my team and #1 PP. I really don't have to say a single word to express how shocked, betrayed, and livid I was.

Literally, I was on the phone with my "close friend", #2 PP, one minute after I read this email.
I called with the full intention of telling #2 PP to go and fuck themself and then give notice that I was quitting. The first sentence out of my mouth after I got the "hello?" on the receiving end of my call was: "I don't give a good goddamn what time it is or what you the hell you are in the middle of WE ARE GOING TO TALK. NOW."

For 45 minutes I blasted #2 PP like I have never blasted someone in my entire life. It was the single worst phone conversation I've engaged in since my phone rang at 3:45 am on 5/23/1996 telling me that my father had died. What resulted was a full denial behind of the "true intention" of that email and more lip service about how "much I was loved and valued." #2 PP said that the intention of the email wasn't to "belittle my contribution" or "shed any negative light on me & my team at all" it was constructive criticism intended for the other members of the team and for "me to know that I am so valuable"...yada yada yada.

I could go on for hours. The lies, bullshit, attempt to sugar-coat the situation, and faux flattery of me was sickening. Well, guess what? Me, being dreadfully tired and emotionally drained from a week(+) of living hell made peace with #2 PP! Yes! I was an idiot. I fell for it. I never, ever for one second stopped defending my co-workers and eventually heard nothing from #2 PP but praise for all of us. More bullshit. But after living on 4-5 hours of sleep per night for over a week I accepted it (albeit hesitantly) and with an "I love you too" hung up the phone. I popped and extra Xany and slept for about 6 hours.

The next day, Thursday:

I get into the office (an hour early) and #1 CW (a co-worker/former office manager/filthy rich and doesn't need to work anyway) is there in shorts............. cleaning out their desk. We talked for a while and I accepted why they were leaving. #1 CW tells me that they have a call into #2 PP and is going to tell them that they quit. Well, the phone rings and it's #2 PP screaming and cussing that they are on their way over to the office and that if anyone is upset with "the email" they can just leave and not to let the door hit them in the ass on the way out. #1 Cw and I laugh from exhaustion and disbelief. At this point #1 CW hadn't even read the email! They were quitting based on all the BS of the previous 3 days.

45 minutes later #2 PP shows up sweet as pie with compliments and praise pouring from their mouth onto the floor like vomit after a night of drinking Bailey's Irish Cream --- sickeningly sweet and offensive. #1 CW and I couldn't get a word in for 20 minutes with all the "love" being showered upon us. Finally, #1 CW breaks the news that they are leaving. HELLO!? The big box; shorts; and the wall now empty of awards and plaques behind the desk should be a clue!
A sweet smile comes across my friends (ha!) face. Jesus!??????????????? The sum of it was an exchange of kind words between those two for a few minutes and then #2 PP leaving for a meeting across town. #1 CW (now EX CW) and I laughed our asses off. EX CW looked at me and said "that bitch has been crazy for years and everyone in this city knows it" and we laughed some more. We say our good-byes (as co-workers but not friends) and I'm left alone.

The next thing I do is run to the phone and call #2 CW begging them UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE'S DO NOT READ THE EMAIL that was sent the night before. #2 CW said they had no intention of it as they "knew it was just going to be more BS and they weren't ruining their day off." No sooner had I hung up the phone when #3 CW called me on my cell screaming "What the fuck wrong with #2 PP?! That email is nothing but fucking lies...." . Dear readers & friends you can but imagine where this call went. I told #3 CW that I was just about to call them and tell them to call me before reading it. Too late.

An hour later #2 CW comes into the office just to talk for a sec (still hasn't read the email) and I fill them in on EX CW quitting, the meeting with EX CW & #2 PP earlier that morning, and a summary of the email from hell. I go to make coffee and return a call when #2 CW calls out "I'm just going to read the damn thing and get it over with. Nothing is going to bother me today and nothing that #2 PP says surprises me" ............that's what you think. To summarize this: #2 CW is shocked & breaks into a fit of laughter. They forward the email to their spouse. Spouse replies with "WTF?" and #2 CW and I talk about it. I finally just ask #2 CW to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth, "you're quitting too aren't you?"

To be continued.............

I have to go to work. Yes, I still work there. Long story. I'll explain later. For now accept my apologies for typos, spelling & grammatical errors as I don't have time to run a spell/grammar check.

But then again my spelling & grammar always sucks and I have a minor in English! HA! True.

Meeting, schmeeting

2006-01-25T06:42:00.000-05:00

Again with another meeting. Today's is at 8:30. It feels like the past week has been one long continuous meeting. Nothing at all is resolved from from the past 3 and I can't imagine this one solving anything. More lip service...more innuendo and blatant accusations...and more drama.

Thankfully we have an architect coming to this one so there will be a reprieve for a few minutes at least. My dining room table is covered with drafts & plans I've been marking up fast & furious. People want change I am going to give them some. Lots of it and it's not going to be cheap. All this bickering and negativity over the past week has cost me sleep and peace of mind so the least I can is return the favor with a few thousand dollars worth of revisions. My red pen and highlighter is obscenely low on ink. This makes me smile. If I can't drive a vehicle through the front of a building to drive home a point I can damn sure drive people crazy with lot's of tiny details. Payback is a bitch and so am I.

So around 9:00 this morning I want everyone to think about me sitting all innocent and sweet in another meeting. Perfect Pookie will smile, make affirmative comments, and nod his pretty blonde head in agreement just to pass the time. And then I will ever so gently hand over my revisions which will make my life a lot easier but drive others crazy. The pen (my red one) really is more powerful than the sword. Or Betty Broderick's SUV in this case.

Casting Meredith Baxter in the role of Pookie

2006-01-24T12:21:00.000-05:00

Lee Remick may be dead but Meredith Baxter isn't and I'm starting to feel a lot like I've been cast as one of her most famous roles as Betty Broderick. So I'm casting her as the lead in the Made-for-TV movie about my life. Did you know that I'm now a maniacal raving bitch with no regard for anyone else? Yep.

To rehash the past 8 hours it has been a constant flurry of brand new "he said...she said" phone calls and emails. The bottom line is that #2 PP (Paycheck Provider) refuses to take any responsibility for their actions & comments over the past 2 years. For many years and as many projects #2 PP has let a certain someone get away with anything short of murder. They can come and go as they please; shrug off their duties; abandon work with no repercussion; and basically do very little and be paid very well. #2 PP lets this happen.

After #1 PP had gotten a gut full of this nonsense they contacted #2 PP and said, "enough is enough..do something", but #2 PP is obviously scared to step up to bat and confront this person (which baffles all of us!). But do they do what #1 PP asks? Hell no. They pass this lovely chore onto us lowly (but well paid) worker bees. The upheaval in the office and resulting changes are thrown back into my lap and that of one other co-worker while #2 PP sits back with doe-eyes and acts surprised. Bull shit.

Mean while, back in Gotham City, myself and one other person are looking like we've deliberately and maliciously set up this whole situation for some extra cash and out of spite. Again, more bull shit.

For the record I am off work today -- I was off yesterday but I've spent every spare damn minute involved in this unfolding drama. So much for R&R! Every time we (myself and the other office Betty Broderick) try and do something to make things better it just gets worse. Well, I give up. Perhaps the real Betty Broderick was onto something. No, not killing someone but being a raving bitch and not backing down. Hell, if I'm being cast as a Betty then why not at least have the fun of actually being one? I could throw a very dramatic tantrum. I could leave vicious, screaming voice mails. I could throw things out of a window and then set them on fire. And I could also drive a vehicle through the front door of a building. In fact this is all starting to look very appealing about right now.

No, I suppose I'll have to just deal with this real life drama and hire Meredith Baxter to have all the fun playing me being crazy. Going to jail isn't an option and I really don't have it in me to be that crazy but it's damn fun watching someone else do it on TV. I think I'll just rent A Woman Scorned. Meredith Baxter gets to play the biggest bitch on earth and Betty Broderick, well, she just gets to sit in jail.

Updates to come. In the meantime I promise not to drive any vehicles into buildings or set anything on fire. I'll just be watching it on the TV and waiting to see what happens next from the office.

Lee Remick, Why'd ya have to go and die?

2006-01-23T19:22:00.000-05:00

My life could be a Made-for-TV movie....but let it's the kind of movie that will make your head hurt from screaming, laughing and crying. If only Lee Remick were still alive she could strap on a...well you know.... and play Me in the story of my life the past week..... But more on that later.

First off thanks again for the kind & sincere comments & emails regarding the loss of our Niki. It was a horrible few days but we've adjusted and it gets better each day. The worst time for me is dinner time. It's hard making just one "doggie dinner" as opposed to two and it's hard to sit at the dining room table and not have Nikki 1/2 under my chair waiting on a crumb to drop and my having to be an acrobat to step over him you get up. Damn I miss him but at least I know he's in a better place and not suffering. Hugs to all of you. And not weak, society hugs (Lord know I see enough of those as it is) but big warm hugs where I hold on for as long as you let me. Your kindness has made a difference. Thank you.

So now for the current drama:

Big changes in my office. Long story short is that last week we had a meeting that started out really, really bad and ended up with myself and one of my co-workers getting more responsibility and more pay. One minute I'm sitting there thinking to myself that it's time to looking for a new job and the next I'm offered more money for a job well done. Go figure.

Totally out of nowhere came all these massive changes. I can adapt to just about anything so that's not a problem but someone else isn't so happy with all this and I feel really bad for them. As big a bitch I as admit to being I don't like seeing a very likeable person with a good heart hurt. Sadly it's a part of life in any business but none the less it just sucks. I told the #1 PP (Paycheck Provider) today that I was just going to spike the water supply to our office with a little Vodka and Xanax so everyone can just be calm & happy. #1 PP & his right-hand man just laughed. I guess they think I'm kidding. OK --- I am kidding. No, seriously I am.

Backing up a bit #2 PP and I (who are also good friends) spent the entire weekend shooting back & forth emails laced with vinegar & piss. This is nothing new as we are both very strong willed and don't back down when we think (know) we're right. Finally, Sunday night we kissed & made up via our computers but I know damn good and well that a sequel is coming soon. Neither one us will let the other one have the last damn word. It's a good thing we love and respect each other is all I can say.

Today, I spent the whole morning anxious, pissed off, and guilty that while I'm going to make more money someone else is going to take a cut in pay. It's not my fault this is happening and I didn't ask for it but it's that whole wanting everyone to be happy thing even when they bring bad things on themselves. I suppose I'll be able to appreciate the honor, and it is an honor, that's been given to me and enjoy the fruits of my labor once the dust settles. Until then I'll save the Vodka and Xanax for myself --- In my very best Lee Remick no doubt. Truly, no one could play the victim or troubled soul as good as she. Rest in Peace, dear Lee. TV just isn't the same without you.

On a cheerier note my blog has been given a very nice review by Bloggy Award. I didn't win myself a smart looking banner for my site but I did get a favorable review and that makes me feel really good. Thanks, Bloggy Award! You can check out my review here.

I promise to check out all my buddies blogs and leave a smart comment at each real soon. I just have to get through the next couple of days...

Well, that's about all for today. I'm feeling very much the need for a cigarette and a nice Martini ala Miss Remick.

We are so blessed

2006-01-15T09:18:00.000-05:00

I cannot recount how many times the past two days I've looked at T and told him how fortunate we are to have the friends that we do. Losing Nikki was such a sad experience to go through. Any pet owner knows that it's like losing a part of yourself and a part of your family. In many ways it's more difficult initially than losing a family member because your pet is with you 24-7.

During the past 48 hours we've been showered with kind and love from near and far. Fellow bloggers have left the kindest of replies and emailed which means so much. Our local friends have been amazing. We've had beautiful flowers and cards delivered to the house, delicious (comforting) foods and treats dropped off and many, many hugs. We are truly blessed to have such kind and caring people in our lives.

A few weeks back we'd planned a dinner party at our house and given the untimely loss of Nikki it was too late to cancel. Under normal situations the preparing, cooking, cleaning etc.. involved in hosting friends can be stressful to say the least. I'm a perfectionist and want everything just so-so. But there was something healing and comforting about preparing for last nights get together. As I cleaned, shopped and cooked it brought a peace to me. Every little detail was like a self-hug to myself. I felt embraced by a project of nourishment and beauty which is just what I needed.

The Dinner Party:

I was so brain dead yesterday morning that I had no idea what I was going to cook. So I called my mom and said "let's go shopping" and as always wont to shop she agreed. We went to a home store and I found some funky little white canape/bread/dessert plates and a dozen white hotel-restaurant napkins. The dinner plates I was trying to match are from IKEA and are the kind you see in trendy restaurants. About 16" round with a 2" flat lip and a 1" deep flat bowl. I'd bought a set of the coolest multi-use glasses which are clear with white/frosted geometric shapes from top to bottom so my white theme was set. I wanted the candles, food, flowers and personality of the guests to be the color.

For the meal I made a chicken and sausage gumbo. I was going to do a stuffed chicken dish but when I read that the temperature was going to drop to the 30's I knew a hearty stew type meal was more appropriate. I took great care in sauteeing the meats and veggies. We're always watching calories but for the night I threw all thoughts of low-fat weight to the wind and cooked with real butter and rich ingredients. The rue for the gumbo was rich, smooth and heavenly. I made homemade garlic biscuits which I brushed with butter and they were lighty & fluffy. The salad was crisp, fresh and full of all sorts of finely chopped/torn ingredients. The finale was a rich chocolate cake made with butter (of course) had a bottom crust of pecans and coconut. And the cake itself was dotted with globs of sweet, gooey, buttery cream cheese. It was sinfully good if I do say so myself.

Our guests were an older couple and another gentleman we through them and adore. Ramone and Louis are from the "old Cuba" as they like to say. They were born into affluent families & raised in a country rich with history and have been friends for many, many years. Louis's partner of 25+ years, John, is a delightful man with a Southern Baptist background who like myself escaped the church relatively unscathed. Any time we get together we have wonderful conversations and many laughs., But last night was unique. Whether it was the fire going in the fireplace, the music, the glow from the candles throughout the house, the good wine & food...something was just extra special. The laughs were fuller and the conversation more animated. It wasn't forced to make T & I feel better it just "was" more perfect than usual. Perhaps I was just more receptive to emotions and open to feelings I'm not sure. But it was a perfect evening leaving me even more aware of how blessed we are to have the life we have.

I've been off the schedule for work for the past few days but I return this afternoon and I look forward to it more than ever. Somewhere in the loss and sadness of the last few days I've found a desire to live each day and appreciate each day a little more than the last. That said, I've got a hundred things to do before I go into the office so I'm off.

Wishing everyone a beautiful Sunday and sending out hugs.

Not a good 48 hours

2006-01-13T06:31:00.000-05:00

Since 5:00am yesterday we've been dealing with some major problems with our 14 y.o. Chow, Nikki. He's in major distress and having a hard time breathing. He's been to the vet for blood work and x-rays and spent last night in a 24 hour pet hospital for observation. I spoke with the hospital vet and even with doggie-Morphine and anti-anxiety medication it's not getting better. We're going to pick him up at 7:00am and then back to the vet to see what to do next. Nikki's been our baby for 14 years and if it's his time then all I can do is hand him up to God.

Dammit this is so hard.

9:40 - We got home about 30 minutes ago. We ended up making the only decision we could. The consensus of two vets was that he'd suffered some sort of neurological seizure and at his age it was unlikely there was anything that could be done for him. His suffering was brief and is over. God knows we'll miss him and it's going to be hard without him but we will see him again one day. That I know. The weird thing is thing is that I could feel it the moment he was set free. An instant peace came over me and I knew that he'd been greeted on the other side by his sister we'd lost 7 years ago to cancer.

Nikki, baby, we love you and will miss you but know you're OK now.

Coming Soon to a GOP theater near you

2006-01-11T20:16:00.000-05:00

A broken promise, a sock, and a tanning booth

2006-01-11T07:04:00.000-05:00

So for 6 months now I've bitched at my young blog buddy Jay about his going to the tanning beds. I've told him countless times how dangerous they are and that they'll turn your skin into the consistency of cracked shoe leather. Furthermore, I [promised that I'd never step foot into a tanning salon again. So what do I do? I get a one month membership for myself. But I have a reasonable explanation: It's just for a month and then I'll go back to the spray tans and I am going to the Eastern Caribbean for a week need a solid base tan so I don't burn. Well, as it turns out I got the burn anyway.

So I call up the tanning salon I used to go to. Actually it's a chain of salons with about 5 locations but this one was closest to my home. Come to find out I still had my "Gold" membership with them (from 10 years ago? Hello?) and got a smart discount for the month - $55 for unlimited sssions in the premium booths. Here I go on my lunch hour up to the salon. I hand over my Visa card and fill out the required update forms. When the time comes I'm pointed to the Turbo stand-up booth which I requested. I have this little thing now about laying down in the beds after reading how a salon in Atlanta, Georgia had an infestation with pubic crabs. Yep, people were getting crabs from laying in the beds. Ghastly I know.

Enter the booth: I've done this before so I know the routine. I strip down to all my glory and neatly lay my clothes on the teeny, tiny little chair. (This is where it gets good) I've had a bit of experience with the stand up beds so I learned a few tricks along the way for protecting the "boys" from overexposure. I put on my goggles to protect my eyes and then I put on my tanning sock. (Can you see where this is going?) I'd brought with me a clean sock that I place over my equipment. Yes, I could wear a jock or a bathing suit but I prefer no lines thank you very much. Besides, I'd learned the hard way (no pun intended) that the big guy and the boys tan VERY quickly and will turn about 6 shades darker than the rest of me if I keep them exposed. Not a pretty sight. So into the booth I go wearing only goggles and my sock.

As soon as I hit the power button the lights came on and completely surrounded me with warmth. The motor of this powerful machine kicked in and then from out of nowhere (the floor of the booth actually) came the wind. I'm not talking a soft breeze like a personal fan may provide but a serious and constant flow of wind. Enough wind to cause my hair to stand up and my sock stand up. Yes folks the black dress sock I'd attached was blowing all over the place. It was then that I started cracking up. I guess you'd have to experience this for yourself but there is something very funny about seeing a long black sock flopping all over the place uncontrollably.

Now let me clarify something here for the record. It so happens that I grabbed 1/2 of a pair of unusually long dress socks for the occasion. Had I picked a normal size sock I can assure you that there would have been no excess material flying about. Enough said.

I can only hope that the machine was loud enough to block out my 9 minute session of constant laughing but the attendant did give me an odd look as I left. I'm guessing that he either heard me laughing and thinks I am truly insane or he saw the long black so that I carried in my hand.