Blubbering sentiments

I was looking for a picture of something "4th of July-ish" and came across this one. To me it represents the senseless deaths of those soldiers hoodwinked into serving in Iraq and the death wish for the civil rights of Americans by our current government. Taking into consideration the sad state of affairs in this country there really isn't anything much worth celebrating this 4th of July. Oh, I'm going to some friends for a dinner party and I'm sure we'll see (hear) some fireworks throughout the evening but I wouldn't call it a celebration. Personally I cannot celebrate that thousands of innocent people have died because of self-serving government leaders and at this very moment the intentional divide in this country between it's citizens is growing stronger. Celebrate indeed.

Not a whole hell of a lot going on in my world. A bit of yard work, a few meetings here and there, and some outings with friends pretty much sum up my exciting life. I'm doing OK on the smoking cessation. I'm allowing myself a few ciggies per day down from a pack a day and it's been much easier on me emotionally than cold turkey. The way I see it is that I am still stopping smoking but on my terms and what will likely be the only way I can do it. Wish me luck.

Over the past few days I've made the decision to not attend my niece's wedding in September. How can I be expected to support the union of two people as life partners when I am denied this simple right for myself? In good conscience I just can't continue to sit by any longer and pretend that this is OK with me. It's not. I deserve to have my own monogamous 15+ year relationship recognized as legal and valid just as much as the next person. And a big fuck you to anyone who disagrees.

On a happier note my garden is looking quite lovely. We've had some decent rain in the past week so green is slowly returning to the color palate. The yard crew did a marvelous job this past week and everything is so neat. I'm very happy that we made the decision to turn the upkeep over to the professionals. This has given me the free time to focus on fine tuning the gardens which I have been enjoying very much. Even my roses are looking better!

I'm toying with the idea of setting up a video account for blogging or "vlogging" as it's called. I'm finding it more and more difficult to express what I want to say in writing. And it's become a bit of a chore to actually sit down and write for me lately. Hopefully, in time, this won't be the case. My motivation is slowing returning and I'm adjusting (finally) to the Welbutrin XL. Why can't my Xanax just solve all my woes? It's such a delightful drug, Xanax, and I just wish it did more than alleviate anxiety. Oh well, we can't have everything can we?

So I'm probably going to see The Devil Wears Prada this weekend. From what I've heard it's just fabulous. Meryl Streep is amazing and I cannot wait to see her in this role. I'll try and give a review of it.

Anyhoo, I hope everyone has a safe and happy weekend. I'm slowly making it around to all the blogs and commenting so look for me soon :-)

Huggers!

Pookie