It should be a while before I see doctor Death
So, it would sure would be nice if I could get my breath
Well, I'm not the cryin', nor the whinin' kind
'til I hear the whistle of the 309, of the 309, of the 309
Put me in my box on the 309

Take me to the depot, put me to bed
Blow an electric fan on my gnarly ol' head
Everybody take a look, see, I'm doin' fine
Then load my box on the 309
On the 309, on the 309
Put me in my box on the 309

Hey, sweet baby, kiss me hard
Draw my bath water, sweep my yard
Give a drink of my wine to my jersey cow
I wouldn't give a hoot-and-nail for my journey now
On the 309, on the 309

I hear the sound of a railroad train
The whistle blows and I'm gone again
Hitman, take me higher than a Georgia pine
Stand back children, it's the 309
It's the 309, it's the 309
Put me in my box on the 309

A chicken in the pot and turkey in the corn
Ain't felt this good since Jubilee morn'
Talk about luck, well, I got mine
Asthma comin' down like the 309

Write me a letter, sing me a song
Tell me all about it, what I did wrong
Meanwhile, I will be doin' fine
Then load my box on the 309
On the 309, on the 309
Gonna get outta here on the 309

Hey ya'll and all that stuff

So I'm sitting here in a coffee shop over at the beach and there are all these folks from Georgia here for the game tomorrow -- Florida vs. Georgia in Jacksonville for those not in the know.

Anyway, it's been 11 years since I lived in Georgia and seeing so many of these people together in one location is a lot like going back in time. There's this rich, refined southern accent in the air that I'm not used to any more and I've just realized that I sort of miss it. *Sort of* -- Not enough to ever move back but just enough to appreciate my roots. The few people I've talked to have asked me where I'm from and when I reply "Georgia" they act surprised. I guess I've lost my accent and seeing as Floridians don't have an accent to speak of I'm sitting here wondering who do I sound like now?

Oh well, after a few drinks and a couple of hours of chatting with these folks I'm sure I'll pick some of it back for for a while at least.

Sunday we fly down to Ft. Lauderdale to see Babs. We're going to the Monday night show and I'm getting really excited. I forgot to purposely didn't bring a "nice shirt" or slacks so I'm going to have to find some little something to wear to the show. Dammit ;-) I don't do Tommy Bahamas so shopping around here is out of the question. What does one wear to a Barbara Streisand concert I wonder.

Anyhoo, hope everyone has a great weekend and GO GATORS!


Grab a shovel and a Rosary

The Blog graveyard is filling up and there ain't a damn thing we can do about it. I'd send cyber flowers with a lovely card but that doesn't seem appropriate. When someone makes the decision to axe their blog we have to respect it. We don't have to like it but we gotta respect it.

Sangrocito: Razing Borders and Sangrocito's World: Your adventures and insite inspired and awed me. I wish you the very best from the bottom of my heart.

Soup du Jour of the Day: At least I sleep beside you every night so I know all your secrets. At least I better know all your secrets.

The Dangerous Man and his RL love Danger Mouse: The cutest couple in the UK. I wish you both all the love; joy; and tenderness in the world. May your relationship always be blessed.

Petunia McGillicuddy: Petunia who can turn the world on with her smile, wherever you are I hope you're happy, healthy, and loved.

Gran's on Bran: May life bring you everything rich in love, health, and happiness. You deserve it.

Gay Mad Housewife: You vanished long ago but your sharp-as-a-knife humor lingers forever. Best of luck where ever you are.

ThatMattGuy: Young, cute, smart, funny and MIA. Whatever you're doing I hope it's fun.

Neurotic Gay Teen: Relish in your youth; wisdom; and talents. There are many of us rooting for you. Take care.

Beer Notes: Poetry. Experience. Humor. Passion. It's all being directed to a new life. Thomas, I hope you're well and living large.

Godspeed, Doris

Parting is such sweet sorrow. An inspiration; humorist; kind-hearted; talented; helluva fine woman has said goodbye to the blogging world. Doris, you'll be sorely missed.

Huggers - Pookie


Black jersey out. Farm animals & household items in.

Just in time for the Holiday Season, or Christmas for our Religious Right friends, comes the perfect little cocktail dress.

Comfort replaces black as the "must have" in every woman's closet this 2006. You'll be the envy of every women in the room as your sport a pink-dyed, sheepskin A-line dress with a modest hem line. All you'll need is a few strategically placed baubles on this lovely gown by Sonia Rykieland you'll look just like a pink flocked Holiday Tree.

A little more dramatic but equally adaptable is the Dalmation-dander & magnetic feather-duster dress by Norwegian designer Peter Dundas. Hostesses from New York to Topeka will love being able to work the room beautifully and safely dust the furnishings at the same time.

If you've ever caught yourself staring at a lovely silk poinsettia wondering what it would feel like to wear it, then consider this your lucky day. Jean-Charles de Castelbajac unveils an instant holiday classic with his red silk/synthetic poinsettia frock that will take you from the PTA to the company dinner and everywhere in between. Pair with a stunning marshmallow hat (left) and you are guaranteed to be the talk of the town for years to come.

Each of these unique dresses come from the respective designer's ready-to-wear collection and should be arriving at a Sear's or Walmart near you just in time for the Holidays.

"Looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker"

The verdict is out and the new trend in women's footwear is apparently comfort and practicality.

Paris Fashion Week may have come and gone but it's clear what sensible grandmothers and busy soccer moms will be wearing come Spring.


The email stupidity continues

Received this email this morning from a long time friend of the family:

[Fwd: Fw: Fw: Christmas Cards]

Great Idea!!!!!

>Christmas Cards !!!>Yes, Christmas cards. This is coming early (really early) so that you can >get ready to include an important address to your list.>>Read on........ Fun with the ACLU...... Wanna have some fun this CHRISTMAS? >Send the ACLU a CHRISTMAS CARD this year at the same time you mail out your >usual Christmas Cards.>>As they are working so very hard to get rid of the CHRISTMAS part of this >holiday, we should all send them a nice, CHRISTIAN, card to brighten up >their dark, sad, little world.>>Make sure it says "Merry Christmas" on it>>Here's the Address, just don't be rude or crude. (It's Not the Christian way, you know!)>>ACLU>125 Broad Street>18th Floor New York, NY 10004>>Two tons of Christmas cards would freeze their operations because they >wouldn't know if any were regular mail containing contributions. So spend >39 cents and tell the ACLU to leave Christmas alone.>Also tell them that there is no such thing as a "Holiday Tree". . . . It's >a Christmas Tree even in the fields!!>And pass this on to your email lists. We really want to communicate with >the ACLU! They really DESERVE us!!

My reply which was sent to everyone who received the original email:

Dear Miss xxxxxx,Thanks so much for forwarding me that hysterical joke. I really needed it this morning. There is nothing like having a good chuckle with my morning coffee to start the day. I’ve seen it a hundred times before but it makes me laugh out loud every time I see or hear it.

But there are a couple of things I noticed that I wanted to point out before you sent it to anyone else:

1) You accidentally sent me the original that you received and not the version that you took a few minutes to you clean up and make legible. While I am able to read through the fragmented sentences; typos; and poorly constructed paragraphs that all run together, the average person isn't. Can you imagine if some mindless person received this in its current state and continued to forward it? Why, that is a joke all in its own! LOL!

2) Also, somewhere during your editing the punch line (along with half of the joke) was left out. Oh My GOD can you imagine if some fool received a copy of the joke without the rest of the joke, reading the punch line and thought you were serious? Too damn funny! Here is my favorite ending to the joke so you can compare it to your own and see which one you like best:

Those wacky Fundamentalist Christians began circulating the ACLU hoax at the tail end of 2005, during the so-called "
War on Christmas" controversy over (among other things) some businesses' eschewing use of the phrase "Merry Christmas" in favor of "Happy Holidays" (or some other non-Christmas-specific wording). It resurfaced again in August 2006, well ahead of that year's holiday season. As a call to action, the scheme this joke proposes (i.e., flooding the ACLU with Christmas cards) has several serious flaws:

It is based on the erroneous assumption that the ACLU engaged in litigation and related tactics to pressure businesses and other entities into dropping the use of the word "Christmas" in favor of non-religious references during the holiday season. This was not the case. Some manufacturers and retailers opted in 2005 (and earlier years) to use religiously-neutral wording in describing their goods and services during the holiday season that runs from November to January, but they did so because they felt such a move would appeal to a broader customer base, not because they were urged or pressured into doing so by the ACLU.

The ACLU headquarters on Broad Street in New York is quite well-staffed, and they could easily divert resources to temporary Christmas-card opening duty in the mailroom for a few weeks without "freezing their operations" in the process.

Private, unsolicited contributions sent by U.S. Mail constitute a relatively small portion of the ACLU's operating budget, and most of those are sent through local
affiliate offices, not through the main office in New York. Therefore, if a temporary spate of Christmas cards really threatened to interfere with their operations, the Broad Street office could simply throw the cards away unopened without fear that they were losing a significant amount of financial contributions as a result.

Above all, any rational person might consider whether engaging in deliberate deception and attempting to sabotage an organization's operations over a chimera isn't the antithesis of what Christmas (and Christianity itself) is supposed to be about. The truth is that if every stupid person (usually one of those Wacky Fundamentalist Christians) who wasted .37 on a stamp and $2.00 on a Holiday card and sent to the ACLU were to make a donation to a worthwhile charity a whole lot of people could receive assistance with food, clothing, and shelter for the Holiday season.

Of course that would be too simple wouldn’t it? It’s much more fun to be a Wacky Fundamentalist Christian with too much fucking time on their hands than a Rational Person who actually gives a shit about their fellow man. Isn’t it?

Again, Miss xxxxxx, thanks for the joke! It made my day. Oh, in the event I forget to tell you, Seasons Greetings! May the lights of your Holiday Tree shine bright and long!




Some people are just so damn stupid

Some Republicans, not all mind you but the most vocal, are so damn naive. Either that or their are just so caught up in their contempt for democracy that they'll believe anything they read or hear without bothering to verify it's accuracy. Over night I've received three separate emails titled Fwd: Fw: Definition Of Rotten. Basically it's a very old urban legend about Hillary Clinton and the Gold Star Mothers. If for some reason you, my sensible reader, should get a copy of this nonsense simply hit the Reply to Everyone (because you know this brand of Republican can only do mass email and spam) so everyone gets your reply. Then include this simple message:

Dear Jane,

I know that you're much too smart a person to knowingly perpetuate falsehoods and propaganda so you may want to look at this:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/goldstar.asp. Don't feel too bad though as mistakes are made all the time. America did, after all, elect George W. Bush not once but twice as President and we all know what a monumental mistake that has turned out to be. (insert a smiley face emote here for effect)

I just thought you'd like to know the facts before you send out a little "oops, I made a mistake" message. No need to thank me, Jane, it is my pleasure helping you set the facts straight.

Hope you have a wonderful day!



My neighborhood in summary

Little Boxes
by Malvina Reynolds

Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes made of tickytacky
Little boxes on the hillside, little boxes all the same
There's a green one and a pink one and a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses all went to the university
Where they were put in boxes and they came out all the same,
And there's doctors and there's lawyers, and business executives
And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf course and drink their martinis dry,
And they all have pretty children and the children go to school
And the children go to summer camp and then to the university
Where they are put in boxes and they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business and marry and raise a family
In boxes made of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.