Reporter; Tom Thingamabob
NYT, August 14, 2005
THE CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL has issued a no-nonsense warning about a new, highly virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him"). Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.
Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to, anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor; chronic mangling of the English language; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia and homophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado; uncontrolled facial smirking; total ignorance of geography and history; tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas bush.
Please inform any of your friends and associates who have been acting unusual lately.
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5 comments:
I can't take credit for the joke. It was emailed to me yesterday and I had no choice but to share it.
Huggers! You sexy thing you.
I love it!!!
I laughed out loud!!!!
Thank you.
Oh dear I thought as I started reading it and remembering the first publicity of Aids and then I started to sound out the condition.... Yay! very funny and absolutely brilliant. That's worth nicking and passing on!
Very good!
First laugh of the day!
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