Bush speech to set election-year agenda..........

........and who gives a shit? 60% of the USA now sees him about as credible as Howard Stern or Anna Nicole Smith.

Alito Is Sworn in As Associate Justice

........Civil Rights as we know them are going down the tubes into the GOP crapper

Coretta Scott King Dies at 78

...........I had the pleasure of meeting Mrs. King once when I was 20 years old. She came into a law firm that worked in with then Mayor Maynard Jackson (a regular around the firm). I found her to be a very dignified and classy lady.

Fed Raises Rates; Another Hike Possible

.........very soon people will be crying about "high interest mortgage rates" of 6.5% and a falling economy. Doesn't anyone remember when an 8% was still considered good? Spoiled brats.

'Brokeback Mountain' and Small Films Lead the Way

........the poor dears at the AFA must be seeing red. Or is it a pinkish-gay that's blocking their distorted vision after hearing this news from "helly-wood?

Concern grows over Kama Sutra computer virus

.........just say no when the email masturbation fairly comes a knocking on Wednesday or you may lose more than your load.

..........Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte (1964)

Miriam: Yes, I told Jewel. And I told your father, too. Why wouldn't I? After all, I wasn't much more than a child then, and all I ever got in this house was people telling me how lucky I was. And your father always favoring you and holding you up as an example. Why wouldn't I tell him that his pure, darling little girl was having a dirty little affair with a married man!

Charlotte: You're a vile, sorry little bitch!!!

Miriam: How was I to know it would end in murder - with John being butchered?- Olivia de Havilland, Bette Davis

It's Meme Time!

I found this meme at one of my new favorite bloggers site. Her answers we so raw and honest that I was moved to do it myself so here ya go:

3 names I answer to:

* Pookie (well, that's a given) -- I got this nickname from my T
* Chapmac -- I use(d) it in online virtual worlds = games. It's a combination of family surnames Chapman & McCallum (see heritage question below)
* Chappy -- A spin off of Chapman given to me back in colleh when I was a TKE

3 parts of your heritage:

* Scottish -- from my great grandfather on my fathers side
* Scottish -- from my great grandfather on my fathers mothers side
* Scottish (the remaining 1/4 is British) -- from my mothers grandparents

3 things that scare me:

* The intentional political & religious divide in this country
* Snakes -- hate them...hate them... hate them....hate them... hate them...
* Losing T -- No, not splitting up but when the day comes that one of us passes away

3 of your everyday essentials:

* Redken Clean Lift 07
* Black coffee -- 1/2 decaf & 1/2 full octane blended
* My Franklin-Covey Monarch Dayplanner (it is the glue that holds me together)

3 things you are wearing right now:

* A bronze v-neck Nautica tee-shirt
* Ratty no-name shorts I've had for too many years but can't part with
* Lacoste Pour Homme

3 of your favorite songs:

* A Love That Will Never Grow Old - Emmylou Harris
* Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order
* Mad World - Gary Jules

3 things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:

* Pride in appearance -- no matter the age or size any woman can be beautiful with a little effort
* The ability to be bitchy without being mean or cruel -- I LOVE bitchy women
* Nice tits -- I no desire to touch them but I love seeing them in a sweater or nice fitting top

3 things you want in a relationship (other than real love) :

* Loyalty
* Humor
* Honesty

3 of your favorite hobbies:

* Shopping -- clothes, home decor, books, groceries....so long as I can find a bargain
* Playing on the internet -- playing games, reading blogs, sending emails, doing research
* Decorating my home or garden

3 Places you want to go:

* San Francisco -- again & again...I never tire of this wonderful city
* Italy
* London

3 things you want to do before you die:

* Get my Masters and either teach, counsel, or work in Social Services
* Have a book published
* Meet some of my favorite bloggers in person and give them a big hug

3 ways that you are stereotypically a male:

* Put my hands down my pants as soon as I hit the couch (gotta protect the boys ya know)
* Pee standing up (99% of the time anyway) -- and I ALWAYS raise the seat
* Think about sex A LOT

2 truths and 1 lie (in any order):

* Worked in a male strip club, The Lemon Peel, and had a picture taken with Caroline Cossey aka Tula
* Hiked Mount Everest
* Drank awful champagne and smoked a joint with Bono and several lesser known band members in a limo back in the late 80's

3 people you would like to take this survey:

Anyone who is up to the challenge


Straight men, you've been warned


Police are warning all heterosexual men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach.

After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women, to whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage."

Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females. Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.

If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the phone book.

Click HERE for a video to see how beer works on unsuspecting men.


After the raging storm comes a calm....

....as to how long it lasts is anyone's guess.

Where I left off: #2 CW (the sweetest, most loyal friend I have in this city) cannot lie. She tells me that her gut instinct is work until the day I get back from my cruise and then quit without notice. And who can blame her? After EX CW was raked over the coals #2 PP turned all their attention to discrediting this girl. The morning of the meeting from Hell I knew something was up when #2 CW was 15 minutes late and hadn't called me. Everyone else was there and we were waiting on her to start. So I called her on my cell (from a bathroom no doubt for privacy!) and she said a major family crisis came up and that there was no way she could be there. Knowing her as I do I knew something bad was going on that and couldn't attend the meeting. This girl does not neglect her duties or obligations. She simply doesn't have it in her. So the second -- and I mean instantly -- I announced to the group that something had come up and #2 CW wouldn't be joining us #2 PP went on a rampage. WTF? This was supposed to be a typical meeting so why would it matter? I could take notes and fill her in. This should have been my first clue.

Back to #2 CW telling me she was going to quit. Honestly I can't and don't blame her for feeling this way. #2 PP has been bashing her every chance she gets and to anyone who will listen. I'm hearing this from not just my office but from other people in the company AND mutual friends of #2 PP and myself. OK, this is just wrong. Anyway, #2 CW and I talk for a long time and ultimately decide to let things cool off and figure out how to get through the next two weeks. We've had countless conversations trying to work out the dynamics of what had happened; how this came about; and WHY #2 PP was being so cruel. (For this weekend we've agreed to not even discuss it because it truly is a bunch of orchestrated BS with an agenda of lies, greed, and a maniacal egoist on a mission.

Fast forward a bit: Thursday, as I've said, was an emotional roller coaster. One minute things are looking up and then another bomb is dropped. Countless calls from #2 PP saying that things are going to work out in one breath.... more criticism of the team and now mainly #2 CW, and endless "I love yous." I thought for sure that I'd be left alone after the office closed. I mean how damn much misery can one person inflict on another? Surely it gets tiring after a while even for a masochist like #2 PP. Guess what? I walk in the door at 5:30 and the cell rings. I don't even have to tell you who it is -- #2 PP and there is a company VP on the phone. Yes, a 3-way call -- just what I needed. This time the bitching is about a complaint #2 PP received from another person in our company. OMG this could be a story in itself as the complainer is...well...I'm not even going there. Suffice it to say that even #2 PP finds this person difficult to deal with and calls a "troubled individual". So we yap (no, I just listen and defend) for a good 20 minutes when #2 PP starts bashing on #2 CW. I immediately say, " WE ARE NOT GOING THERE. DROP IT." and for once #2 PP listens. But the bashing doesn't end it just moves to someone else -- the right hand man of #1 PP who I am going to refer to as RHM. Yep, now there is a whole new victim.

For 10 minutes I hear how "worthless, mean, trouble maker, what an asshole, rude, incompetent" person RHM is. The truth is that RHM can be crude, yells a lot, and can come across as an asshole -- he'll even admit to it! But I see him everyday and incompetent, worthless, or mean he is not. Hell, he makes #2 CW cry sometimes with the cussing & yelling but at the end of the day we all know he has only the best intentions and a good heart. This guy would give a stranger the shirt off his back in a second. Anyway, #2 PP goes on and on about how --- now get this --- they are offended that #1 PP and RHM are trying to discredit me???!!!! "Mainly RHM because he is trying to sabotage your credibility with #1 PP and doesn't like you", then adds, "It could be because you're gay but I think it's because he's jealous. I am going to talk to #1 PP about getting rid of RHM. It's in his best interest." (planting seeds of doubt) WHOA. So now #2 PP has told me another blatant lie --- RHM is the one who insisted that I be placed in charge. AND RHM is not jealous of anyone. Furthermore, RHM is not homophobic. If he has a problem with someone he will damn well get right in your face and tell you. He doesn't sneak around. What you see is what you get. Anyway, I finally tell #2 PP that my dog is about to shit on the floor if I don't let him out and then I am sending them the bill for the cleaner and I hang up.

OK, so a pattern is evolving here: #2 PP is trying to tear apart any alliances and goodwill between me and everyone involved with this project. For almost a week #2 PP has dropped comments that so & so has "sold me out" and so & so "can't be trusted"; "#1 PP has lost faith in my loyalty and dedication; RHM wants me gone BUT #2 PP "is telling me these things because they real, really love me and cherish my friendship." Do ya'll see where this is going?

After I hang up the phone and let the dog out I go back to my study and just sit there. Then I start thinking...doubting....mistrusting EVERYONE left in this project but #2 CW & #3 CW. Maybe #1 PP & RHM really do want me gone? Maybe they really do think I am lazy? This goes on in my head for a good ten minutes. Then I realize that I can't go on like this. I have nothing to lose but a job --- which is starting to look very bleak and I'm considering walking from anyway. So, I decide to do something -- I need to test #1 PP & RHM to see if they are still loyal to me or if they are going to sell me out.

So I call RHM on his cell. I start by saying "I am going out on a limb here and trusting you", immediately RHM raises his voice, "Pookie, dammit, you KNOW YOU CAN TRUST ME. You always have and you always can." He was offended (or was pretending to be offended) that I doubted his loyalty. I continued by telling him that given everything that was going on that I felt he needed to know something. I wanted to warn him that #2 PP was apparently tapering off the attack against my team and that now HE was the target. I didn't go into too much detail - just enough of what #2 PP told me to get a reaction from him. He laughed in typical RHM fashion. "Do you think that I give a shit what #2 PP thinks? #2 PP is crazy as hell and I know it and you know it and #1 PP knows it. Hell, EVERYONE KNOWS IT!." Then he told me to go have 3-4 drinks -- that I needed it. To get some rest and he'd see me in the morning.

OK, the test was in place. Two things were going to happen. He was going to tell #1 PP and they would pass on my "warning" to #2 PP to use as leverage for getting rid of me OR he would tell #1 PP and they would have a laugh about it because they know how #2 PP is. Well, Friday...Saturday..and now Sunday morning has come and went and no call from #2 PP about my calling RHM. Trust me, if #2 PP knew I called RHM and told him about our conversation I would have heard about it by now. Even more so I would have been blasted for telling him.

Now I HATE, HATE, HATE testing people. I find it offensive and cruel. But at this point and given everything that has occurred I had to know. It was the only way I could look #1 PP or RHM in the face and ever trust them again. Now I know. I am respected by them and important to them. And now I know for certain that #2 PP has a big time agenda. I'll share my theory on that in another post and AFTER a few more things transpire.

I knew on Friday that either I was going to be busted for leaking information to RHM and a deeper level of Hell was going to swallow me up or things were going to be a bit smoother. With a deep (and hesitant) sigh of relief I can say it is the latter. Friday began the healing of my immediate wounds so I could prepare for the next battle. I'm leaving town in one week. Our next scheduled meeting was set for the time I was going to be gone. So I call #1 PP (who I feel I can trust again) and ask if we can move the meeting up a week. I really need to be there. #1 PP immediately agrees and tells me he'd already decided to to that. "I want you there. You're too important not to be there" -- I love being showered with love.

So I send out an email to everyone on CW/PP list and say that per #1 PP that we are meeting a week sooner. I reiterated that I was going on a cruise and "didn't want to interfere with anyone's schedule" but felt it important that I be there. The replies start pouring in immediately. All but the reply from #1 PP. Everyone agrees to the new date, everyone is glad to accommodate me, and everyone looks forward to the meeting. THEN I get a reply from #2 PP. At this point I dread and I mean DREAD even checking that email account especially when I see something in the inbox from #2 PP. The reply was short; in all caps; bold; and cc: to everyone on the list: "OF COURSE I CAN BE THERE. I WAS JUST THINKING HOW WE CAN'T HAVE A MEETING WITHOUT YOU. YOU'RE TOO IMPORTANT!" Whew......

THEN, about an hour later I get another reply to the same email from #2 PP without the cc: to everyone but me. "Pookie, there is no way you can miss out on this vacation. You've worked too hard and you NEED this trip. I love you, #2PP"

I've not received an email or call from #2 PP since.

Friday at work was busy but productive. I was by myself in the office and didn't go to lunch, let the dog out (T came home and did it), or even pee the whole day. No lie -- I never even took a pee break. I was there for 9 1/2 hours and it was a wonderful day.

Saturday I worked with #3 CW (now a FT team member since EX CW left) and we had a busy but wonderful day. I asked her if we could spend one hour talking about #2 PP and all the ugliness of the past few weeks and then can we not mention it again. She hugged my neck and agreed. What was interesting is that during that one hour we compared a lot of mental notes. #2 PP had been trying to discredit myself, #2 CW , EX CW, #1 PP, and RHM to her through quick calls and emails. I was only briefly bashed but everyone else was thoroughly raked over the coals. Especially #2 CW. Well, the thing I adore about #3 CW is that she has known #2 PP for years and doesn't believe a word that comes out of their mouth. Then, until I left early, we laughed and had a good time being together.

This drama is far from over but it appears as if the first battle is over. There is a lot of underlying issues that will arise which will ultimately cause #2 PP lots of grief. If #2 PP ever says a negative word about RHM there will be hell to pay. #1 PP and RHM have been close friends & business partners for 20 years and if #1 PP tries to come between that then ....LOL...it is going to be ugly. I just hope and pray that when (and it will) happens I can have a ring side seat. #1 PP is very loyal to RHM and vice versa so no one is going to come between that -- especially #2 PP.

The good things from all this:

* #2 CW and I are closer than ever
* #3 CW and I will be working together much more
* Effective immediately I am going to be working more but will be paid considerably more
* My trust of #1 PP & RHM is even stronger
* Most importantly myself and everyone else are going to see #2 PP for what they really are --- I've seen to that. Without going into detail I've set something in motion that will eventually teach #1 PP a huge lesson. It won't be today but it could be next week or next month. Lets just say that I've given #1 PP just enough proverbial rope to tie a noose. Eventually their greed and manipulative nature is going to cause them to hang themself. As I've said before - Payback can a real bitch and when push comes to shove so can I.

I plan on posting something later today that has nothing to do with this recent nightmare. I've purged my ill feelings through this blog and I am ready to take a baby step forward.

Thanks to everyone who has left a supportive comment, sent an email, or said a prayer. I feel your love and I'm sending it right back to ya. (((((((((((smooches)))))))))))))



I've decided in this post not to cast an actor (OK -- actress because I like bitchy women better) to play the role of Pookie in my Made-for-TV-movie. The movie isn't going to happen for two reasons: 1) No network would have the balls to broadcast it, for Christ sake NBC canceled The Book Of Daniel because it was too racy -- they blame it on poor ratings! and 2) there isn't an actor alive who would go through the shit I have the past week(+) even if it meant they got a paycheck. So instead I'm going to just tell you what's been going on. A picture may say a thousand words but this one just barely offers a quick personal note in a Hallmark greeting card.

Back & forth accusations, meetings, harsh emails & words, emotional blood-letting, brain rape, stomping on hearts, destruction of morale, an egotistical company owner with personal agendas, so called "friends" lying for personal gain and true colors of a persons soul rising to the surface. That has been my last 4 days.

Let me share with you snippet or two from an email I received at 10:30pm 2 days ago from my "close friend" of 10 years AKA #2 PP. About an hour before this was sent to me (and my team) we'd ( #2 PP and myself) talked on the phone about how loved and appreciated I was personally and "how dedicated and professional I was compared to 90% of the people (#2 PP) has ever known in 30 years of business" ..."how I was the hardest worker and most productive person".... "Amazing how hard you work and and never complain"....."you make it difficult for me because I always have to compare everyone else to your ethics and standards and no one else can match you".... The call ended with my being told "I love you so much and value you more than you will ever know. You have always been there for me and I consider you to be one of my closest friends"....

Here is the email in part:

...You were so fortunate to have this project and you have never really acted appreciative by keeping yourselves informed and getting really involved. You are all "takers" and not "givers" I think it has really come back to haunt you. I think that you have covered for each other and tried to just get by. I don't blame XXXX for being upset; you should all be upset with yourselves. It isn't just XXXX, he is just the most lethargic and he has a right to be after all of these years. The rest of you are just lazy! ...... You all seem to do whatever it takes to "just get by" You are so lethargic about it all and it shows. It really does and it is embarrassing!.....You are an embarrassment to me personally & professionally.....You are the company joke. NO, YOU ARE THE JOKE OF THE INDUSTRY".....

This email was sent to everyone on my team and #1 PP. I really don't have to say a single word to express how shocked, betrayed, and livid I was.

Literally, I was on the phone with my "close friend", #2 PP, one minute after I read this email.
I called with the full intention of telling #2 PP to go and fuck themself and then give notice that I was quitting. The first sentence out of my mouth after I got the "hello?" on the receiving end of my call was: "I don't give a good goddamn what time it is or what you the hell you are in the middle of WE ARE GOING TO TALK. NOW."

For 45 minutes I blasted #2 PP like I have never blasted someone in my entire life. It was the single worst phone conversation I've engaged in since my phone rang at 3:45 am on 5/23/1996 telling me that my father had died. What resulted was a full denial behind of the "true intention" of that email and more lip service about how "much I was loved and valued." #2 PP said that the intention of the email wasn't to "belittle my contribution" or "shed any negative light on me & my team at all" it was constructive criticism intended for the other members of the team and for "me to know that I am so valuable"...yada yada yada.

I could go on for hours. The lies, bullshit, attempt to sugar-coat the situation, and faux flattery of me was sickening. Well, guess what? Me, being dreadfully tired and emotionally drained from a week(+) of living hell made peace with #2 PP! Yes! I was an idiot. I fell for it. I never, ever for one second stopped defending my co-workers and eventually heard nothing from #2 PP but praise for all of us. More bullshit. But after living on 4-5 hours of sleep per night for over a week I accepted it (albeit hesitantly) and with an "I love you too" hung up the phone. I popped and extra Xany and slept for about 6 hours.

The next day, Thursday:

I get into the office (an hour early) and #1 CW (a co-worker/former office manager/filthy rich and doesn't need to work anyway) is there in shorts............. cleaning out their desk. We talked for a while and I accepted why they were leaving. #1 CW tells me that they have a call into #2 PP and is going to tell them that they quit. Well, the phone rings and it's #2 PP screaming and cussing that they are on their way over to the office and that if anyone is upset with "the email" they can just leave and not to let the door hit them in the ass on the way out. #1 Cw and I laugh from exhaustion and disbelief. At this point #1 CW hadn't even read the email! They were quitting based on all the BS of the previous 3 days.

45 minutes later #2 PP shows up sweet as pie with compliments and praise pouring from their mouth onto the floor like vomit after a night of drinking Bailey's Irish Cream --- sickeningly sweet and offensive. #1 CW and I couldn't get a word in for 20 minutes with all the "love" being showered upon us. Finally, #1 CW breaks the news that they are leaving. HELLO!? The big box; shorts; and the wall now empty of awards and plaques behind the desk should be a clue!
A sweet smile comes across my friends (ha!) face. Jesus!??????????????? The sum of it was an exchange of kind words between those two for a few minutes and then #2 PP leaving for a meeting across town. #1 CW (now EX CW) and I laughed our asses off. EX CW looked at me and said "that bitch has been crazy for years and everyone in this city knows it" and we laughed some more. We say our good-byes (as co-workers but not friends) and I'm left alone.

The next thing I do is run to the phone and call #2 CW begging them UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE'S DO NOT READ THE EMAIL that was sent the night before. #2 CW said they had no intention of it as they "knew it was just going to be more BS and they weren't ruining their day off." No sooner had I hung up the phone when #3 CW called me on my cell screaming "What the fuck wrong with #2 PP?! That email is nothing but fucking lies...." . Dear readers & friends you can but imagine where this call went. I told #3 CW that I was just about to call them and tell them to call me before reading it. Too late.

An hour later #2 CW comes into the office just to talk for a sec (still hasn't read the email) and I fill them in on EX CW quitting, the meeting with EX CW & #2 PP earlier that morning, and a summary of the email from hell. I go to make coffee and return a call when #2 CW calls out "I'm just going to read the damn thing and get it over with. Nothing is going to bother me today and nothing that #2 PP says surprises me" ............that's what you think. To summarize this: #2 CW is shocked & breaks into a fit of laughter. They forward the email to their spouse. Spouse replies with "WTF?" and #2 CW and I talk about it. I finally just ask #2 CW to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth, "you're quitting too aren't you?"

To be continued.............

I have to go to work. Yes, I still work there. Long story. I'll explain later. For now accept my apologies for typos, spelling & grammatical errors as I don't have time to run a spell/grammar check.

But then again my spelling & grammar always sucks and I have a minor in English! HA! True.


Meeting, schmeeting

Again with another meeting. Today's is at 8:30. It feels like the past week has been one long continuous meeting. Nothing at all is resolved from from the past 3 and I can't imagine this one solving anything. More lip service...more innuendo and blatant accusations...and more drama.

Thankfully we have an architect coming to this one so there will be a reprieve for a few minutes at least. My dining room table is covered with drafts & plans I've been marking up fast & furious. People want change I am going to give them some. Lots of it and it's not going to be cheap. All this bickering and negativity over the past week has cost me sleep and peace of mind so the least I can is return the favor with a few thousand dollars worth of revisions. My red pen and highlighter is obscenely low on ink. This makes me smile. If I can't drive a vehicle through the front of a building to drive home a point I can damn sure drive people crazy with lot's of tiny details. Payback is a bitch and so am I.

So around 9:00 this morning I want everyone to think about me sitting all innocent and sweet in another meeting. Perfect Pookie will smile, make affirmative comments, and nod his pretty blonde head in agreement just to pass the time. And then I will ever so gently hand over my revisions which will make my life a lot easier but drive others crazy. The pen (my red one) really is more powerful than the sword. Or Betty Broderick's SUV in this case.


Casting Meredith Baxter in the role of Pookie

Lee Remick may be dead but Meredith Baxter isn't and I'm starting to feel a lot like I've been cast as one of her most famous roles as Betty Broderick. So I'm casting her as the lead in the Made-for-TV movie about my life. Did you know that I'm now a maniacal raving bitch with no regard for anyone else? Yep.

To rehash the past 8 hours it has been a constant flurry of brand new "he said...she said" phone calls and emails. The bottom line is that #2 PP (Paycheck Provider) refuses to take any responsibility for their actions & comments over the past 2 years. For many years and as many projects #2 PP has let a certain someone get away with anything short of murder. They can come and go as they please; shrug off their duties; abandon work with no repercussion; and basically do very little and be paid very well. #2 PP lets this happen.

After #1 PP had gotten a gut full of this nonsense they contacted #2 PP and said, "enough is enough..do something", but #2 PP is obviously scared to step up to bat and confront this person (which baffles all of us!). But do they do what #1 PP asks? Hell no. They pass this lovely chore onto us lowly (but well paid) worker bees. The upheaval in the office and resulting changes are thrown back into my lap and that of one other co-worker while #2 PP sits back with doe-eyes and acts surprised. Bull shit.

Mean while, back in Gotham City, myself and one other person are looking like we've deliberately and maliciously set up this whole situation for some extra cash and out of spite. Again, more bull shit.

For the record I am off work today -- I was off yesterday but I've spent every spare damn minute involved in this unfolding drama. So much for R&R! Every time we (myself and the other office Betty Broderick) try and do something to make things better it just gets worse. Well, I give up. Perhaps the real Betty Broderick was onto something. No, not killing someone but being a raving bitch and not backing down. Hell, if I'm being cast as a Betty then why not at least have the fun of actually being one? I could throw a very dramatic tantrum. I could leave vicious, screaming voice mails. I could throw things out of a window and then set them on fire. And I could also drive a vehicle through the front door of a building. In fact this is all starting to look very appealing about right now.

No, I suppose I'll have to just deal with this real life drama and hire Meredith Baxter to have all the fun playing me being crazy. Going to jail isn't an option and I really don't have it in me to be that crazy but it's damn fun watching someone else do it on TV. I think I'll just rent A Woman Scorned. Meredith Baxter gets to play the biggest bitch on earth and Betty Broderick, well, she just gets to sit in jail.

Updates to come. In the meantime I promise not to drive any vehicles into buildings or set anything on fire. I'll just be watching it on the TV and waiting to see what happens next from the office.


Lee Remick, Why'd ya have to go and die?

My life could be a Made-for-TV movie....but let it's the kind of movie that will make your head hurt from screaming, laughing and crying. If only Lee Remick were still alive she could strap on a...well you know.... and play Me in the story of my life the past week..... But more on that later.

First off thanks again for the kind & sincere comments & emails regarding the loss of our Niki. It was a horrible few days but we've adjusted and it gets better each day. The worst time for me is dinner time. It's hard making just one "doggie dinner" as opposed to two and it's hard to sit at the dining room table and not have Nikki 1/2 under my chair waiting on a crumb to drop and my having to be an acrobat to step over him you get up. Damn I miss him but at least I know he's in a better place and not suffering. Hugs to all of you. And not weak, society hugs (Lord know I see enough of those as it is) but big warm hugs where I hold on for as long as you let me. Your kindness has made a difference. Thank you.

So now for the current drama:

Big changes in my office. Long story short is that last week we had a meeting that started out really, really bad and ended up with myself and one of my co-workers getting more responsibility and more pay. One minute I'm sitting there thinking to myself that it's time to looking for a new job and the next I'm offered more money for a job well done. Go figure.

Totally out of nowhere came all these massive changes. I can adapt to just about anything so that's not a problem but someone else isn't so happy with all this and I feel really bad for them. As big a bitch I as admit to being I don't like seeing a very likeable person with a good heart hurt. Sadly it's a part of life in any business but none the less it just sucks. I told the #1 PP (Paycheck Provider) today that I was just going to spike the water supply to our office with a little Vodka and Xanax so everyone can just be calm & happy. #1 PP & his right-hand man just laughed. I guess they think I'm kidding. OK --- I am kidding. No, seriously I am.

Backing up a bit #2 PP and I (who are also good friends) spent the entire weekend shooting back & forth emails laced with vinegar & piss. This is nothing new as we are both very strong willed and don't back down when we think (know) we're right. Finally, Sunday night we kissed & made up via our computers but I know damn good and well that a sequel is coming soon. Neither one us will let the other one have the last damn word. It's a good thing we love and respect each other is all I can say.

Today, I spent the whole morning anxious, pissed off, and guilty that while I'm going to make more money someone else is going to take a cut in pay. It's not my fault this is happening and I didn't ask for it but it's that whole wanting everyone to be happy thing even when they bring bad things on themselves. I suppose I'll be able to appreciate the honor, and it is an honor, that's been given to me and enjoy the fruits of my labor once the dust settles. Until then I'll save the Vodka and Xanax for myself --- In my very best Lee Remick no doubt. Truly, no one could play the victim or troubled soul as good as she. Rest in Peace, dear Lee. TV just isn't the same without you.

On a cheerier note my blog has been given a very nice review by Bloggy Award. I didn't win myself a smart looking banner for my site but I did get a favorable review and that makes me feel really good. Thanks, Bloggy Award! You can check out my review here.

I promise to check out all my buddies blogs and leave a smart comment at each real soon. I just have to get through the next couple of days...

Well, that's about all for today. I'm feeling very much the need for a cigarette and a nice Martini ala Miss Remick.


We are so blessed

I cannot recount how many times the past two days I've looked at T and told him how fortunate we are to have the friends that we do. Losing Nikki was such a sad experience to go through. Any pet owner knows that it's like losing a part of yourself and a part of your family. In many ways it's more difficult initially than losing a family member because your pet is with you 24-7.

During the past 48 hours we've been showered with kind and love from near and far. Fellow bloggers have left the kindest of replies and emailed which means so much. Our local friends have been amazing. We've had beautiful flowers and cards delivered to the house, delicious (comforting) foods and treats dropped off and many, many hugs. We are truly blessed to have such kind and caring people in our lives.

A few weeks back we'd planned a dinner party at our house and given the untimely loss of Nikki it was too late to cancel. Under normal situations the preparing, cooking, cleaning etc.. involved in hosting friends can be stressful to say the least. I'm a perfectionist and want everything just so-so. But there was something healing and comforting about preparing for last nights get together. As I cleaned, shopped and cooked it brought a peace to me. Every little detail was like a self-hug to myself. I felt embraced by a project of nourishment and beauty which is just what I needed.

The Dinner Party:

I was so brain dead yesterday morning that I had no idea what I was going to cook. So I called my mom and said "let's go shopping" and as always wont to shop she agreed. We went to a home store and I found some funky little white canape/bread/dessert plates and a dozen white hotel-restaurant napkins. The dinner plates I was trying to match are from IKEA and are the kind you see in trendy restaurants. About 16" round with a 2" flat lip and a 1" deep flat bowl. I'd bought a set of the coolest multi-use glasses which are clear with white/frosted geometric shapes from top to bottom so my white theme was set. I wanted the candles, food, flowers and personality of the guests to be the color.

For the meal I made a chicken and sausage gumbo. I was going to do a stuffed chicken dish but when I read that the temperature was going to drop to the 30's I knew a hearty stew type meal was more appropriate. I took great care in sauteeing the meats and veggies. We're always watching calories but for the night I threw all thoughts of low-fat weight to the wind and cooked with real butter and rich ingredients. The rue for the gumbo was rich, smooth and heavenly. I made homemade garlic biscuits which I brushed with butter and they were lighty & fluffy. The salad was crisp, fresh and full of all sorts of finely chopped/torn ingredients. The finale was a rich chocolate cake made with butter (of course) had a bottom crust of pecans and coconut. And the cake itself was dotted with globs of sweet, gooey, buttery cream cheese. It was sinfully good if I do say so myself.

Our guests were an older couple and another gentleman we through them and adore. Ramone and Louis are from the "old Cuba" as they like to say. They were born into affluent families & raised in a country rich with history and have been friends for many, many years. Louis's partner of 25+ years, John, is a delightful man with a Southern Baptist background who like myself escaped the church relatively unscathed. Any time we get together we have wonderful conversations and many laughs., But last night was unique. Whether it was the fire going in the fireplace, the music, the glow from the candles throughout the house, the good wine & food...something was just extra special. The laughs were fuller and the conversation more animated. It wasn't forced to make T & I feel better it just "was" more perfect than usual. Perhaps I was just more receptive to emotions and open to feelings I'm not sure. But it was a perfect evening leaving me even more aware of how blessed we are to have the life we have.

I've been off the schedule for work for the past few days but I return this afternoon and I look forward to it more than ever. Somewhere in the loss and sadness of the last few days I've found a desire to live each day and appreciate each day a little more than the last. That said, I've got a hundred things to do before I go into the office so I'm off.

Wishing everyone a beautiful Sunday and sending out hugs.


Not a good 48 hours

Since 5:00am yesterday we've been dealing with some major problems with our 14 y.o. Chow, Nikki. He's in major distress and having a hard time breathing. He's been to the vet for blood work and x-rays and spent last night in a 24 hour pet hospital for observation. I spoke with the hospital vet and even with doggie-Morphine and anti-anxiety medication it's not getting better. We're going to pick him up at 7:00am and then back to the vet to see what to do next. Nikki's been our baby for 14 years and if it's his time then all I can do is hand him up to God.

Dammit this is so hard.

9:40 - We got home about 30 minutes ago. We ended up making the only decision we could. The consensus of two vets was that he'd suffered some sort of neurological seizure and at his age it was unlikely there was anything that could be done for him. His suffering was brief and is over. God knows we'll miss him and it's going to be hard without him but we will see him again one day. That I know. The weird thing is thing is that I could feel it the moment he was set free. An instant peace came over me and I knew that he'd been greeted on the other side by his sister we'd lost 7 years ago to cancer.

Nikki, baby, we love you and will miss you but know you're OK now.


Coming Soon to a GOP theater near you

A broken promise, a sock, and a tanning booth

So for 6 months now I've bitched at my young blog buddy Jay about his going to the tanning beds. I've told him countless times how dangerous they are and that they'll turn your skin into the consistency of cracked shoe leather. Furthermore, I [promised that I'd never step foot into a tanning salon again. So what do I do? I get a one month membership for myself. But I have a reasonable explanation: It's just for a month and then I'll go back to the spray tans and I am going to the Eastern Caribbean for a week need a solid base tan so I don't burn. Well, as it turns out I got the burn anyway.

So I call up the tanning salon I used to go to. Actually it's a chain of salons with about 5 locations but this one was closest to my home. Come to find out I still had my "Gold" membership with them (from 10 years ago? Hello?) and got a smart discount for the month - $55 for unlimited sssions in the premium booths. Here I go on my lunch hour up to the salon. I hand over my Visa card and fill out the required update forms. When the time comes I'm pointed to the Turbo stand-up booth which I requested. I have this little thing now about laying down in the beds after reading how a salon in Atlanta, Georgia had an infestation with pubic crabs. Yep, people were getting crabs from laying in the beds. Ghastly I know.

Enter the booth: I've done this before so I know the routine. I strip down to all my glory and neatly lay my clothes on the teeny, tiny little chair. (This is where it gets good) I've had a bit of experience with the stand up beds so I learned a few tricks along the way for protecting the "boys" from overexposure. I put on my goggles to protect my eyes and then I put on my tanning sock. (Can you see where this is going?) I'd brought with me a clean sock that I place over my equipment. Yes, I could wear a jock or a bathing suit but I prefer no lines thank you very much. Besides, I'd learned the hard way (no pun intended) that the big guy and the boys tan VERY quickly and will turn about 6 shades darker than the rest of me if I keep them exposed. Not a pretty sight. So into the booth I go wearing only goggles and my sock.

As soon as I hit the power button the lights came on and completely surrounded me with warmth. The motor of this powerful machine kicked in and then from out of nowhere (the floor of the booth actually) came the wind. I'm not talking a soft breeze like a personal fan may provide but a serious and constant flow of wind. Enough wind to cause my hair to stand up and my sock stand up. Yes folks the black dress sock I'd attached was blowing all over the place. It was then that I started cracking up. I guess you'd have to experience this for yourself but there is something very funny about seeing a long black sock flopping all over the place uncontrollably.

Now let me clarify something here for the record. It so happens that I grabbed 1/2 of a pair of unusually long dress socks for the occasion. Had I picked a normal size sock I can assure you that there would have been no excess material flying about. Enough said.

I can only hope that the machine was loud enough to block out my 9 minute session of constant laughing but the attendant did give me an odd look as I left. I'm guessing that he either heard me laughing and thinks I am truly insane or he saw the long black so that I carried in my hand.


Anti-Brokeback Mountain Reviews found on the web

I've actually decided to create a seperate blog just for the stupid things people say in the name of God or whilst promoting their high moral standards.

Quotes & Quips from the Moral Majority

I'll continue to add the delightful reviews of Brokeback Mountain (and other films) as I find them.


I Do Solemnly Swear

That unlike some people I am going to do my very best to accomplish all the things I've been putting off. I will make an assertive effort to complete the following tasks with dignity, honor, and resolve. I maintain that I will not intentionally mislead, lie to, harm, or deceive anyone as I strive to achieve my goals. Thank you and God Bless America.

1) Get my ass to the gym 4 times this week and every week there after. We leave in less than 3 weeks for our cruise and if I don't lose 10 pounds it's not going to be a pretty sight poolside with me in bathing trunks.

2) Get a one month membership to a tanning salon. Yes, Jay, I mean the kind with sun beds. I know I fuss at you for tanning all the time but if I don't get a base tan before we leave I'll not be able to perch myself on a floating beach mat in the Bahamas for an entire day without burning.

3) Register for my online continuing education and complete the course. I have to have my certificate by March 31st and I need to get this out of the way.

4) Bite the bullet and send in the dues for a 2006 membership to ASID. I don't need to join ASID but I'm a whore for the little credentials and I'm eligible for membership so why not?

5) Write a scathing editorial to my local newspaper about what a crappy job the county commission as a whole is doing. This is going to be a tough one because I'm friends with two of the commissioners. Perhaps I should call them and forewarn them?

6) Go to Cooks.com and pick out a menu for the dinner party T and I are having Saturday night. I want (need) to try something new. I suppose actually shopping for said dinner party would be nice too.

7) Make a hair appointment. My most recent highlights are still awesome but I'm ready for something a little shorter (spikier maybe?) and easier to do. Basically I don't want to spend more than 5 minutes on my hair. It's time for a change.

8) Call my accountant and then send off my 4th quarter 2005 tax bill. God I hate doing this. Especially since I know I'll have to write another damn check come April 15th. Guess I can't bitch too much as I made a lot more last year than I expected.

9) Call my friend Jennifer and apologize for not making her New Year's Eve party.

10) Post at least one comment on every single one of my favorite blogger's sites. This shouldn't be too hard as I always have something to say no matter how banal or outrageous. It's simply a matter of prioritizing and making the time for my buddies.

Well, folks that's my contribution to the blog world for the morning. I hope everyone has a great and productive day.

ps...I've added two fabulous new women to my fave blog list: Fightin' Mad Mary and Badaunt. Talk about sassy ladies with something to say! Mary has the best profile picture in the world and Badaunt has the kind of dry wit that makes grown men grab their testicles in fear. And, be sure and check out the first part of Scotty's review of Brokeback Mountain. It's one of the best I've seen.


Brokeback Mountain: My Review on Yahoo Movies

It's not a "gay" film is in fact a "relationship" film. And, judging by the lines out the door and the comments overheard as people were leaving it's bound to become a favorite from people of all walks of life.

The visuals and directing were superb. The plot stayed true to Annie Proulx's short story which is a feat in itself. And, the acting was well above average. In short Brokeback Mountain is an intriguing story about emotional and personal conflict within relationships. Period.

The banal protests and rants from religious extremists and self-anointed moralists should be ignored. This isn't a movie for the closed minded or less-enlightened in the world. If you’re decidedly anti-gay then don't waste your money on seeing the movie because you've already decided that you hate it. And don't bother posting trivial "reviews" when it's obvious you've not seen the film. A smart person can see right through your bigotry and agenda. Save your breath and just stay home and watch "wrasslin" or Pat Robertson on the 700 Club. You’ll be much happier for it.

But if you're of a mentality that allows you to enjoy fine film making and accept that there is a great big diverse world out outside your front door then enjoy Brokeback Mountain as the thought provoking, emotional and touching film that it’s intended to be.

Now that I've posted my truthful review let me elaborate for my friends & readers. T & I went with another couple (straight & married) and the theater was packed. The show started at 7:00 and we were there by 6:30 just in case there would be a crowd. By 6:45 the line was out the door and when we left it was even longer for the nest showing. Yes, there were many gay people but I was thrilled to see that the majority of people in line were either obviously married or coupled heterosexuals. I live in a college town so it wasn't unusual to see a lot of young people but given the amount of obvious straights one it made me feel like there was some hope for this world. That so many young people would choose to spend their money & Friday night watching a serious film as diverse as this one leads me to believe that perhaps the next generation will be more accepting and tolerant than the last.

The comments heard during the movie and afterwards leaving the theater were all positive and cohesive. There were plenty of appropriate laughs, sniffles, sighs and much talk of "winning Oscars". I hope that everyone who sees Brokeback Mountain will have as positive of an experience as I did.

Side note: The fundamentalist Christians and gay bashers are in full force admittingly not seeing the movie but rating it "F" just because they can. If you have a chance please take a moment AFTER you see it and give an HONEST review.


Friday comes but once a week and if I'm lucky so do I

Today started with my getting up way too early and then snuggling back into the bed as T was heading out the door for a meeting -- go figure. For about an hour and 1/2 I did one of my favorite things to do in bed --- I watched HGTV. I kid you not when I tell you that I saw the single most horrific design (if you can call it that) I've ever seen. Designer "Cabana Joe" (as if his self-anointed nickname isn't a dead give away that something bad is coming) refers to his style as "Polynesian Country". I call it Polyester(nesian) Crap. It was a nightmarish collection of straw rugs stapled to the ceiling, anything that would sit still long enough to be hot glued & covered with glossy seashells, and a mixture of floral & nautical fabrics that would make a legally blind person scream out in anguish. It wasn't just kitschy, whimsical, or trendy it was truly inherently wrong. This man trying to do to to interior design what Jonathon Antin has done to hair.

After the pain in my head stopped and I could see again I joined T, who had returned from his meeting, and went to the gym. No yoga today I did cardio. I have no feeling in my ass and my legs feel like rubber. Perhaps, I wonder, if this is a good time to revisit some old "moves" with T. He may be a lucky, lucky boy tonight if he plays his cards right (and I drink enough wine).
We are going to see Brokeback Mountain at 7:00 so who knows what the evening has in store....

Well, if anyone remembers (cares) how excited I was a few months back to have found what we thought was going to be the perfect housekeeper I would like you to forget everything I said. Things went down hill. Fast. Miss Perfect went from being prompt, thorough and reliable to being the poster child of irresponsibility. The last time she bothered to show up for an appointment was way before Christmas and that's after I called her to remind her of our appointment. My exact words were "Are you planning to grace us with your presence this week? I've not heard from you in like 2 weeks and I was wondering if you were still alive". She was alive alright -- in spirit maybe -- and she did show up. But I swear I worked harder after she left than had I not paid her to come in the first place. OK, getting to the point I've hired another housekeeper. This time it's a very chic & lovely young women from Russia whose husband is a 2 time Olympic gymnast. She came this morning for the whole "you interview me and I'll interview you" thing and it looks like it's going to be a good match. She's twice as expensive as the last girl but she guarantees being her for 5 hours or she'll drop the rate. As a bonus she even folds clothes and empties the dishwasher! Did I mention that her hubby met her in front of our house to pick up their baby and that he is F-I-N-E? Time will tell and so will I so stay tuned.

After the new housekeeper left I spent a good 30 minutes on the phone with Royal Caribbean trying to iron out some excursions for our trip next month. T is going to be flying about the tops of trees at Loterie Farm from a cable while I'll be taking a Margiot Yacht and Shopping trip. I do not fly from trees, sorry. Give me my Visa card and I can do plenty of damage without having to worry about breaking some bone or the other. I'm hoping that the shopping in St. Thomas & St. Maarten is better than that in Nassau. One straw market is enough for me. I want duty-free Armani & Gucci at rock-bottom prices. Regardless, I know we'll have a great time and I can't wait until we set sail.

I guess that about sums it all up for today. If you've made it this far in the post then I'll wish you a great Friday evening.

Hugs & Cheers!



Gonna miss ya --- 1/8/06 UPDATE

Sangroncito's World as we know it is coming to an end. Damn.

As of 1/8/06 our friend and world-traveling hero Sangrocito is back in business.

Here we go...

Once again that bastard Pat Robertson opened his mouth and the feces just poured out. I wouldn't piss on that man if he were standing in front of me and on fire.



I've thought long and hard about my choices (sometimes in the shower...sometimes at my desk ---KIDDING) but I've made my decisions and they are final. I've broken them into categories which may or may not only make sense to me but what the hell it's my awards. That said here they are (in no particular order or fashion) for your viewing pleasure:

Most Thought Provoking Blogs: Hikaruland, Petunia McGillicuddy, Bougie Black Boy, Gran's On Bran, Swim Pig

Blogger(s) I'd love to meet for coffee or dinner & solve the world's problems with: Petunia McGillicuddy, Doris, Purple Twinkie, Swim Pig, Mr. Brian, Scott M, Mikell

Blogger(s) I'd Most Like To Meet For Drinks: Hikaru, Micah, Jay, Ben, Brett Cajun, Scotty, Sangroncito

Blogger(s) I'd Get Drunk & Dance On Tables With With If I met For Drinks: Hikaru, Micah, Jay, Brett Cajun, Scotty, Cola Boy, That Matt Guy

Blogger(s) I'd Like To Get In Trouble I With After Drinks If I Were Single: Hikaru, Moby, Brett Cajun, Ben (I feel so cheap & dirty.... Well, actually I don't)

Blogger That Always Makes Me Laugh Out Loud: Micah

Most Original Blogger Contest - Brett Cajun

Most Memorable (albeit somewhat frightening) Blog Post Of 2005: Mooncup Review by Doris

Best Blog Special Project (even thought I'm too chicken to participate) : HNT

Sweetest & Most Sincere Bloggers: PurpleTwinkie, Mr. Brian, Ethan, Doris

Most Interesting New Experiment: The 'Living Online' Experiment

Blogger With The Most Exotic Life: Sangroncito

Cutest Blog Couple Couple: Jay & Qboi

Blog Couple(s) Most Likely To See Their 15th Anniversary: Jay & Qboi / Scotty & Joel

Best Blogger Ass: Brett Cajun, Ethan, T (not that you'll ever see it)

Bitchiest Blogger(s) (and I mean this as a compliment): Micah, GayMadHousewife, EllaM, Cola Boy

Blogger(s) That Screams Raw Sex: Moby, Hikaru, Brett Cajun and my T (of course)

Blogger(s) If I could jump through the screen and hug this moment I would: Purple Twinkie, Petunia McGillicuddy

Favorite Post From My Own Blog In 2005: Barebacking 101

Edited 1/6/05: Blogger with that I'd not heard of until today but has "You GO girl" moxy & a great name : Badaunt.