9.14.2005

Warning from the Centers for Disease Control!

Reporter; Tom Thingamabob

NYT, August 14, 2005

THE CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL has issued a no-nonsense warning about a new, highly virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to, anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor; chronic mangling of the English language; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia and homophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado; uncontrolled facial smirking; total ignorance of geography and history; tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.

The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas bush.

Please inform any of your friends and associates who have been acting unusual lately.

8 comments:

The Dangerous Man said...

I'll say it again Pookie, your are incredibly funny.

Not only that but you say it as it is. And thats pretty cool!

Rest assured I practice safe, and if I was in the 'danger zone' I wouldn't have caught it!

Pookie65 said...

I can't take credit for the joke. It was emailed to me yesterday and I had no choice but to share it.

Huggers! You sexy thing you.

cola boy said...

I love it!!!

Mr. Brian said...

that was absolutely hilarious!!!!!

Micah said...

I laughed out loud!!!!

Thank you.

doris said...

Oh dear I thought as I started reading it and remembering the first publicity of Aids and then I started to sound out the condition.... Yay! very funny and absolutely brilliant. That's worth nicking and passing on!

Ghone said...

Very good!
First laugh of the day!

3raser said...

HA!! My, I enjoyed that.