The ill begotten list

Credit for this post goes to Alexander who I assume stole the idea from Jay who stole it from Steve . It's basically ten things you probably didn't know (or may not even care to know) about me.

1) I shamelessly steal lists and ideas from other bloggers. But I always give credit where credit is due.

2) Sometimes when no one is looking I make faces at children. My favorite place to do this is in the market. It's hysterical to make a face at a kid and then act all innocent when their parents catch them sticking out their tongue at me. It's not as bad as what a friend of mine in Atlanta does. She'll pass gas in the grocery store and then let whatever child (even her own) is around take the blame for it.

3) If I have a dream in which my T pisses me off I will seek revenge when I wake up. I'll select one hair on his arm and pull it as fast and hard as I can to wake him up. Then I pretend to be asleep. Sometimes I do this if he is snoring too. Call me a bitch. He does.

4) I secretly feed my hubby T fresh vegetables. He really hates all vegetables but I love him and want him to get some in his diet. In order to do this I'll process the hell out of a carrot...Some beans or broccoli...Whatever I have on hand and mix it in wherever possible with a stew, sauce, or main dish. He can't even tell I do it he is eating better.

5) If I am in the right place and time and see a parking meter that is expired I will put some change in it. Partly because it's a nice thing to do but mainly because it keeps the "system" from giving out another ticket. This is particularly fun if there is a meter maid nearby and they see you doing it.

6) I love my caller ID and I use it to screen calls. Hell, we all do it but most won't admit to it. There are just sometimes I don't feel like talking to anyone. (If someone leaves a message I always check it to see if it's an emergency)

7) I have probably 20 kinds of cologne (and counting) and each morning I base which cologne I wear based on my mood for the day. The same with my shirts. I can't just grab something and throw it on. I have to choose based on emotion.

8) Once upon a time I worked for a subsidiary "not for profit" *wink * *wink* business of a very large, very popular Baptist church by day and worked in a male strip joint by night. (Obviously I was much younger and in much better shape)

9) Many years ago during a snow/ice storm a whole bunch in the apartment complex T and I lived in hung out for three days partying and playing in the snow. One guy was SO DAMNED OBNOXIOUS and LOUD that several of us conspired and we put a Xanax in his beer so he would get sleepy and go home. It worked.

10) As vain as I pretend to be...OK I am vain...But I am still very comfortable in my own skin. I'm 40 now and I've learned to be happy with the body I have now and accept that I am not 20 or never will be again. I could spend all my free time going to the gym every day...dieting like mad...But I don't because I just don't enjoy it. For me life is too short to spend my time working for a six-pack (which really isn't attractive at all to me anyway) or a 30" waist again. Not gonna happen. Besides, so long as there are still spray tans, Botox, dark fabrics and vertical stripes I'll still look pretty damn good for an old fart.