Generating randomness

First off I'd like to send a big THANK YOU to everyone who left a comment on T's 40th birthday post. We headed over to Amelia Island to my sisters beach place right after I posted and it was truly a shock to see all the kind words. What a great bunch of folks you all are. I meant every word I said regarding our relationship. I am very lucky and I truly wish everyone to find someone as awesome as my Punkin.

So the weekend was really nice. T & I hooked up with a friend of his from high school he hadn't see in 20 years who just moved to the island. (Talk about a small world) She's a beautiful person and her husband is a hoot. I told him no less than 5 times to write a damn book already. He is like the heterosexual version of Augusten Burroughs. I look forward to getting to know them better as we visit Amelia and when they eventually come up here.

Speaking of friends & visitors: A girl I went to high school who has lived in Tampa for the as long as we've lived in Florida finally emailed me after a 2 year hiatus. We've always had a strange relationship in that we've been friends since 2nd grade but never talked on the phone like every day. I can take her in small doses and vice/versa but we care about each other. So every year we've hooked up for a weekend and stayed in touch by phone, letters (anyone remember letters?), and email. I've been by her side through several very weird relationships, her courtship with a much younger man and their eventual marriage. So why the lapse of contact on her part in 2 years? No returning my calls, no Christmas cards, no emails, nothing.

Then I get this email Friday:

What are you doing the last week in September?I'm taking some time off and thought maybe I would come to see you. I think it's only been 2 years. I would probably drive up on a Sunday morning and leave Tuesday morning. I've never fiddled around the shops and thought I would pop over to that little antique town on Monday while you guys are working. Want to see your new house as well. What do you think? Would that work?

I suppose it would work but I'm not sure if I want it to. I'm real close to writing her back (which I've not done yet) using one of the following scenarios:

I'll create a bogus email address and write her pretending to be my "personal assistant":

Haven't you heard? Pookie took a nasty fall over a log in January while stalking that hunky Jeff Corwin in Borneo and was bitten by a Temple Viper. He is doing fine but upon meeting him Jeff has asked him to accompany him to Nepal. Look for Pookie on the April 22, 2006 episode as he and Jeff adopt for a Banner-tailed Kangaroo Rat and hand feed it back to health. I'll let him know you wrote you wrote.

Or perhaps this:

Dear Fan: Power Pole Pookie receives a lot of fan mail and while he'd like to respond to each letter personally his schedule simply doesn't permit it. Please know that he appreciates his fans and your loyalty and thinks about you while he brings himself to explosive ecstasy while he is shooting the sequel to "Power Pole Pookie Plows Through the Frat Boys of the SEC". Please visit his web site and mention Code: PPPxxx69 for a special DVD discount.

I suppose I could just reply and tell her that I'm sorry but I have friends coming that weekend that I've actually heard from since 2003. This whole thing kind of pisses me off. In the end I may just end up not replying at all. For two years. Then I reply and tell her to come on down.