oopsie

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS...

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.
He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

Best facial ever

Yesterday I got the single best facial I've had since living in Atlanta and Saks had their salon/spa.

For $90 I got a men's deep cleansing & refining which consisted of: a starter mask & massage, Micro-dermabrasion followed by a full-face 25% glycolic acid peel, a lifting facial massage, pore extraction, and a 10 minute foot massage while the final mask of "secret healing herbs and minerals" was drying. Cap it all off with a Rosemary & Lemon toner/spritz and you have 90 minutes of sheer bliss. If I were rich I'd have one of these every week.

If anyone knows of a good toner/astringent that doesn't mess up a spray tan let me know. I love that super-clean feeling but not at the risk of ruining a $25 tan.