8.02.2005

The ill begotten list

Credit for this post goes to Alexander who I assume stole the idea from Jay who stole it from Steve . It's basically ten things you probably didn't know (or may not even care to know) about me.

1) I shamelessly steal lists and ideas from other bloggers. But I always give credit where credit is due.

2) Sometimes when no one is looking I make faces at children. My favorite place to do this is in the market. It's hysterical to make a face at a kid and then act all innocent when their parents catch them sticking out their tongue at me. It's not as bad as what a friend of mine in Atlanta does. She'll pass gas in the grocery store and then let whatever child (even her own) is around take the blame for it.

3) If I have a dream in which my T pisses me off I will seek revenge when I wake up. I'll select one hair on his arm and pull it as fast and hard as I can to wake him up. Then I pretend to be asleep. Sometimes I do this if he is snoring too. Call me a bitch. He does.

4) I secretly feed my hubby T fresh vegetables. He really hates all vegetables but I love him and want him to get some in his diet. In order to do this I'll process the hell out of a carrot...Some beans or broccoli...Whatever I have on hand and mix it in wherever possible with a stew, sauce, or main dish. He can't even tell I do it he is eating better.

5) If I am in the right place and time and see a parking meter that is expired I will put some change in it. Partly because it's a nice thing to do but mainly because it keeps the "system" from giving out another ticket. This is particularly fun if there is a meter maid nearby and they see you doing it.

6) I love my caller ID and I use it to screen calls. Hell, we all do it but most won't admit to it. There are just sometimes I don't feel like talking to anyone. (If someone leaves a message I always check it to see if it's an emergency)

7) I have probably 20 kinds of cologne (and counting) and each morning I base which cologne I wear based on my mood for the day. The same with my shirts. I can't just grab something and throw it on. I have to choose based on emotion.

8) Once upon a time I worked for a subsidiary "not for profit" *wink * *wink* business of a very large, very popular Baptist church by day and worked in a male strip joint by night. (Obviously I was much younger and in much better shape)

9) Many years ago during a snow/ice storm a whole bunch in the apartment complex T and I lived in hung out for three days partying and playing in the snow. One guy was SO DAMNED OBNOXIOUS and LOUD that several of us conspired and we put a Xanax in his beer so he would get sleepy and go home. It worked.

10) As vain as I pretend to be...OK I am vain...But I am still very comfortable in my own skin. I'm 40 now and I've learned to be happy with the body I have now and accept that I am not 20 or never will be again. I could spend all my free time going to the gym every day...dieting like mad...But I don't because I just don't enjoy it. For me life is too short to spend my time working for a six-pack (which really isn't attractive at all to me anyway) or a 30" waist again. Not gonna happen. Besides, so long as there are still spray tans, Botox, dark fabrics and vertical stripes I'll still look pretty damn good for an old fart.

5 comments:

Alexander said...

You put money in parking meters for other people? That thought really makes me smile. Now we need to convert everybody else to this way of thinking and the world will be great. Well done for leading the charge :D

Alexander said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Petunia McGillicuddy said...

BEST LIST EVER!!

Damn, you are super sweet and subversive to boot!

I LOVE that you make faces at kids and then act all normal. FUN! I pick my perfume for the day by how I feel, too. Except I only have three different kinds, plus the cheapo cocoa butter lotion from Walgreen's that smells like chocolate. I totally love your attitude about being fit. I'm sure you are Mr sexy!

Ok, so you totally have a mean streak-- but it's endearing!

Scotty said...

THat list rocks. I wish I had your attitude about your body. I fret and worry about my gut and my weight and waist size constantly. IT really sucks and I need to get over it...I know.

The Dangerous Man said...

Lol, I can't believe that you make faces at kids when people arent looking. I do this too, or did until one burst into tears and went to tell her mummy that I was being mean, then the loud, tattood, lower income bracket parent came over and threatened to lay into me, and so I didn't ever do it again. -True story