Life goes on

I got an update on my friend with the cancer yesterday. Apparently his doctor gave him a long term estimate of about a month to live once he stopped treatments. Looking at him it's obvious he's very ill but his spirit still shines on. It's really hard for me to accept that someone I just had dinner with and will be going out with next week may not be here in a few weeks. He's accepted his fate with dignity and is living the last weeks of his life to the fullest.

I'm past worrying about him. It's the wife I'm so concerned about. She's doing the same thing I did when my dad was dying and that was to prepare herself completely with facts and plans so when it happens she'll be strong and move on. In a way this is good in that there aren't any surprises and the death process is almost mechanical. The problem is that later on when the emotional aspect hits she will fall completely apart. There are no more doctors...planning...Wills...Legalities to focus on. Just the fact that someone you love very much is gone and what are you supposed to do next. I'll be there for her 24-7 and I pray she'll turn to me...turn to someone when it hits her. God this is just so painful to watch.

Well, I finally heard from friends of mine, a married couple, in Chalmotte, LA. Ever since Katrina hit I've been calling and sending emails just to know they are OK. Last night I got an email from the wife:

Just a quick note to let you know that we left the morning before the hurricane hit and drove up to Tennessee and stayed a couple of days with Charlie's sister and her husband, then drove to Oklahoma to leave our dog with family. Right now we are renting a small one bedroom furnished apartment in Columbia, Tennessee, but are looking for a permanent residence.

From what we have heard we had water to the eaves for several days, then one of the storage tanks at the oil refinery (Murphy Oil) ruptured and now our house is also sitting in a toxic waste area and apparently will be bulldozed without our ever being able to try to save anything that might have survived the flooding.

We're both all right, and we're ok financially, and even though it may take a year or more to collect, we have home owners and flood insurance and we'll start over.

It is such a relief knowing that they survived this. Charles has a bad heart and his wife has the worst form of Diabetes and the complications with her organs that go along with it. I can't wait for them to call and hear their voices. Just knowing that there are hundreds of thousands of people in the same boat in this country is unfathomable to me.

T and I celebrated our big 15 year anniversary yesterday. Over dinner I couldn't help but think over and over how lucky I am. I'm working on a post of how we met and some highlights of the past 15 years. It's hard to post a tribute to someone/something that important without first making sure it's as perfect as the person who sat across the table from me last night. In time I'll load it up.


Sangroncito said...

The death of a loved one really doesn't sink in until well after the fact, as you have said. We are often so busy when it first happens we don't have time to really think about our grief.

I'm glad your friends got out safely. I can't imagine losing everything and having to start over. But the important thing is that they are alive and have insurance to cover some of the losses.

And Happy Anniversary!

The Dangerous Man said...

Wow, its so strange to hear from someone that was actually affected by this disaster. It's amazing that all their belongings are gone.

I bet their annoyed that they cant salvage anything before it gets bulldozed.

As for your friend with cancer, its such a shame. Things like this put other things into perspective and make you wonder why people fall out, its just not worth it. Life is too short!

Petunia McGillicuddy said...

wow, pookie. so much.

doris said...

Such a poignant post full of life. Including knowing that a friend will shortly die. That must be so strange knowing and wondering.

Wonderful news that your friends are OK. They and their pet are alive so that is the most important thing for which I am sure they count their blessings. I can't imagine having to start again from scratch.

Happ Anniversary! 15 years is no mean feat and may you have many more. It is beautiful the way you always speak lovingly and kindly about T - this very special person in your life. Hugs to you both :-)