17 New Country and Western Song Titles

17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All Day Long

15. If I Can't Be Number 1 In Your Life, Then Number 2 On You

14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

12. I Liked You Better Before I Got To Know You So Well

11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Getting Better

10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out O f Prison By Now

6. My wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him

5. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger

4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

3. Her Tooth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure

2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer

And the Number One song is:

1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman, But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few

Anatomy Of A Republican

As promised...

Just for shits & giggles I'm going to post the links to video church reviews by Betty Butterfield. Turn up the voulme and enjoy.


Mmmmmmmhelloooo?




Baptists

Presbyterians

Methodists

Pentecostals

Lutherans

Episcopalians

Catholics

UCC

Jehovah Witnesses

Buddhists

The Mosque

Scientologists

Mormons

A new chapter in the Book of Pookie

It's official -- I accepted the position over at the new project. There will be lots of hard work involved and many hours of research and meetings ahead but it seems like the best fit for me at this place in my life. I'm excited about it but not for the obvious reasons -- like having job security. That's important for sure but for me what's more thrilling it's more like the beginning of a new chapter in the story of my life.

I feel like the way everything has fallen into place with this was the way it was intended to. Along with the bad and the ugliness I'm taking the good and the potential. I'm not closing the last chapter of the Book of Pookie but rather plan to keep it open and refer back to it often as a point of reference.

Naturally I'll have tons of plots and details that I'll share along the way but for now I'm simply going to bask in the peace of mind in knowing that something new and positive is on my horizon.

For my next couple of posts I'm planning to share some things that have amused me and kept me entertained as late. Hopefully they'll bring a bit of dark humor into your day as well.

Hugs & Kisses!

a summ(er)ization

To elaborate on the events of the past two weeks would take hours -- literally -- and would open up a slew of wounds that have nearly healed. So I'm going to hit the high(and low)lights in bullet fashion:

Monday the 8th:

• Packed up my desk and walked away from a project I loved
• Went for drinks with Conspiring Co-worker/Friend (CCF) that quite with me & my T
• Called another previous co-worker/friend to inquire about her husband's new project
• Met friend/ex-hair dresser for dinner at cool new diner/bistro in Historic downtown
• Answered countless calls & emails regarding my departure

Tuesday the 9th:

• Made appointment about new project
• Licked wounds, patted self on back, licked wounds
• Avoided calls & emails regarding departure

Wednesday the 10th

• First meeting with friend/project coordinator about new development
• Spent the day walking around in a daze
• Ignored calls & emails from curious people in the industry
• Inform housekeeper that we'll likely have to cut back on her services for a while
• Consoled crying housekeeper for an hour over shared coffee and Marlboro Lights
• Told housekeeper to stay on schedule until further notice
• Made promise to meet up with housekeeper (new friend) socially for drinks/coffee/

Thursday the 11th

• Drove over to sister's beach place
• Went to spa; had facial; got great (uber expensive) haircut
• Spent way too much money on new shirt, cologne, sun glasses (therapy)
• Went to a local bar; ran into a friend; drank way too many cocktails on empty stomach
• Fell face first onto brick steps leading to house and fucked up face
• Looked into mirror and realized that all my internal scars were external
• Called T and had long overdue emotional (drunken) break down

Friday the 12th:

• Woke up looking as bad as I felt -- bruised, battered, miserable
• Got email from PP#2 -- very apologetic, flattering, and LONG OVERDUE
• Called PP#1 aka CBWS -- now referred to as CFWI (Crazy Friend With Issues)
• Made plans to meet CFWI for coffee the next week and settle 6 mo. of bullshit
• T, Sister, and dog arrive at beach place

Saturday the 13th:

• Return home late afternoon
• Spent evening on phone with CCF discussing our plans for the future

Sunday the 14th:

• Mother's Day lunch with mom, sister, brother-in-law, & T
• Emotional well being back to 100%

Tuesday the 16th:

• Positive phone conference with PP#2 - agreed to complete 2 personal projects for him
• Lunch with a friend
• Productive therapy session at Macy's and Dillard's clearance racks (saved $800)
• Met CFWI at Starbuck's for coffee and "The Talk"
• Two hours later hugged CFWI good-bye (Yes, we hugged) and left with resolve & peace
• Received email requesting 2nd meeting regarding possible new project

Wednesday the 15th:

• Organized office, files, closets
• successful and super-positive meeting regarding new project

Friday the 19th:

• Yard work, played with dog, enjoying feeling 100% back to normal (whatever that is) again
• Dinner with friends and then saw The Davinci Code (very well done IMHO)

Saturday the 20th - Monday the 23rd:

• Scabs from tripping on brick steps finally fall off -- look human again
• Set up 3rd meeting with new project (today at 10:00)
• Spent entire day researching college classes
• Ordered transcripts from previous college
• Bought umbrella for patio table and re-potted all outdoor potted plants
• Watched TV, played computer games, organized home office
• Fully recovered emotionally to begin making future career decisions
• Reaffirmed that leaving the project was the best thing I could have done FOR ME
• Decided that this dry, hot, Florida weather is just too fucking miserable
• Will develop and set into motion a plan to move to a place more comfortable -- eventually

So that about sums it all up. I'm feeling great and looking forward to the 10:oo project meeting. I have a lot of questions that need to be answered and definite terms written into the contract before I agree to accept the position.

Through all of this I've learned that the deaths of my Chow - Nikki, my aunt, and my brother have made me hypersensative to my environment. I've also learned that I am not going to settle for anything less than what makes me 100% happy. I won't be walking into another situation that isn't completely healthy for my emotional well-being and I am not going to jump into anything without completely (over) analyzing the pros vs. cons. Life is just too damn short.

From here on out I am doing what's best for me. I'll keep you posted.

Hugs & kisses!

Pookie

a teeny, tiny update

Everything in Pookie's World is moving right along. The low point was hit and I dealt with that. Now things are moving upwards for me emotionally and professionally. I'll post on everything in between once there is resolution on just a few more things. It's been a wild ride but I held on tight.

Sending hugs and blessings to anyone reading this.

PRISON BREAK OUT

It is so official now I'm a free man! I feel like I've found the elusive key and managed to escape from the prison that has been my personal hell. If you've not read the comments under my last post then I'll give you a quick run down. On Monday I packed up my desk, turned in my keys, and walked away from my current project. What lead up to this was yet another email from PP#1, quite likely the greediest, most self-serving bitch in the whole world, and a former friend. It wasn't anything unusual - the same childish, petty, vicious kind of email that I've received a hundred times before) but it was my reply - and I stated in my reply that was going to be my FINAL reply ever - that set all of this into motion. One day I plan on posting excerpts of the emails as a small cyber pat-on-the-back to myself. I took a firm stand on the side of ethics, morals, and justice and dammit it feels so good I want to see it published for the world to see.

It's no secret that PP#1 (who will now be referred to as CBWS - Crazy Bitch Without Soul) has done everything within her not-so-reliable powers to make my life and the lives of several good people a living hell. But it wasn't just her that made me cross over from the dark to the light side it was discovering that PP#2 (oh yes - the "good" guy -- the same "decent", ""Christian" man who repeatedly assured me and a few others that he would "always be there for us" were ) was the one who sealed the deal for me. His true colors have shined through like red lace panties under a white gauze skirt. And it ain't pretty.

To my face - and in writing - for 2 1/2 years I've been praised and promised the moon by this guy. But when it all comes down to this pillar of the community and someone who I regarded so highly has turned out to be a cowardly user. This is day 3 since I quit and not a single word. No reply to emails and no return phone calls. Through the grapevine (his 2nd in command) I've heard one message and that is that he "really didn't want me to go." Well duh! If you had someone giving you 110% of their loyalty and talents; working their ass off (off the clock) on your personal projects for no charge; and defending you against the Bitch of the Southeast, of course you want them to stick around. Well, Pookie don't play that game anymore.

I thought about it overnight and this morning tossed back to him, via my own messenger, that I would only consider returning under two circumstances. One of them being that I expected him to convince me of why I should stay. The other being that CBWS have no say so or authority over my own position in regards to any and all of my contributions to the project. Furthermore that any compensation to me for my services come from him directly with her making not one red cent off of my work. For him this is a win/win situation but (always a but) for him to do this he will have to be man enough to iron this out with her (ha!) and have the guts to do a face to face with me and explain to me how he ever allowed the situation to get to this point in the first place. Quite frankly I'm not intimidated in the least by this bitch, I pity her, but it's obvious he is. Go figure. He's the one with all the money and I'm just...Well I'm just a regular (albeit fabulous) guy who is not taking their shit anymore.

So here's my favorite part. I win regardless how this all plays out and here's how. It's highly unlikely that either will accept these terms. But there is no way in hell they are going to be able to avoid the conversation about it. The way I have things set in motion she is going to hear it first and her fucking enormous ego and equally large mouth isn't going to let her sit by without calling him. When he hears about it he'll see $$$ signs by not having to pay her her original cut off of me (which is fairly sizable over a couple of years) AND gets stop the madness in his office. Me back. He may be weak when it comes to confrontation with me but he'll do anything to save $ - especially if he is getting a deal - which he would be. So he is going to have to talk to her (logically at first) just to make the problem go away and fix things in his office. Trust me he will see this as an option worth discussing. Even if he won't talk to me he will talk to her as he pays her. And it will not be a pretty conversation I assure you. They WILL fight over this. I win by either returning to something I absolutely enjoy doing and believe in (not going to happen) OR I win by knowing that she is going to go into stark fucking outrage (inevitable) which will force him into battle mode and that will infuriate her all over again. Her mouth is her own worst enemy and my best friend in the scenario. God I am loving this so much. Who knew taking the moral high ground could be so much fun?

That little party aside (chuckle)...I had an appointment this morning for another project (different players all together) which intrigues me. There is a huge amount of profit potential and it's a very cool concept. The meeting went well enough that I was told that I'd make a perfect addition to the group and asked if I "as a formality would like to meet with the developers to see what we can make happen." We're meeting next week.

I'll keep you posted.

Happy Monday!

Well, it has been an interesting 48 hours. Since Saturday morning I have been in battle once again with PP#1. This time Pookie has shown his hand and is not backing down. Legally PP#1 has every right to fire me as Florida is a "fire at will" state. Meaning even independent contractors auch as myself can be terminated with no stated reason. Period. I fully anticipate receiving notice by the days end.

But Pookie is OK with this. Over the past few months (years) I've accumulated a stack of memos, documents, and emails. I love paper (especially those with signatures, dates, and comments) and instead of hugging trees this liberal saves them. Well, these are going to come in quite handy. By 10:00am I plan to be in the office of an attorney (the meanest SOB in 5 counties) and presenting him with a folder full of evidence that shows Slander, Libel, and Blacklisting that has been used against me. Then yours truly will be sending Fed Ex packages to the DBPR and all governing National, State, and Local offices of my chosen profession. Trust me I don't care to see one thin dime. In fact, I will go so far as to put in writing that I want no compensation or punitive damages and even pay my own legal fees in the event it comes to it. What I want is justice and to have my good name protected.

I have been fucked with one time too many. Someone wanted to play hardball with me and the ball will be served to them in their court (no pun intended) on a silver platter.

Oh, and did I mention that I have a nice little folder for the media as well?

The only thing I want out of this life is to be be treated the way that I have always treated other people. I want to work a job that I love, excel at, and do with high morals and ethics. When someone challenges my RIGHT to this then they will get the fight of their life.

More later kiddies.

random morning madness

Along with a few bills and advertisements in my mail from yesterday was a rental from Netflix, The Twilight of the Golds.

The Players: Jennifer Beals, Faye Dunaway, Brendan Fraser, Garry Marshall, Jon Tenney

The Plot: "When Suzanne Stein has a genetic analysis done on her unborn child, she discovers that although she has a healthy baby, the child will most likely be born gay, like her brother, David. She must decide whether to keep the child, or to have an abortion. Her family enters a crisis about love and acceptance as she makes this difficult choice."

My Take: The synopsis says it all. This was one of the most disturbing films I've seen in as long as I can remember. It left me sad, numb, and outraged. That said the story, directing, and acting were brilliant I highly recommend it if you're up to the emotional roller coaster you'll find yourself on while watching it.

Today as I took my morning coffee on the back porch a couple of things came to mind:

After bitching yesterday about it being so dry lately it looks like we may get rain. For obvious reasons it would be wonderful for the lawn & flowers. But on a selfish (vengeful) note if it rains a certain (bitch) someone will have spent and lost tens of thousands of dollars on a (self-serving) event that no one will attend. And if it storms again tomorrow the same (bitch) person will be hosting a smaller but equally as (self) important outdoor soiree with guests canceling due to the weather.

I was invited but politely declined. However, if it rains I may just have to make an appearance and spread a little of my own personal sunshine. Sweet Jesus let it pour buckets all weekend.

Then I remembered something I read on an internet site. It was an article showing how easy it would be for a person to really upset another person. Basically it asked how easy it would be to for someone to print out say 500 address labels. And then what if they were to place these labels on those (readily available and accessible) postage-paid subscription cards that fall from magazines. Finally I had to wonder that if these cards were to be mailed how confused and irate someone would be having to cancel all 500 subscriptions. What an ugly thing that would be to have happen.

It's funny the things that can pop into my head while I'm swinging in a swing and drinking coffee.

What happened to the April showers?

It's gone from warm, breezy days in the 70's to dry, still days in the 90's in a matter of a couple of weeks. It seems like yesterday that my lawn was soft and brilliantly lush. But as of this morning I can hear that "summer is here" crunch beneath my feet when I walk outside. Even the irrigation system is doing little to no good in keeping things healthy. Can I just say that I love the city but hate the weather?

Years ago Florida was known for it's afternoon showers. You could set your watch by the daily 4:00 shower. Now we're lucky to get a rain once a week. The dreaded "D" word is already being used. Drought. I want to live someplace that has normal weather...the kind with four seasons. Here we get a couple of months of cold and then straight into blistering summer.

T and I are giving serious thought to moving from here one day. We like where we are now much better than Atlanta but this is not someplace we care to retire to and live year round. For several months I've been actively looking for an investment/retirement place up north. WAY up north.

Granted we're about 15-20 years off from pulling in our shingles but in order to afford something we are going to have to do it while we're both still working. Well, I found this place. Sounds like paradise to me. Not very realistic being so far away but the price is unbelievable and the attributes are very appealing. For now the search continues and it's fun to plot out a future for when we're active seniors (old lushes) and enjoying our golden years.

OK, the clock tells me I have to be at the office in 45 minutes so I'm off.

Ut imago est animi voltus sic indices oculi

Cicero (106-43 B.C.) is quoted as saying, "Ut imago est animi voltus sic indices oculi" (The face is a picture of the mind as the eyes are its interpreter).

And the bible, Matthew 6:23, reads "But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!"

More and more I'm starting to believe there is something to this.