7.17.2005

Proud American Couple Gate C-17 JAX

I'm editing this post to elaborate solely on this one couple I observed while waiting at the gate in JAX for the much delayed flight to Houston Bush International. I am typing on an old laptop with missing keys so please excuse the typos and errors.


Proud American Couple - She is in her 60's. Tall, heavy set but not fat, dyed red hair, and bright red lipstick over tight pinched, straight lips. He is thin, a bit shorter than his wife, and looks weary. Not weary as in lack of sleep weary but in the sense that he hs worn down and has given up.

Mrs. PA and Mr. PA wear matching I love America t-shirts. They are white tees and the words are spelled out in what else but red, white, and blue. She sports a wooden country-craft necklace with matching earrings that are miniature wooden blocks in red, white, and blue that spell out America with wooden US flag blocks scattered in for fun. Her earrings are the flag blocks and she keeps turning them to make sure the flag shows straight on.

Mrs. PA is wearing jeans (I guarantee they are American made) and a red, white, and blue woven leather belt. She wears sensible white sneakers and carries a fabric shoulder bag with a US flag on it. I bet her panties are are also red, white, and blue. She never smiles and her husband looks scared of her. I believe she hits him in places so we'll never see the bruises but I know they are there. As I mentioned Mr. PA is much smaller than his wife in height and weight. He wears the khaki slacks and white sneakers that his wife had picked out for him while he was in the shower. His clothes are loose on him but clean and pressed. Mrs. PA would never allow Mr. PA to leave the house or hotel looking wrinkled. It wouldn't be appropriate. His undershorts are probably boxer style bought 3 to a pack for $6.00 and she starches them. I bet he itches in his special place because of the starch.

Mrs. PA is the kind of American that orders and eats "Freedom Fries". She would make a point of saying it loud enough when ordering that everyone around her hears her say "Feedom Fries". Mr. PA could care less if if they are called French fries but Mrs. PA would have a fit if she heard him so he fcalls them Freedom Fries too. Except when she isn't around. Then he orders French Fries and he he says it very loudly so everyone can hear. Except Mrs. PA.

Mrs. PA loves Rush Limbaugh because he is a great American. I doubt she understands much of the political issues Rush talks about but she listens and nods her head in agreement because Rush is right. Mrs. PA thinks George W. Bush is the second coming of Christ because her Southern Baptist minister and Rush say so. Mr. PA really has no opinion except that his wife believes this and he will not go against her beliefs if he wants to keep peace in his home.

Mrs. PA drives her American minivan to Walmart, her favorite store. When she gets out of her American Minivan she checks the rear bumper to make sure that her "Support Our Troops", "I (heart) America", and "Bush Cheney 04'" stickers are still there. Rush Limbaugh said that Liberals will take your bumper stickers off your car because they hate anyone who supports America. Mrs. PA is always on the look out for America Hating Liberal bumper sticker thieves. She doesn't worry about it too much in Houston because most everyone there loves America. But like Rush says the Liberals are sneaky and show up in strange places. Even Walmart.


So Mrs. PA and her timid little husband were originally sitting about three rows across from me in the terminal. I couldn't help but but notice them because of their very smart Patriotic outfits. I watch them (her mainly) because she too is people watching and I want to see who she finds interesting. She makes disapproving faces at women in business suits because she believes women would be home with their husbands and no traveling with work. She frowns when a young mother threatens her screaming toddler with "time-out" because Mrs. PA knows that time-out will make the child weak. What the young mother needs to spank her child if she wants him to be obedient. Mrs. PA looks mad when an obviously affluent Asian couple walks by with Louis button luggage. How dare those foreigners flaunt that designer suitcase in front of her. When one of the obviously gay couples near her starts laughing she whispers something to Mr. PA and shakes her head furiously. Those people have no right to be happy. What could they possibly laugh about? They will dies from Aids which God will give them and they are making a mockery of her own marriage. She whispers again in Mr Paso ear and he slowy..weakly nods to appease her. Finally, an interracial couple sits only one row away from her and Mr. PA. This is the final straw. She stands up grabs her cotton shoulder bag (along with Mr. PA) and marches walks across the terminal to C 15. In her Proud American Mind she knows that God does not want her to sit near homosexuals or people who marry outside their own race. She is a good American and I bet if you ask she tell you as much.

Safe and secure from the evils in C 17 she can happily wait for her plane to get her home to Texas. The only thing Mrs. PA has to worry about now is whether some anti-American Liberal has stolen one of her beautiful bumper stickers off of her American minivan.






9 comments:

The Dangerous Man said...

Blimey, you worked all that out just by looking at them? Pretty good at judging aren't you?!

Shame about their T-Shirts though, surely you could have told them that attitudes like that lead to world divisions, you'd think that being from America, a country that says its going to bring 'fairness, equality and democracy' to the world, they would have known that. Clearly not, never mind.

"I love America" T-Shirts indeed, LOL.

doris said...

That was a fantastic observation. At first I was surprised with all the detail but then with all that red, white and blue it all fits. What makes it so amazing is your jumping into thinking what she might be thinking! Don't it make you proud to be American!!! :-)

DLAK said...

All seams like judgemental bullshit to me. hmmmmmmmm maybe we are not so open minded as we think.

Ghone said...

You Americans scare me!!!

BRETTCAJUN said...

Did she have big whooped up hair???

Petunia McGillicuddy said...

I think you would love "This is Nowhere" a documentary about retired RVers who drive around America, camping in WalMart parking lots, waxing philosophic about freedom, justice, and the WalMart I mean American way.

Pookie65 said...

Jay & Doris - I have a vivid imagination. I believe it may stem from doing too much acid when I was a teen.

Dlak - Just my little way of passing time in the airport. Wait until I get around to writing about the 2 porn star guys that sat beside me in C 17 :=O

Ghone - Yes. I scare the hell outta myself sometimes. But super-0patriots scare me even more...

Brett - Her hair was more like one of those tight rolled home perm things. It was a short, reddish, mini-football helmet

Petunia who can turn the world on with her smile - I am SO going to check that out. Is it at all like Sordid Lives the film?

Petunia McGillicuddy said...

oh, I don't know sordid lives. but please do go on about the porn stars!

Pookie65 said...

LOL, Petunia who can turn the worl on with her smile....

I will certainly post my naughty observations. Not sure when but soon.

Oh, you have GOT to see Sordid Lives. You can rent it on Netflix or in any Blockbuster. It is the epitomy of southern women gone bad.