a summ(er)ization

To elaborate on the events of the past two weeks would take hours -- literally -- and would open up a slew of wounds that have nearly healed. So I'm going to hit the high(and low)lights in bullet fashion:

Monday the 8th:

• Packed up my desk and walked away from a project I loved
• Went for drinks with Conspiring Co-worker/Friend (CCF) that quite with me & my T
• Called another previous co-worker/friend to inquire about her husband's new project
• Met friend/ex-hair dresser for dinner at cool new diner/bistro in Historic downtown
• Answered countless calls & emails regarding my departure

Tuesday the 9th:

• Made appointment about new project
• Licked wounds, patted self on back, licked wounds
• Avoided calls & emails regarding departure

Wednesday the 10th

• First meeting with friend/project coordinator about new development
• Spent the day walking around in a daze
• Ignored calls & emails from curious people in the industry
• Inform housekeeper that we'll likely have to cut back on her services for a while
• Consoled crying housekeeper for an hour over shared coffee and Marlboro Lights
• Told housekeeper to stay on schedule until further notice
• Made promise to meet up with housekeeper (new friend) socially for drinks/coffee/

Thursday the 11th

• Drove over to sister's beach place
• Went to spa; had facial; got great (uber expensive) haircut
• Spent way too much money on new shirt, cologne, sun glasses (therapy)
• Went to a local bar; ran into a friend; drank way too many cocktails on empty stomach
• Fell face first onto brick steps leading to house and fucked up face
• Looked into mirror and realized that all my internal scars were external
• Called T and had long overdue emotional (drunken) break down

Friday the 12th:

• Woke up looking as bad as I felt -- bruised, battered, miserable
• Got email from PP#2 -- very apologetic, flattering, and LONG OVERDUE
• Called PP#1 aka CBWS -- now referred to as CFWI (Crazy Friend With Issues)
• Made plans to meet CFWI for coffee the next week and settle 6 mo. of bullshit
• T, Sister, and dog arrive at beach place

Saturday the 13th:

• Return home late afternoon
• Spent evening on phone with CCF discussing our plans for the future

Sunday the 14th:

• Mother's Day lunch with mom, sister, brother-in-law, & T
• Emotional well being back to 100%

Tuesday the 16th:

• Positive phone conference with PP#2 - agreed to complete 2 personal projects for him
• Lunch with a friend
• Productive therapy session at Macy's and Dillard's clearance racks (saved $800)
• Met CFWI at Starbuck's for coffee and "The Talk"
• Two hours later hugged CFWI good-bye (Yes, we hugged) and left with resolve & peace
• Received email requesting 2nd meeting regarding possible new project

Wednesday the 15th:

• Organized office, files, closets
• successful and super-positive meeting regarding new project

Friday the 19th:

• Yard work, played with dog, enjoying feeling 100% back to normal (whatever that is) again
• Dinner with friends and then saw The Davinci Code (very well done IMHO)

Saturday the 20th - Monday the 23rd:

• Scabs from tripping on brick steps finally fall off -- look human again
• Set up 3rd meeting with new project (today at 10:00)
• Spent entire day researching college classes
• Ordered transcripts from previous college
• Bought umbrella for patio table and re-potted all outdoor potted plants
• Watched TV, played computer games, organized home office
• Fully recovered emotionally to begin making future career decisions
• Reaffirmed that leaving the project was the best thing I could have done FOR ME
• Decided that this dry, hot, Florida weather is just too fucking miserable
• Will develop and set into motion a plan to move to a place more comfortable -- eventually

So that about sums it all up. I'm feeling great and looking forward to the 10:oo project meeting. I have a lot of questions that need to be answered and definite terms written into the contract before I agree to accept the position.

Through all of this I've learned that the deaths of my Chow - Nikki, my aunt, and my brother have made me hypersensative to my environment. I've also learned that I am not going to settle for anything less than what makes me 100% happy. I won't be walking into another situation that isn't completely healthy for my emotional well-being and I am not going to jump into anything without completely (over) analyzing the pros vs. cons. Life is just too damn short.

From here on out I am doing what's best for me. I'll keep you posted.

Hugs & kisses!

Pookie