whenTHEshitHITStheFANyouBETTERrunFORcover

I've decided in this post not to cast an actor (OK -- actress because I like bitchy women better) to play the role of Pookie in my Made-for-TV-movie. The movie isn't going to happen for two reasons: 1) No network would have the balls to broadcast it, for Christ sake NBC canceled The Book Of Daniel because it was too racy -- they blame it on poor ratings! and 2) there isn't an actor alive who would go through the shit I have the past week(+) even if it meant they got a paycheck. So instead I'm going to just tell you what's been going on. A picture may say a thousand words but this one just barely offers a quick personal note in a Hallmark greeting card.

Back & forth accusations, meetings, harsh emails & words, emotional blood-letting, brain rape, stomping on hearts, destruction of morale, an egotistical company owner with personal agendas, so called "friends" lying for personal gain and true colors of a persons soul rising to the surface. That has been my last 4 days.

Let me share with you snippet or two from an email I received at 10:30pm 2 days ago from my "close friend" of 10 years AKA #2 PP. About an hour before this was sent to me (and my team) we'd ( #2 PP and myself) talked on the phone about how loved and appreciated I was personally and "how dedicated and professional I was compared to 90% of the people (#2 PP) has ever known in 30 years of business" ..."how I was the hardest worker and most productive person".... "Amazing how hard you work and and never complain"....."you make it difficult for me because I always have to compare everyone else to your ethics and standards and no one else can match you".... The call ended with my being told "I love you so much and value you more than you will ever know. You have always been there for me and I consider you to be one of my closest friends"....

Here is the email in part:

...You were so fortunate to have this project and you have never really acted appreciative by keeping yourselves informed and getting really involved. You are all "takers" and not "givers" I think it has really come back to haunt you. I think that you have covered for each other and tried to just get by. I don't blame XXXX for being upset; you should all be upset with yourselves. It isn't just XXXX, he is just the most lethargic and he has a right to be after all of these years. The rest of you are just lazy! ...... You all seem to do whatever it takes to "just get by" You are so lethargic about it all and it shows. It really does and it is embarrassing!.....You are an embarrassment to me personally & professionally.....You are the company joke. NO, YOU ARE THE JOKE OF THE INDUSTRY".....

This email was sent to everyone on my team and #1 PP. I really don't have to say a single word to express how shocked, betrayed, and livid I was.

Literally, I was on the phone with my "close friend", #2 PP, one minute after I read this email.
I called with the full intention of telling #2 PP to go and fuck themself and then give notice that I was quitting. The first sentence out of my mouth after I got the "hello?" on the receiving end of my call was: "I don't give a good goddamn what time it is or what you the hell you are in the middle of WE ARE GOING TO TALK. NOW."

For 45 minutes I blasted #2 PP like I have never blasted someone in my entire life. It was the single worst phone conversation I've engaged in since my phone rang at 3:45 am on 5/23/1996 telling me that my father had died. What resulted was a full denial behind of the "true intention" of that email and more lip service about how "much I was loved and valued." #2 PP said that the intention of the email wasn't to "belittle my contribution" or "shed any negative light on me & my team at all" it was constructive criticism intended for the other members of the team and for "me to know that I am so valuable"...yada yada yada.

I could go on for hours. The lies, bullshit, attempt to sugar-coat the situation, and faux flattery of me was sickening. Well, guess what? Me, being dreadfully tired and emotionally drained from a week(+) of living hell made peace with #2 PP! Yes! I was an idiot. I fell for it. I never, ever for one second stopped defending my co-workers and eventually heard nothing from #2 PP but praise for all of us. More bullshit. But after living on 4-5 hours of sleep per night for over a week I accepted it (albeit hesitantly) and with an "I love you too" hung up the phone. I popped and extra Xany and slept for about 6 hours.

The next day, Thursday:

I get into the office (an hour early) and #1 CW (a co-worker/former office manager/filthy rich and doesn't need to work anyway) is there in shorts............. cleaning out their desk. We talked for a while and I accepted why they were leaving. #1 CW tells me that they have a call into #2 PP and is going to tell them that they quit. Well, the phone rings and it's #2 PP screaming and cussing that they are on their way over to the office and that if anyone is upset with "the email" they can just leave and not to let the door hit them in the ass on the way out. #1 Cw and I laugh from exhaustion and disbelief. At this point #1 CW hadn't even read the email! They were quitting based on all the BS of the previous 3 days.

45 minutes later #2 PP shows up sweet as pie with compliments and praise pouring from their mouth onto the floor like vomit after a night of drinking Bailey's Irish Cream --- sickeningly sweet and offensive. #1 CW and I couldn't get a word in for 20 minutes with all the "love" being showered upon us. Finally, #1 CW breaks the news that they are leaving. HELLO!? The big box; shorts; and the wall now empty of awards and plaques behind the desk should be a clue!
A sweet smile comes across my friends (ha!) face. Jesus!??????????????? The sum of it was an exchange of kind words between those two for a few minutes and then #2 PP leaving for a meeting across town. #1 CW (now EX CW) and I laughed our asses off. EX CW looked at me and said "that bitch has been crazy for years and everyone in this city knows it" and we laughed some more. We say our good-byes (as co-workers but not friends) and I'm left alone.

The next thing I do is run to the phone and call #2 CW begging them UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE'S DO NOT READ THE EMAIL that was sent the night before. #2 CW said they had no intention of it as they "knew it was just going to be more BS and they weren't ruining their day off." No sooner had I hung up the phone when #3 CW called me on my cell screaming "What the fuck wrong with #2 PP?! That email is nothing but fucking lies...." . Dear readers & friends you can but imagine where this call went. I told #3 CW that I was just about to call them and tell them to call me before reading it. Too late.

An hour later #2 CW comes into the office just to talk for a sec (still hasn't read the email) and I fill them in on EX CW quitting, the meeting with EX CW & #2 PP earlier that morning, and a summary of the email from hell. I go to make coffee and return a call when #2 CW calls out "I'm just going to read the damn thing and get it over with. Nothing is going to bother me today and nothing that #2 PP says surprises me" ............that's what you think. To summarize this: #2 CW is shocked & breaks into a fit of laughter. They forward the email to their spouse. Spouse replies with "WTF?" and #2 CW and I talk about it. I finally just ask #2 CW to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth, "you're quitting too aren't you?"

To be continued.............

I have to go to work. Yes, I still work there. Long story. I'll explain later. For now accept my apologies for typos, spelling & grammatical errors as I don't have time to run a spell/grammar check.

But then again my spelling & grammar always sucks and I have a minor in English! HA! True.